Monday, April 02, 2007
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
It's been too long since I've posted about our considerations for adopting a second child. Time for an update!
Last November I wrote about our research into adopting through the State (wow, I can't believe that was 5 months ago)! I decided not to decide at that time because I was terrified of the emotional risks involved with the foster-to-adopt program.
I've been praying a lot and decided I wasn't quite ready to give up on the idea of adopting through the State, despite the emotional risks involved.
Oronzo and I went to a group orientation through an agency contracted by the State. The orientation left me feeling unsettled and with more doubts. So, in February, we scheduled a one-on-one meeting with the Foster Care Coordinator. Let me just say that we walked out of that meeting realizing that this agency was not the one we would go through if we chose this route for our second adoption. The man we interacted with was horrible!
Upon the advice of a close friend of ours, who's adopted through the State herself, we looked into another State contracted agency. What a world of difference! Our one-on-one meeting with this next Foster-to-Adopt Coordinator was so much better. She was kind, compassionate, knowledgeable, and encouraging. The agency itself seemed so much "friendlier" and professional than the previous one that we had explored.
I learned some interesting facts during this orientation last week. I'd like to share what I learned, for those of you also considering adopting through the State.
1. We would be required to foster for a minimum of 240 hours before we could even be placed with a child that is considered on the road to adoption through the foster-to-adopt program. We were told that we could meet this 240 hour (10 day) requirement through emergency placement fostering or through offering respite fostering for foster parents that need to go in for surgery or go out of state and can't take their foster children with them.
2. The State requires that there's at least 1 year's age difference between each child in your home. So, we would only be placed with children 1 year or younger or 3 years and older, since Snuggle Bug is 2 years old. We want Snuggle Bug to remain the eldest, so the child would have to be a year or younger.
3. The agency gave us some statistics. 60%-65% of all children that come in to the system are reunited with their biological families. Of the 35%-40% that are allowed to be adopted, 70% of those children are adopted by their foster families. The agency also explained that the State gives biological parents 12-15 months to meet their requirements and to get their children back. And, according to this agency, it's not uncommon for the biological parents to wait until the 14 1/2 month to suddenly get a job, get clean, and get back on track. When that happens, the State may choose to extend the time that the parent has to get it together another 6 months or so. That means is that it can be 12-21 months before it's known if TPR happens. But sometimes, it's much quicker than that.
4. It was explained to us that once TPR has happened and the child is available for adoption, their case goes to another agency here in town that deals only with State adoptions. This agency takes all the children available for adoption, looks at all the foster-to-adopt and adoption-only parents and makes a selection based on numerous criteria.
We haven't made a concrete decision yet (I know, I know, when will we ever?) because Oronzo wants to look into one more agency for adoption only purposes (no foster care). I've got a call out to this agency and I'm waiting to hear back.
I also have a meeting with that friend of a friend, Jessica, who's a mid-wife here in town. We've kept in touch over the phone, but we've never actually met in person because both our schedules are just so busy! We're going to try to meet on Friday, 4/13, and she's requested that I give her a photo scrapbook of our family so she can have that on hand to share when appropriate. She said that despite the fact that we haven't met, she still has my contact information on her work clipboard and will call if she hears of anything promising.
I'm hoping we decide on something soon! I'm tired of being undecided.
Your prayers would be much appreciated!
Last November I wrote about our research into adopting through the State (wow, I can't believe that was 5 months ago)! I decided not to decide at that time because I was terrified of the emotional risks involved with the foster-to-adopt program.
I've been praying a lot and decided I wasn't quite ready to give up on the idea of adopting through the State, despite the emotional risks involved.
Oronzo and I went to a group orientation through an agency contracted by the State. The orientation left me feeling unsettled and with more doubts. So, in February, we scheduled a one-on-one meeting with the Foster Care Coordinator. Let me just say that we walked out of that meeting realizing that this agency was not the one we would go through if we chose this route for our second adoption. The man we interacted with was horrible!
Upon the advice of a close friend of ours, who's adopted through the State herself, we looked into another State contracted agency. What a world of difference! Our one-on-one meeting with this next Foster-to-Adopt Coordinator was so much better. She was kind, compassionate, knowledgeable, and encouraging. The agency itself seemed so much "friendlier" and professional than the previous one that we had explored.
I learned some interesting facts during this orientation last week. I'd like to share what I learned, for those of you also considering adopting through the State.
1. We would be required to foster for a minimum of 240 hours before we could even be placed with a child that is considered on the road to adoption through the foster-to-adopt program. We were told that we could meet this 240 hour (10 day) requirement through emergency placement fostering or through offering respite fostering for foster parents that need to go in for surgery or go out of state and can't take their foster children with them.
2. The State requires that there's at least 1 year's age difference between each child in your home. So, we would only be placed with children 1 year or younger or 3 years and older, since Snuggle Bug is 2 years old. We want Snuggle Bug to remain the eldest, so the child would have to be a year or younger.
3. The agency gave us some statistics. 60%-65% of all children that come in to the system are reunited with their biological families. Of the 35%-40% that are allowed to be adopted, 70% of those children are adopted by their foster families. The agency also explained that the State gives biological parents 12-15 months to meet their requirements and to get their children back. And, according to this agency, it's not uncommon for the biological parents to wait until the 14 1/2 month to suddenly get a job, get clean, and get back on track. When that happens, the State may choose to extend the time that the parent has to get it together another 6 months or so. That means is that it can be 12-21 months before it's known if TPR happens. But sometimes, it's much quicker than that.
4. It was explained to us that once TPR has happened and the child is available for adoption, their case goes to another agency here in town that deals only with State adoptions. This agency takes all the children available for adoption, looks at all the foster-to-adopt and adoption-only parents and makes a selection based on numerous criteria.
We haven't made a concrete decision yet (I know, I know, when will we ever?) because Oronzo wants to look into one more agency for adoption only purposes (no foster care). I've got a call out to this agency and I'm waiting to hear back.
I also have a meeting with that friend of a friend, Jessica, who's a mid-wife here in town. We've kept in touch over the phone, but we've never actually met in person because both our schedules are just so busy! We're going to try to meet on Friday, 4/13, and she's requested that I give her a photo scrapbook of our family so she can have that on hand to share when appropriate. She said that despite the fact that we haven't met, she still has my contact information on her work clipboard and will call if she hears of anything promising.
I'm hoping we decide on something soon! I'm tired of being undecided.
Your prayers would be much appreciated!
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering
18 Comments:
I will be praying with you about the adoption! The Lord will lead you to the right agency and child!
God Bless!
I will say a prayer for you. What a big decision for your family. I pray that it will be easy for you to recognize the path that is the best!
Hi, I found you at the foster parents website. My username there is basil. Check out my blog if you need info on foster/adopt from the state. I didn't want to post the link on the website, because afraid cw's may be reading
Just prayed that you agonize over your decision and, when the agony is over, you feel contented with what you've decided to do.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
Oh, best wishes on adding to your family!
Dear Overwhelmed,
I felt like I was reading my own experience! We, also, have prayed about adopting through our state agency (we live in AR) and had a HORRIBLE experience during that first phone call. It was only God's encouragement that got me back on the internet searching again. I don't know where you live, but Adopt US Kids was a big help as we tried to go forward. They are nation wide and kind of like a case management agency. So, they call us to make sure the local agency is doing what it should be doing. Our case manager is wonderful. We have been through the orientation and are praying about when to schedule our first in-home assessment. It's such a big decision. As I pray for my own family, I will remember yours also.
Teresa Jones
I will be praying for you as you make this difficult but exciting decision.
Many blessings to you this week!
I'll definitely be praying for God's direction for your decision. He definitely know who your next child will be and how to get you together. ;-)
Wow that does sound like a huge emotional commitment, however it will work out if it is suppose to!
Sending positive vibes your way!
Sounds like good info you received. I will be sending up prayers for you!
Teresa, I checked out your blogs and I'm sad that I can't post a comment (especially on your "The Possibility" blog) or send you an email. Would you be so kind as to send me your email address?
I'm praying for your family as you work on the decision. Praying for the sweet child who will join your family too.
Oh wow! This sounds very interesting and it sounds like you are much happier after meeting with this agency! =) I am keeping my fingers crossed and my prayers going for you and the family. I think any children will be incredibly lucky to be placed with you and Oronzo as parents (foster or otherwise!). I'll be thinking of you!
Wow, this is a huge decision you are facing. I'll be thinking of you and praying for guidance for you.
You'll be in our prayers for sure. We just went through a horrible failed match this weekend. And we too are wondering what our next step should be.
God Bless
You guys will be in my prayers. I am sure you will come to the right decision. Very interesting facts in your state. I always tell people, you have to find the agency that you feel the most comfortable.
So many decisions! At least you haven't closed any doors after visiting that first agency and gave it another shot w/a different agency - leaving yourselves the door open to the possibility of a state foster-to-adopt program. (I'm sure that didn't make any sense, but I'm medicated so what can I say?!) LOL Just praying for you guys to be able to make the right decision for your family and that things start happening for you!
I want you to know that I truly believe that there is a little spirit out there that was meant to be yours.
It will happen. We'll keep praying for you guys!
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