Monday, December 18, 2006
Adoption #2- The lead didn't pan out.
Well, it's official. We're walking away from the adoption lead that we were given earlier this month. If you remember, I wrote about it in my We've got a lead! and my Uncertain about our lead posts.
We got an email last Friday from the lawyer that we had hoped to hire but couldn't because he was considering representing the expectant mother (in our state it's required that each party have their own legal representation and I think that's a good thing). The lawyer stated that he was accepting the expectant mother's case and he laid out the details of the situations surrounding the adoption plan and the expenses that we would be expected to pay, should we proceed.
Bottom line, there were just too many red flags or issues that made us uncomfortable. If it were one or maybe two things we might have taken the chance and hoped for the best, but in this case there were several. So, we decided to say, "No, thank you."
I felt a bit nauseous when I called and told Jessica, the midwife, that we had done a lot of soul searching and discussion but had come to the conclusion that this just wasn't the right situation for us. It especially hit home then that we wouldn't be "expecting" a baby in Feb/Mar as we had secretly hoped.
Jessica completely understood and confessed that had she been in my shoes, she and her husband probably would've made the same decision for the same reasons. She assured me that she would keep looking for us and asked me to give her a photo scrapbook when we met. We're planning to meet in person after the holidays.
So, thank you for all of your prayers on this one. I do appreciate it. I'm so thankful that, since we're already parenting Snuggle Bug, we feel as though it's okay to take our time and choose wisely for our second adoption. It don't feel such a franticness to get matched this second time around. Does that make sense? I'm still hopeful that our next child will find his/her way to us when the time is right.
Now, I have to email the lawyer back to tell him of our decision. Hitting that "send" button will not be easy.
We got an email last Friday from the lawyer that we had hoped to hire but couldn't because he was considering representing the expectant mother (in our state it's required that each party have their own legal representation and I think that's a good thing). The lawyer stated that he was accepting the expectant mother's case and he laid out the details of the situations surrounding the adoption plan and the expenses that we would be expected to pay, should we proceed.
Bottom line, there were just too many red flags or issues that made us uncomfortable. If it were one or maybe two things we might have taken the chance and hoped for the best, but in this case there were several. So, we decided to say, "No, thank you."
I felt a bit nauseous when I called and told Jessica, the midwife, that we had done a lot of soul searching and discussion but had come to the conclusion that this just wasn't the right situation for us. It especially hit home then that we wouldn't be "expecting" a baby in Feb/Mar as we had secretly hoped.
Jessica completely understood and confessed that had she been in my shoes, she and her husband probably would've made the same decision for the same reasons. She assured me that she would keep looking for us and asked me to give her a photo scrapbook when we met. We're planning to meet in person after the holidays.
So, thank you for all of your prayers on this one. I do appreciate it. I'm so thankful that, since we're already parenting Snuggle Bug, we feel as though it's okay to take our time and choose wisely for our second adoption. It don't feel such a franticness to get matched this second time around. Does that make sense? I'm still hopeful that our next child will find his/her way to us when the time is right.
Now, I have to email the lawyer back to tell him of our decision. Hitting that "send" button will not be easy.
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, baby, family, parenting
14 Comments:
I am SO sorry. I know how much you want this second child to join your family and I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision for either of you!! You will be in my thoughts and I'll be praying for another lead for you soon.
I'm sorry that it didn't work out. I'm sure that you made the best decision for all involved. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you hit that send button and will contiue to be with you in hopes that your prayers will be answered soon.
HUGS!
HUGS!
HUGS!
Even though it was not the right one it still sucks.
HUGS!
Totally rooting for your family!
HUGS!
I'm so sorry - I know you are feeling very disappointed right now. I am praying that another lead comes along for you soon.
Glad you have made a decision that feels as right as you could expect it to feel.
I'm so sorry but if there were many "red" issues you made the right decision. I'm sure you will have a new opportunity soon. Best wishes.
You have done well to listen to the red flags as much as you wanted another child. I hope you and your husband have peace about this and that another another opportunity will be given soon that will be perfect.
Prayers works wonders in these (and all situations). Let God lead you and you will never go wrong! :)
Oh I am soooo sorry this lead didn't pan out for you guys! I was praying this would be it for you guys. I know it probably doesn't make it any easier, but hopefully it gave you some peace and comfort knowing the midwife said she would have made the same decision with those circumstances. At least you know it wasn't just you guys who were worried about the red flags. Will continue to pray that you get another lead soon!
Oh dear, I am SO sorry that this did not work out for you.
I do believe, however, that everything happens for a reason.
The Universe has it's plan for you and your family. I am certain of it!
I'm so sorry that this wasn't IT. At the same time, I'm impressed with how thoughtful and careful you are being about these huge decisions and I just know that you'll find the right situation for number #2-- soon, I hope!
I am sorry for your disappointment but I am sure you did the right thing. It is better to trust your judgement and wait for the right child. Blessings...
I know this had to be very hard for you, but you have to watch those red flags. I am sure something else will work out.
Just catching up. I'm sure that wasn't easy, but I'm also sure you did the right thing.
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