Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Today was the PPH (Preliminary Permanency Hearing). I am so glad I made the decision to go because it's amazing the amount of information I learned at this hearing!I'll cut to the chase, Baby Bug is staying with us a while longer. We were told to expect her to be here for 1-2 months, maybe longer.
After the very first meeting that I couldn't attend, I learned that an extended family member (a cousin) had stepped forward and expressed an interest in taking Baby Bug. We thought this cousin was related to Baby Bug's mom and had custody of Baby Bug's two siblings. That is not the case.
Apparently no one from the mom's side of the family has stepped forward on behalf of Baby Bug. The cousin that has requested her is related to Baby Bug's father and the courts have never dealt with this woman or her husband before.
My understanding is that CPS initiated a background check and right out of the gate found something that causes them concern. Because of the information reveled, they are not willing to place Baby Bug with this couple at this point in time. They haven't totally ruled them out, but they intend to do a more extensive background check/homestudy before proceeding with this possibility. This could take a month or two to complete. In the meantime, CPS wants Baby Bug to remain with us. Apparently they think we're doing a pretty good job of caring for her thus far.
At the beginning of the hearing, everyone introduced themselves and I was amazed at how many people were there in the interest of this tiny baby girl. Baby Bug's parents were present, the paternal cousin was present. The lawyers for each parent were present. Baby Bug's lawyer was present. Two CPS caseworkers were there, as well as a lawyer representing CPS. There was a social worker type person there, ready to make recommendations about services for Baby Bug. There was a Drug Team rep there, ready to offer services to the parents. There was a mediator and, of course, a judge.
I sat and listened for the most part, taking notes along the way. I was asked to voice any concerns I might have for Baby Bug's condition and I mentioned her low weight (only 6 lbs at 3 weeks, and she was born full term) and stiff joints. I said that other than those two issues, she's doing quite well with us...she's getting into an eating/sleeping routine, pretty mellow, etc.
During the hearing, I sat and listened to all the allegations being brought against Baby Bugs parents and couldn't help feeling relieved that CPS had removed her before she was seriously injured.
Baby Bug's parents seem very eager to do what is necessary to get their daughter back. They are looking forward to the promise of twice a week, supervised visits with Baby Bug (court approved) that will take place at a CPS office. They were also told that they would be expected to meet us at the pediatrician's office each time that Baby Bug has a doctor's appointment, to prove they can offer active participation and better parenting skills. There are other requirements they'll have to meet as well. They assured the judge that they will do what is required of them to work their case plan.
Out of that court hearing came appointments for 3 other court appointments between now and mid-March! There will also be 90 day reviews done for each parent to see how they're progressing. I learned that the parents will be given up to 1 year to meet all the requirements to get Baby Bug back (they could have her sooner than 1 year, it's up to them). If they haven't met those requirements, they were warned that an adoption plan would be formed at that time and parental rights would be severed. 12 months that the family caring for Baby Bug may have to wait to know what the outcome will be. That's a long time. I suspect that, if the parents do what they're asked, they'd get her back before then. Time will tell.
I met Baby Bug's parents at this hearing and I'm glad I did. Mom is pretty. Dad is a big man (not heavy, just big and very tall). I introduced myself to them (first name only) during a break and offered them pictures of Baby Bug that I had taken and made copies of for them. The pictures really broke the ice and they were very appreciative to get them. They thanked me for the kind gesture.
At the end of the hearing, Baby Bug's dad made a point to come up to me, shake my hand and say, "Thank you for all that you're doing. Please take good care of my baby girl." I assured him she would be well taken care of.
So, it looks like we'll have Baby Bug through Christmas, maybe longer (it's all still so up in the air). I must admit, I'm relieved. I like knowing for sure that she's safe and loved and when we have to give her back, I'll always wonder how she's doing. Now, there is a slim chance that we'll end up being able to adopt her, but I'm not counting on it. Her parents seem pretty determined to do what's necessary to get her back and that's a good thing, if she can be safe and cared for.
Tonight I got boxes of baby girl clothes (0-3 months) out of storage and did a load of laundry. There are so many cute outfits in there that family members have given me over the past couple of years. There were lots of tiny pink outfits. I do believe I like pink! :)
That's all for now. Time for me to get some sleep before that next night feeding!
I'll keep you all posted!
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, Baby Bug, foster children, fostering, placement call
24 Comments:
I'm glad you got to meet all those people. It was really thoughtful of you to get pictures to the parents. I'm sure they really appreciate your care of baby bug.
Just because the parents seem determined to get BB back, once they actually have to DO something to make that happen, that determination may slip away -- especially if they have drug issues.
I've yet to see a bio parent that chose their child in foster care over their drugs.
You made the right choice going, and im glad you got to see how it all works. Im praying for this sweet litle one and for you.
That is a very complicated system. I'm glad that she is with you to get care at this point. It is good that you know that she could be taken away, although it is all kind of sad too.
It is very interesting to learn about how cases like this work. I'm glad she gets to stay with you a little longer.
Curious, I followed the link from you comment on my buddy's Words of a Life site. What a cool thing you are doing - I read all the way back through getting baby bug. I also thought it interesting that the children are referred to as "___ bug". My family does the same thing. Praise God for people like you who are willing to care for the orphans. My husband and I have two of our own and feel led to adopt but haven't taken that step of faith yet.
I misted up when I read about Baby Bug's dad asking you to take good care of his baby girl. Sounds like he would be very loving if he can get his act together.
Enjoy spoiling that little girl on her 1st Christmas! What a privilege!!
I am so grateful you have her. As someone who should have been removed from her home as a child, hearing this story makes me so happy.
So glad to hear that each step is being taken to the best for Baby Bug. A year is a long time, but she is where she needs to be right now. Enjoy lovin' on her :)
I am an adoptive Mom of a child taken from CPS. Although I am upset by what happened to my little one I feel deep sadness (not as much anger) for his biological parents. They get the sacrlet letter if you will and they have suffered not only jail and drug issues but the greatest loss ..him. I think you did the right thing showing compassion to them. It might be what changes them for the better...we hope and pray!
Wow,
Reading your blog the past few days has brought back so much emotion that I too had dealt with during the time of the boys. That baby is so lucky to have you.. My heart goes out to you... I'm keeping you all in my prayers.. I too know the parents probably do care but I have yet to see any clean up their act to get the back.. A yr is a long time... My children's mom even went thru rehab. I had decided if she could stay clean 6 months & out of jail for that long I would reintroduce her in their life... Not a chance.... was way to long....
Good luck... my prayers are with you.
Darla / Bloggin Mom
It's wonderful to hear so many people are advocating for Baby Bug. You have to feel bad for the parents - I can't imagine my life being so out of control I actually lost custody of my own child. I'm sure they're shell-shocked at finding themselves in the awful place.
That baby girl is so lucky to have you. And yes, I kind of like pink myself these days. Waiting until March to meet my new granddaughter is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
It is amazing how timelines can change in one fell swoop! It is good that the birth parents actually showed up - I've learned so many times they don't even bother. This could be a long journey for you with BB, but it is clear that you are prepared mentally and physically (and spiritually) for the trip. Isn't it comforting to know that God will never give us a challenge we can't handle? To know she was sent to have you and O. and SB as her family-for-now is quite humbling. Thank you God for this miracle!
Wow. What an amazing journey you are on. Baby bug is lucky to have your family and it sounds like her best interests are being looked after.
Wow! I've not been on the computer a great deal lately and just read your posts about Baby Bug! Amazing. It was a very nice gesture for you to bring pictures for the parents. I hope they are able to get their act together - and will pray that if they can't, that she remains safe with those who care for her.
Not that you would weigh and measure them, but I am convinced God will reward every kind unselfish loving thing you do for this child, by giving you one for your own.
God bless you so much for this very important thing you are doing. He will take care of the details.
Your heart is so good. Those pictures were such a gift of love.
Thinking of you......
May God continue to bless you for the love you share with others.
What a learning process you have been through and it is so nice you have gotten to meet the parents. I think knowing more helps you also to know how to pray for this little one.
I pray for you and your family as well...That no matter the outcome that you have the Lord's strength and guidance.
Give the little one a hug for me!
Oh OW, I'm so glad that you have a little darling girl in your house...even if it is just temporary. I'm praying for God's will in the life of little baby bug! I hadn't visited your blog for a couple of weeks, and came today and found that you've got a darlin! :)
Praying for you!
Blessings,
Lori4squaremom
http://lori.scottdomain.com
What a lucky little girl Baby Bug is. She is fortunate to have found a home with you guys. I hope her parents do what they need to get her back, BUT in the mean time she's in the best place possible.
how very generous of you. i have often represented moms and dads who for a variety of reasons , couln't get their life together. your words of kindness went a long way to validate them. sometimes people are quick to judge when young parents aren't able to parent their child. i'm glad you haven't.
wow that is a lot of information to digest! Did you find out for sure if the paternal cousin is the one who has custody of the other 2 kids as well, or was that misinformation too? Its great the parents want to do what needs to be done to take care of their daughter and have her with them again, but if they already had 2 children taken away you would think they learned their lesson already...how many chances do you get you know? well anyway, I think this Chrismtas will be extra special and magical with this new little one in your lives; even though it probably is bittersweet trying not to get TOO terribly attached when you know there is a good possibility she could be returned to her parents. But still, she's being well loved and cared for right now and that is what matters!
Good, more time for you to pray over her, make her feel safe and get her birth weight up. What a blessing you are.
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