One year ago today was a very happy day, indeed.

Labels: adoption, adoption #2, Boo, family

The day we've been waiting for for approximately 2 1/2 years, give or take a month or two, finally arrived!

We recently finalized the adoption of Boo and she is now legally our daughter! Of course, we've considered her a part of our family pretty much from day one but now it's legal. There is no longer any threat of her being taken away from us.

As you all know, this has proven to be a much more difficult journey towards adoption than we expected. We entered into Foster Care training rather naively. We were quite optimistic in the outcome of adoption through the Foster Care system, believing that we'd have a child adopted within a year.

We also believed that we'd be adopting a child from unfit parents that had had their parental rights forcefully terminated by the State. In some ways, perhaps it helped us feel less guilty about wanting to adopt again, because we believed we'd be adopting a child truly in need of a loving home...a child right within our city.

Baby Bug was our first placement and we lost our hearts to her quickly. She was reunited with her parents 8 1/2 months later and, although we supported that decision because we knew how hard they worked to get her back, we grieved A LOT. I still miss her and I had to grieve all over again when her parents chose to end all contact with us a second time.

Our continued journey through the Foster Care system with Boo was very little like we expected. We were lied to by the initial social worker, who told us what she thought we wanted to hear, in order to get Boo placed in our home. It wasn't until I attended the next court hearing, a couple of months after her placement, that I realized how much the social worker had lied and kept information to us.

We tried desperately not to get our hopes up about adopting Boo, as we waited to see how things would pan out with her bio mom who was incarcerated. We waited, and waited, and waited for the judge to make a decision, either way.

We did our best to be "good" foster parents, attending all court hearings, filling out all necessary forms, speaking up inside and outside of the court and advocating for Boo's needs along the way, being careful to follow all guidelines put forth by the foster care agency we were licensed through.

After many months, we got the severance ruling that we had prayed for, due to the instability of Boo's bio mom and her criminal lifestyle. But then, against all odds, the Court of Appeals overturned that ruling on a technicality and threw the case back to the Juvenile Court system and told the new judge to "start over". That's when talks began in earnest of having Boo transferred out of state. It seemed that our state wanted to "wash their hands" of the situation, regardless of what that meant to Boo.

We had to hire our own lawyer to gain "party status" in the case and fight even harder for Boo's rights.

In the end, Boo's bio mom made the difficult decision to admit that she was incapable of offering Boo the stability she needed and deserved and voluntarily severe her parental rights so that we could adopt her. Everyone involved in the case felt that we would've gotten another severance ruling again, even had she not come to this conclusion on her own, but we didn't trust "the system".

The events leading up to Boo's adoption have been nightmarish. We lost a lot of sleep, our marriage was strained, our finances were strained with unexpected legal fees, our family struggled, we doubted ourselves. But, we hung in there, we fought for this precious little girl, and now she's forever an important part of our family!

Boo's Adoption Day was glorious! We had a private adoption ceremony, with the same judge that finalized Snuggle Bug's adoption and the same lawyer too! Many of our family members and very dear friends were there to witness this amazing event. There was much joy and celebration! And there was an unexpected bonus to all of this...Snuggle Bug was a part of it all and Boo's adoption finalization helped him to understand a bit more about his own that took place when he was only 3 months old.

Afterwards, we had a party in a nearby splash park for Boo. It's one of her favorite places to be and she had a grand time! She got an Adoption cake, many thoughtful gifts, lots of hugs and kisses, and many well-wishes.

It was an emotional day for me. It was perfect! There are moments when I still find it hard to believe that we actually made it through to the other side.

Shortly after Boo's finalization, we notified our foster care agency that we were closing our home. Ornozo and I thought long and hard about that decision. It wasn't an easy one to make. But we both feel that it's best to focus on the raising of the two beautiful children that we have been blessed with.

Maybe one day again we'll foster. I'm sure we'll find other ways to help children in need. It's a passion of mine.

Thank you for all that have followed this journey. Your support, encouragement, and prayers have meant the world to Oronzo and I!

Don't think that you've seen the last of me though. I may not blog as often as I used to, but I'll still pop in now and then to discuss issues related to being an adoptive parent. And I hope to hear from you as well!

I'm a bit uncomfortable posting our family picture on here, but if you've been following our journey and you'd like to see one of Boo's adoption day photos, leave me a comment with your email and I'll oblige!

Take care!

Labels: adoption, adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Oronzo

As Boo's adoption finalization date approaches (a bit over a month away now), there's a whole lot of adoption talk going on in our household.

Labels: adoption, adoption #1, adoption #2, Boo, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Snuggle Bug

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, Boo, foster-to-adopt

My hands are shaking as I type this and there are tears welling in my eyes. We got word just now that Boo's bio mom has voluntarily relinquished her parental rights so that we can adopt Boo. Our prayers these past 2 years have finally been answered! Thank you so much to all of you who have stood by us during these difficult times! We are so blessed!

More later. I need to go have a good cry now.

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

We had been given hope that relinquishment paperwork would be signed by Boo's bio mom before the end of last week. To our knowledge, they have not yet been signed.

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

We've made it through to the other side of the mediation conference. It wasn't easy and I felt so apprehensive walking into that room. We had to wait for over 30 minutes before getting Boo's bio mom on the phone (it's tricky getting an inmate to a court ordered conference call, apparently).

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

We still don't have a definitive answer on Boo's case but here's the latest.

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

So, I've been out of commission in the blogger world lately. What can I say, we've been busy on this end.

Labels: adoption #2, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

I've been meaning to update you all on Baby Bug's frustrating situation that I blogged about here and here but I needed some time to cool off and see how things played out. I'm ready now. And while I'm at it, I'll update you on Boo and Snuggle Bug as well, but in separate posts in the very near future. This post will be devoted to Baby Bug.

The short of it...CPS got their way. They are no longer providing any transportation for Baby Bug and Baby Bug was enrolled in a nearby daycare this past Monday. I'm less than thrilled!

Now, for the details (fair warning, this is going to be a long post!).

I will give Baby Bug's CPS worker (and her supervisor) credit for being quite clever. Not only did she successfully maneuver out of transporting entirely for this case, but she also presented the daycare situation to Oronzo in such a way that he couldn't help but be swayed to her way of thinking! I was at work the morning she came to discuss it with him.

Here's how things now work:

1) Baby Bug is enrolled in a nearby daycare. CPS is picking up the tab, entirely. We're not sure if they have her enrolled PT or FT but since we're not paying I guess it doesn't matter.

2) Three days a week, Oronzo (or myself) is responsible for dropping Baby Bug off at daycare by no later than 9 AM. The daycare opens at 7:30 AM so in theory we could drop her off as early as 7:30 AM. That will happen over my dead body. She will arrive at around 8:45 AM-8:55 AM.

3) On those three scheduled days, Baby Bug's parents are responsible for picking Baby Bug up at the daycare no later than 9 AM and they must have her returned to the daycare by 4:30 PM. Oronzo or I have until 6 PM to pick Baby Bug up from daycare. Again, I can assure you she will not be languishing in daycare until 6 PM.

4) I demanded some guidelines of my own in this less than desirable situation. First, I informed the CPS worker that I would be calling the daycare center each morning at 10 AM to make sure that Baby Bug had been picked up by her parents, so that she wouldn't be sitting in there all day, unbeknownst to us if her parents didn't show up. If they hadn't arrived by 10 AM, I told the CPS worker that Oronzo or I would go pick her back up and it was to be understood that her parents had then forfeited their entire day's visit. Second, if Baby Bug's parents were going to be late in dropping her back off at the specified 4:30 PM time, I expected them to call and let the daycare center know so that we could be warned. I made it clear to the CPS worker that if Baby Bug was not there when we arrived to pick her up and her parents hadn't called the daycare center, then we were going to call the CPS hotline, which involves the police going out to her parent's house to retrieve Baby Bug. Baby Bug's parents haven't done anything thus far to lead me to believe that we'd have any problems but I wanted it to be made very clear that if problems began there would be consequences and I needed to make sure that CPS would back me up. I needed to do my best to look after Baby Bug's interests since it seemed as though no one else was doing so! The CPS worker agreed to my stipulations and conveyed them in a letter to the parents.

Although I hate the idea of Baby Bug in daycare, her parents seem to hate it as much as I do and so far this week she's not been in daycare for more than 30 minutes each day! Yes, our tax payer's dollars are being wasted in such a way as this, since CPS (the State) is picking up the daycare tab. It's a joke, really!

We started this on Monday. Oronzo arrived at the daycare with Baby Bug at 8:45 AM and found Baby Bug's mom already there. Not only that, she had been there for an hour waiting! She was so nervous about the chance of being late and so excited at the thought of being allowed to have an all-day visit with her daughter for the first time in four months, that she left their house really early and got to the daycare an hour before Oronzo arrived! What a way to start things off on the right foot. My admiration for Baby Bug's mom increased even more that day! Monday afternoon, she had Baby Bug back at 4:30 PM on the dot and I picked her up on my way home from work at 5 PM. Baby Bug's mom arrived early the next two mornings as well and has been very punctual in returning her.

I feel bad that her parents have been left holding the bag as far as transporting for visits, especially since they have to travel across town, but they don't seem to mind one bit. They are just thrilled to have more time with their daughter.

Baby Bug's visitation with her parents is going to be increasing steadily over time. If this three days per week schedule goes well, after a while it'll be increased to four days, then five. Eventually they'll get some overnight visits and then weekend visits. The ultimate goal, of course, is reunification and her return home to her parents on a full-time basis.

I have such mixed feelings about all of this. On one hand, I'm happy that her parents are getting more time with their daughter and I'm very hopeful that they will continue to do well and do what they have to do to get her back. I really do think this is a good thing.

On the other hand, the more time she spends with her parents, the less time she spends with us. So far, the increased visitation doesn't really cut into my time with Baby Bug because it's mainly while I'm at work. But it won't be long until I see less and less of Baby Bug. I know this case has absolutely nothing to do with me but it's going to be emotionally hard for me to let go of Baby Bug, little by little.

I love this child as if she were my own, knowing full well that she's not. I "know" her and she knows me. Her face lights up like a Christmas tree anytime she hears my voice or sees me walk into a room. I know what each of her cries mean and how to comfort her. I know exactly how to hold her when she's over-tired and needs to get to sleep or if her tummy is hurting her. I love buying her cute little outfits and making her hair bows/clips to match! I love holding her close, rocking her, and surrounding her in song and prayer. I love caring for her and keeping her safe.

Baby Bug's next court date isn't until mid-July and even then it's uncertain as to whether or not the judge will consider Baby Bug's parents ready to get her back but by then she will have been with us for 8 months and I think, if they continue to do so well, her parents will have a very good shot at getting her back at that point in time.

So, our time with Baby Bug is dwindling. My heart aches at the thought of it. But, while she's still with us, I will be the squeaky wheel advocating for her best interests. Obviously I'm not going to win every battle, but I won't go quietly. She deserves the very best and I intend to do everything in my power to see to that while I am able.

That's all for now. I'll update you all on Boo and then Snuggle Bug very soon, so stop back again. As always, your prayers and your support are much appreciated!

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, foster children, fostering

So, in this post I complained that Baby Bug's CPS worker was trying to pressure us into agreeing to covering return transportation for Baby Bug's visits/appointments with her parents, which by the way are currently at 3 times per week. Unfortunately things are only getting worse!

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, foster children, fostering, Oronzo

Ugh! We are so frustrated right now. The CPS worker and CPS Aide assigned to Baby Bug's case are ticking us off!

Since the day Baby Bug's parents received supervised visits 4 months ago, we've had transportation problems!

Although not required in our state, we offered to be responsible for transporting Baby Bug to her visits (45 minute drive each way) in the mornings, as long as CPS would transport her back from her visits. We didn't want to be the type of foster parents that refused to be helpful.

From the beginning, Oronzo would arrive with Baby Bug on time for the supervised visits but the CPS aide assigned to supervise the visits would inevitably show up late, so Oronzo would have to sit around with the kids in the car and wait for her arrival so that he could pass Baby Bug off to her. And even though we'd be given a time that she would be returned back to us, again the CPS aide would show up much later than expected.

The latest is that CPS is trying to pressure us into being responsible for picking Baby Bug up at the end of her visits so that they don't have to. We've told them from day one that this will not work for us, as the return time is always either during nap time for the other two kids or during dinner time and my work schedule changes from week to week so I can't commit to being available either.

As if that weren't bad enough, Oronzo tells me that the visitation times change on a weekly basis. He's looked back at his calendar over the past 4 months and there's not been two straight weeks of the same visitiation schedule. CPS keeps changing it and usually with very short notice! Baby Bug's visits with her parents are increasing in length and frequency as they prepare to eventually transfer her back home so this is a good thing and we want to help where we can but we've got two other children and our work schedules to factor in as well!

And then there are the required monthly visits where CPS comes to our home to check on Baby Bug. Baby Bug's CPS worker has changed the visit for today twice and then didn't show up at the appointed 8:30 AM time. She emailed (not a phone call, an email) Oronzo minutes before the scheduled time to say she couldn't make it and that she'd need to reschedule for today at 1:30 PM. Oronzo is really ticked off, since this isn't the first time she's pulled this on him, and is emailing her back to say she'll have to pick another day because 1:30 PM won't work for him!

I understand that CPS is understaffed and overworked but do they have to be so discourteous to foster parents in their efforts to juggle all of their responsibilities. Their inconsistencies and lack of common courtesy is frustrating!

At least we've had no problems with Boo's CPS worker thus far! I guess that's something.

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, fostering, Oronzo

Last week I posted about how I was leaving on a business trip and stressing about the fact that our foster daughters were going to be placed in respite care.  I wanted to follow up and let you know how it's going.

Oronzo dropped the girls off on Monday afternoon.  He told me that initially Boo seemed un-phased by being at Barb and Jim's house (the respite care providers) again.  But when Oronzo started heading for the door without her, she started to cry.  Barb picked her up and held her on her lap to comfort her as Oronzo said his goodbyes.  Baby Bug didn't protest but she's only 4 1/2 months old so I wouldn't have expected her to.

I've called Barb every day, since leaving for Vegas on Monday, to check on the girls.  Barb told me Boo was anxious most of Monday but on Monday evening she seemed to loosen up a bit and started playing with the toys they had.  She slept through the night that night and has every night since.  Each day Boo has gotten more comfortable with Barb and Jim and now is to the point where she's actually having fun.

Baby Bug has had troubles with her morning naps at Barb and Jim's house, so she's been a bit fussy in the mornings but other than that she's doing fine too.  She started sleeping through the night for us last Wednesday and she's continuing to do this for Barb and Jim.

Barb tells me she's enjoying her time with the girls and she's been so suportive of my phone calls.  She doesn't seem to mind taking the time to chat with me each day and share what the girls are up to.

I'm flying home tomorrow but I won't get in until after the girls are in bed.  I'm tempted to go in, pull Boo out of bed, and to sit and rock with her when I get home.  I've miss holding her (and Baby Bug) in my arms!

In other related news, Oronzo got me a MacBook last month and I've been using it to do video iChats with him and Snuggle Bug while away on this trip.  This is the first time we've done this and Snuggle Bug was a bit confused.  He kept looking at the computer monitor and then our front door, asking, "Mommy home?"  I explained that I was still at work in Las Vegas.  He told Oronzo, "Mommy in puter (computer)!"  For me, it was so wonderful to see his sweet little face and to be able to hear his voice.  I showed him a gift that I got him (a little stuffed, white puppy to add to his puppy collection) and he was excited to see that!

I really love my new MacBook!  It's got a built in webcam and microphone and I'm amazed at all the neat features that this laptop has (iPhoto, iTunes, iCalendar, neat email templates, etc) and I love how integrated all the software applications are.  Having been a Windows PC user all my life, I do feel a bit drunk trying to maneuver around this Mac but I'm learning fairly quickly and I'm loving it!  And any laptop that allows me to easily see my little boy while I'm away from home gets an A+ in my book!

I can't wait to get home tomorrow!

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, Boo, foster children, fostering, Oronzo, product review, Snuggle Bug

Remember how I said I was angry on Boo's behalf? Well, the anger has simmered down a bit, in large part because there's not a lot I can do (about the lack of pictures during her first 12 months of life). I guess in the grand scheme of things, if we get to keep her, missing 12 months of pictures won't be so bad. We'll be able to make up for it over the years.

We started this weekend by throwing Boo a 1st birthday party. We took lots of pictures as she mashed her face and fingers into her birthday cake and smeared frosting all over her cheeks, nose, and in her hair. It did my heart good to see her enjoyment over this birthday cake. She was a bit confused by the #1 candle and our group of family/friends that sang her Happy Birthday and she had no idea what to do with her wrapped presents, but she loved that cake!

I had attached a picture of Boo playing with her birthday toys because I couldn't resist showing you how cute she is but now it's been removed. If you really want to see it, leave me a comment and I'll email it to you. If you saw the picture, you might have noticed that she had help opening her presents. Snuggle Bug had more fun with that part than she did.

Speaking of Snuggle Bug, the poor little guy is having a tougher time adjusting to Boo's presence in our home than he did with Baby Bug's addition. Now he has a little one who's mobile and curious and who likes to come play with whatever he's playing with. We can't help but smile when he says, "No honey, not nice!" as she attempts to grab things from him. He's also said, "MY mommy!" a couple of times when she's attempted to come share my lap. This weekend was also rough with potty training efforts. Snuggle Bug has been doing so well with that (except for #2, we're still working on that) but this weekend there were a lot of accidents. I'm sure it was in large part due to the changes our family is going through.

We're doing our best to reassure Snuggle Bug of his place in our family by carving out special one-on-one time with him. Oronzo took him for a nice long bike ride this past weekend while I watched the girls at home. Snuggle Bug gets my undivided attention at bedtime as we read lots of books, sing songs, say prayers, and get ready for bed. And we're obliging him when he asks to sit in our laps and be cuddled more frequently than usual and giving him lots of hugs and kisses.

Thankfully, we've seen more than just jealousy from Snuggle Bug. We've been pleased as we've watched moments where he'll share with Boo without prompting and he'll display affection towards her and play with her.

I think over time things will be all right if we get to keep Boo. It's just going to be an adjustment. Boo's next court appointment is April 8th. That's when we'll find out whether or not the judge will grant severance.

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, expanding our family, family, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Snuggle Bug

First of all, we get to keep Boo. There will be no sending her back to her previous foster home only to have her transitioned back into our home a few days later. Thank goodness for that!

Yesterday Boo's previous foster mom brought over the rest of her stuff. It was nice of her to do this and I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions while she was here. Boo perked up when she saw her and crawled into her arms and played there.

As nice as this foster mom was, I'm still angry on Boo's behalf about a couple of things.

1) For the poor shape of her clothes. The previous foster mom brought over a grocery bag of her clothes and a couple of nice two piece outfits. The outfits were the only really nice things. Most of the other clothes she left us were stained or tattered. Some were "okay" but the majority of them were not. I couldn't help but wonder how Boo was dressed each day, given the poor condition of the clothes that were delivered to us. There's no need for that! Foster parents get a clothing allowance for goodness sakes! It's not much but if you're careful in where you shop you can get nice stuff for inexpensive prices. She deserves better and now that she's with us she'll get nicer clothes! We already went out and bought her a few nice sleepers, an Easter dress, a couple of shirts and a couple of pants. We may or may not get a clothing allowance for her, it depends on whether the previous foster mom already spent Boo's allotted amount for the first half of this year. I don't care. We'll be buying her more clothes to fill out her wardrobe regardless! I was extremely disappointed in this foster mom for not keeping her clothes in better shape. I understand that little ones spit up and get food all over their clothes at mealtimes but that's what Spray 'n Wash if for!

2) For the lack of baby pictures. This previous foster mom has had Boo in her care since last July, which means she would've been 5 months old. I specifically asked if we could have a copy of any pictures they might have taken of her since she was placed with their family. I even offered to pay for these copies. Yesterday, this foster mom brought over her digital camera and allowed us to transfer over 8 pictures of Boo. It was clear that they were pictures taken fairly recently, like probably within the last week or so. She had NO baby pictures to give us. How hard is it to pick up a camera and snap a few pictures of a baby, foster kid or not, and get them developed? How could a mother, foster mother or otherwise, fail to understand how important those baby pictures might be to a child as they get older?! That's a part of Boo's history that she'll never have and there's no way I can get that back for her. It's yet another thing she's lost as a result of being placed in the foster care system. I seriously doubt we'll get any pictures from her parents either as they haven't seen her since birth. She was given to her aunt at birth who then had her taken away and put into foster care four months later.

The lack of clothes I can fix. The lack of pictures I can not and it breaks my heart. Her earliest pictures will be at 1 year old. How sad is that? I can't help but feel angry at this previous foster mom for not making at least SOME effort in taking pictures of Boo as a baby.

Well, thanks for letting me vent. I think it helps to get that off my chest.

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, expanding our family, family, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

Yesterday afternoon I got to meet Boo for the first time, at the airport as Oronzo was picking us up.

I watched as Oronzo walked up to us, holding a little girl with a full head of silky brown hair. Her face was somber and inquisitive.

Snuggle Bug looked up and said, "Daddy has another baby!" I had to laugh at that! He didn't seem to phased at this additional baby, he was just stating the obvious.

Before I barely got the words, "Hi!" out of my mouth, Oronzo handed Boo over to me so that he could sweep Snuggle Bug up for a big bear hug. Boo didn't fuss at being passed over to me, she just looked me over intently and I did the same to her.

Boo is a beautiful little girl. She has shoulder length hair that is thick, soft, and wavy. Her bangs are a bit long over her dark brown eyes. Her skin is creamy and fair. She has a pretty bow shaped mouth and a delicate nose. It's obvious that she's been well taken care of because she's a solid 12-month old.

I got to spend the rest of the day yesterday getting to know Boo. She's certainly quiet and clingy but I don't blame her. She was removed from the only family she's known for the last 7 months. I'm surprised she wasn't more agitated. She doesn't like to be set down on the floor, it makes her cry, but if we set her on our bed or on the couch, she's okay with that. She just wants to keep one of us within eye-sight.

Despite her shyness, we had a few happy moments with Boo yesterday. She smiled and laughed out loud as she watched Oronzo and Snuggle Bug tickling each other and giggling together. She pretty much laughed each time she heard Snuggle Bug laugh. She also chattered away to Baby Bug when we had the three kids strapped in their car seats in the back seat. Oronzo said that's the most he's heard her laugh or chatter since she arrived at our house. Apparently having other little ones around her is good for her.

Boo is a good little eater. She doesn't appear to be picky about what she eats and Oronzo says she can eat more than Snuggle Bug at times! She ate quite a bit at dinner last night.

Bath time last night was interesting. Juggling 3 kids' bath, storytime, cuddling, and bedtime was a bit of a challenge but between the two of us Oronzo and I got it done. At one point, while Oronzo was finishing Snuggle Bug's bath, I was holding Boo and Baby Bug at the same time in our leather rocker recliner. They both snuggled up to me and let me rock and sing to them. It was very sweet.

Boo went to bed last night with no objections. Oronzo said she's the easiest baby in that respect. If you put her in her crib with a blankie for a nap or bedtime, she'll not fuss a bit. She just goes to sleep. I don't think I've ever had a child that doesn't fuss at least a bit at having to go to bed, so I'm not sure what to think of that. I checked on her a few times throughout the night and she appeared to be doing fine.

I found out yesterday that there's a chance we may have to send Boo back to her most current foster family. We weren't supposed to get her this soon, she came earlier because the foster mom requested respite care for her. That respite care was only approved by CPS through Monday and Oronzo got a call from our agency social worker telling us that she'd have to go back to the foster family until her CPS case worker could get a transfer approved.

Oronzo told our agency worker that Boo is doing fairly well at our house and he thought it might be more confusing to go back her previous foster family, only to be sent back to us within a few days. Oronzo asked if she could just be transferred directly to us. Our agency worker said that wasn't up to her and since Monday was a government holiday, the CPS case worker wasn't in to discuss it with. Oronzo got off the phone with the our agency worker believing that he'd have to return Boo that day.

10 minutes later, Oronzo got a call from Boo's previous foster mom. She sounded quite distraught at hearing Boo would be coming back when she thought we'd get to keep her. She said she wasn't feeling well and didn't think she could handle taking her back. Oronzo told her it was out of his hands and suggested that she call our agency worker to discuss it with her, since Boo's CPS worker wasn't available. Apparently she did just that because our agency worker called back and told Oronzo she was going to extend the respite care through Wednesday in the hopes that she could get a hold of Boo's CPS worker before then.

Apparently Boo's CPS worker is okay with her staying with us, but she has to get Boo's lawyer to approve of this immediate transition and she's not 100% convinced that the lawyer will buy off on it. So, there's still a chance that Boo will be sent back to her previous foster family, despite the fact that the foster mom seems to be under a lot of emotional stress right now (at least that's what Oronzo can tell from the few conversations he's had with her) and would rather not get her back.

I hope Boo isn't sent back, she's been traumatized enough without being bounced back and forth even further. She's had 4 moves in her 12 months of life. I just want her to be able to settle in to our family so that we can love her and help her to trust those around her. She's very timid and scared right now.

Today Oronzo will have three small kids to care for while I'm at work (a 3 year old, a 12 month old, and a 3 1/2 month old). This is the most he's ever had at one time and he's wondering how it'll go. It won't be easy, but I'm confident he'll handle it with patience and love as he always does. He's so wonderful with children!

Wish us luck today as we wait to hear back from Boo's lawyer as to whether or not her case can be immediately transferred to us so she can stay.

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, Boo, expanding our family, family, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Oronzo, Snuggle Bug, stay-at-home daddy

In my last adoption post I mentioned that we were chosen to get a 12-month old little girl. We thought having her moved into our home would be a gradual process but it hasn't quite worked out that way!

I'm currently in KC, visiting my sister and the rest my side of the family (they drove in from NE to see us). I have Snuggle Bug and Baby Bug with me. Oronzo stayed at home and had intended to enjoy some quiet at home but it wasn't meant to be.

Last Friday he got a call from our agency social worker asking him if he would consider taking Boo that evening, rather than waiting until this week. Apparently her foster parents were having relatives coming in from out of town and wanted to arrange respite care for her. Oronzo gave up his plans and agreed to take her.

Boo has been in our home for 3 days now and Oronzo says that she's doing pretty good so far. She's quiet and a bit clingy, but she doesn't seem overly distraught. Poor little one has probably gotten used to expecting change.

Oronzo's emailing me pictures of her and she's adorable! I can't wait to meet her tomorrow! I hope she isn't too overwhelmed when the three of us arrive back home!

Labels: adoption #2, book review, expanding our family, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

In about 3 hours we will have a CPS worker and two agency social workers in our home to discuss the fate of a 10-month old little girl.

I didn't sleep well last night. I tossed and turned as I worried about all sorts of things with this upcoming meeting.

Will we be the family chosen to get her?

Will we be allowed to adopt her if we are chosen?

Will she settle in to our home and our family routine okay or will she be quite anxious with being separated from the only family she's known for the past 7 months?

Can we really handling caring for a 3-year old, a 10-month old, and a 3-month old and give each of them the love and attention that they need?

Can we believe what our agency is being told by CPS, that this little girl is developmentally on target, or are we being told what we want to hear?

What's the story with her parents? Why is CPS moving towards severance?

What kind of interaction will we be expected to have with the parents?

These thoughts and more are swirling through my head, making me nervous and a bit fearful about this upcoming meeting.

I pray that the Lord will give us the wisdom to ask the right questions and the courage to accept this little girl into our hearts and homes. I pray that he will continue to bless our family and help us to do our very best by all of the children that enter our home, for whatever amount of time they are with us.

UPDATED INFO

We're taking her!

The meeting this morning went well and CPS was pleased with our family. We learned quite a bit of information today. I can't share all of it with you but I will share some:

1) The "baby" is not 10 months old, she's 12 months. In fact, she turned a year old yesterday. I'm bummed that we missed her first birthday! I'm not sure why we were told she was 10 months old, obviously there was some disconnect in communication somewhere, but it doesn't matter.

2) We saw a picture of her and she's as cute as a button! She's fair with lots of dark hair and healthy looking. I think I'll call her "Boo" on my blog because she looks a bit like Boo from Monster's Inc.

3) She's said to be developmentally on target (crawling, cruising but not quite walking, babbling, etc.) but only time will tell if that's truly the case.

4) One of her parents is incarcerated in another state (not due to be released until late fall of this year, at earliest). Sorry, sharing details as to why is not allowed. The other parent was here illegally and was deported to another country last year. CPS has not been able to reach this parent since.

5) Boo has been in foster care since last summer and, given the circumstances of her parents, CPS is going to ask the judge to sever parental rights in her next court date this April. There is no known extended family qualified to take Boo. There has been attempts to have "acquaintances" take her in as a foster child in the state that her one parent is incarcerated in, but so far those attempts have failed for various reasons. CPS is eager to have Boo moved into a foster-to-adopt home so that when they go to court they can tell the judge that she's in with a family that will adopt her.

6) IF the judge agrees with a severance of parental rights plan, then a court date would be set to accomplish that. That court date would probably happen in May. We've been told that it's possible that the incarcerated parent will appeal severance and that would mean yet another court date probably in July. If, in the end, parental rights are severed, they would be severed for both parents at the same time. The parent that is out of the country would be considered to have abandoned Boo. This parent has never met Boo.

7) There's a chance that the judge will mandate that Boo remain in foster care until the incarcerated parent is released and has time to work a case plan, but CPS doesn't want that to happen because that means she will have been in foster care for about 2 years before anything is decided. CPS doesn't always get their way. We have to accept that things could go this way.

We're leaving on a family trip tomorrow afternoon so we won't actually meet the current foster family and start transitioning Boo into our home until the middle of next week. I'm okay with that. I need a bit time to get comfortable with the fact that our life is about to become very chaotic with taking care of 3 little ones!

Wish us luck!

Labels: adoption #2, Boo, expanding our family, family, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering

I wanted to let you know that our interview with the CPS case worker (for the 10-month old little girl) was re-scheduled for tomorrow at 9:30 AM so if you’re interested in hearing the results of that meeting, check back late morning tomorrow.

Now, on to a totally unrelated topic…

We got a new double stroller this past weekend and we love it! It’s a Combi 2008 Twin Sport 2 (ours is brick red and ember).

Originally we had planned on getting a tandem double stroller, rather than a side-by-side double stroller because we were worried that a side-by-side would be too wide to maneuver around in stores and such. What we found is that the tandem stroller was too long to fit in the trunk of our 2007 Jeep Compass!

The thing that sold us on this Combi stroller is the compact tri-fold feature (it collapses flat and then you can fold it in half from there) and the fact that once it’s folded it’s self-standing. It fits in our Jeep Compass with plenty of room to spare. It may even fit in the trunk of my compact car; I just haven’t tried it yet. Amazingly, our side-by-side stroller fits through all the doorways and aisles of our favorite stores with no problems. And I love how lightweight this stroller is!

Snuggle Bug and Baby Bug seems to find the stroller comfy. We’ve taken them on two long walks so far and neither complained. Actually, Baby Bug gave her endorsement by falling asleep in the stroller on one of those walks.

After searching Babies R Us and not finding what we liked we found this brand at a local specialty baby store here in our city. But I noticed on the Combi website that they’re offering free shipping on all strollers now through 29 February so if you’re interested in one, you can order it online. Check it out!

By the way, I was not solicited to post this product review. I just love our stroller so much that I wanted to share!

Labels: adoption #2, baby products, product review