Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Why do family visits stress me out?
I have family coming to visit me today. They're flying in from another state and staying for six days. I'm going to pick them up at the airport in about 2 hours. I have mixed feelings about this visit.

I'll bet you're wondering why I'm showing a picture of an amputee in physical therapy? Well, my dad is an amputee, as of last January. He had a series of strokes that landed him in ICU on a venilator and ultimately resulted in having to have a leg amputated. We honestly didn't think he'd survive and I flew back home with Snuggle Bug, who was less than a month old, fearing that my dad wouldn't live long enough to meet him!

This is part of my stress with the upcoming family visit. At first, it was going to be just my younger sister and her 2 year old son. I was excited about that! I have a guest room and they would've had some privacy. They could join Oronzo and Snuggle Bug for all their baby activities on the days that I have to work. I was looking forward to watching Snuggle Bug play with his cousin (only 8 months older) and to having some girl time with my sister after we got the boys to bed.

Then, my sister called and asked if our dad could join her for the visit as well. My dad and I aren't close. We don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. He had a mean streak as we kids grew up. He chain smokes (I hate it). He and my mom are in the process of divorcing and I'm not pleased with how things are being handled. So, as you can tell, there's a lot of baggage associated with my dad. Still, I do love him and I didn't have the heart to say no, especially when my sister (and later my dad) tells me how he'd really appreciate a break from his life. So, I say, "Sure. He can come too."

Now, I'm stressing. I only have one spare room with a spare bed and logic dictates that my dad should have it. I can't very well ask an amputee to sleep on an air mattress or the couch, now can I? So, now I have to figure out where to put my sister and her 2 year old son, without giving her our bedroom or displacing Snuggle Bug from his crib. Oronzo insists that we do not get turned out of our beds if we're having family staying. I can't put them in the office because Oronzo works from home in the evenings. I guess I'm going to see if having them share Snuggle Bug's nursery (without removing Snuggle Bug from his crib) will work. How is it that my 4 BR, 2 BA home suddenly seems small to me. It's not, it just seems that way.

Back to my concerns with my dad. He's doing great with his disability, he really is. He's got a pretty positive attitude about having to wear a prosthetic leg and walking with crutches or a walker and using a wheelchair when he gets too tired. But I truly didn't realize all that is involved with this disability until now. I have to find a shower chair for him. I'm trying to rent a wheel chair. I'm worried about the width of my doorways. I'm worried about Snuggle Bug leaving toys out that might trip him up (I've spent the last few days cleaning my house from top to bottom in preparation for the visit). We're going to be restricted in the activities that we do this week because he now has physical limitations that he didn't have before.

I'm saddened by the thought that, before his disability, he'd get a kick out of helping us with some of our remodeling projects but now he won't be able to do much more than offer suggestions. I know he hates being pitied, so I'll have to be careful not to act that way towards him. He just wants to be treated normally. My dad turns 61 this August but with all he's been through, he seems much older all of a sudden. He's not the vibrant, active man he once used to be. It'll be interesting to see what his daily life is like now and how much he's willing to let us help him. There's just a whole new dynamic to our relationship that I have yet to learn and this visit brings that to the forefront.

Well, time to get some work done before I head to the airport. Wish me luck with my family visit! I'm going to need it!
9:07 AM

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Catch said...

I have a saying about company......they are like fish...after 3 days they stink! ;))

At 11:02 AM, Anonymous away2me said...

My dad is an amputee, has been for over 20 years. He had a horrible leg break and even more horrible doctors who botched the job of making him heal. My dad though is totally mobile and athletic at age 64. He golfs, goes to the gym daily and has a zest for life.

I hope your dad will learn to cope and improve his health (quit smoking). Maybe being around his grandbabies will inspire him.

I hope you are able to enjoy him and your sister. I'm sure you'll figure out some way to house everyone comfortably!

By the way, I added you to my blog list on my site!

At 12:19 PM, Blogger Heather Smith said...

Your in my thoughts and prayers. I hope everything goes well for you and that this time with your dad will be one that builds your relationship stronger!

At 2:01 PM, Blogger andria said...

Good Luck with the family stay.

At 3:23 PM, Anonymous chelle said...

Good Luck!
I always get stressed out when family is involved. They have to be handled like fine china!

I hope the week turns out better than you are bracing for!

At 6:59 AM, Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

Thanks for your encouraging words, ladies. And thanks D for linking me to your blog. :)


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

It wasn't supposed to work this way! (Part 5)
How did this happen?!
What would you pay for an afternoon of pleasure?
Can you hear me now?
It wasn't supposed to work this way! (Part 4)
It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!
Dwelling on Death and Divorce
Ah, the silence of a sleeping child. I think it's...
Ignorant jackass!
It wasn't supposed to work this way! (Part 3)

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