Thursday, December 07, 2006
Adoption #2- Uncertain about our lead.
Thank you all who left such supportive comments on my Adoption #2- We've got a lead! post. It's hard to express how much your encouragement and prayers mean to me.

So, I can't get into a lot of detail about this lead that we have but I need to share at least a couple of points to explain our uncertainty of it all.

1) The expectant mother has no medical insurance and does not qualify for assistance of any kind. We'd be required to pay all her medical expenses (pre-natal, hospital bills for her and the baby for the birth, etc.).

2) The clinic that she went to contacted the lawyer that we would've liked to use (the best one in our state) and he's meeting this expectant mother next week. If he accepts her case and represents her, then we can't use him. We'll have to start from scratch and find a new lawyer.

3) The baby's father's whereabouts are unknown. He doesn't know about the baby or the adoption plan.

I'm not certain that we can afford to pay all medical expenses in this scenario. I have no problem with her needing them paid, I just don't know that we're the couple that can do that. Even if she has a perfectly healthy delivery, the bills can be high with no insurance coverage. And if there are any complications, it could skyrocket way out of hand.

I'm a bit thrown through a loop that we wouldn't be able to hire the lawyer that we wanted. He did an excellent job for us and we would've felt safe using him again. I wouldn't even know where to begin to find another one. He's the best in the entire state, no kidding. It'd feel weird to have him on the other side of the fence, so to speak. At least I'd be comforted knowing that the expectant mother would have the best legal representation, looking out for her best interests. I'm just not sure where that leaves us.

I'm nervous about the wildcard of the baby's father's whereabouts being unknown. That's an added complication that makes me uncomfortable.

So, where does this leave us? Waiting. We're waiting until next week when the lawyer we wanted to hire meets with the expectant mother to get more details. We're waiting to find out what kind of living, legal, and counseling expenses, in addition to the medical expenses we'd be asked to pay for her.

On a positive note, this expectant mother has expressed an interested in meeting with us before the baby's birth so we'd have the opportunity to get to know her a bit, which is important to me for the sake of the child.

We haven't said no to this situation, but I can honestly say that I'm not getting a good feeling from all the factors involved.

Your continued prayers would be much appreciated!

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8:14 AM

At 9:22 AM, Blogger Karla said...

Oh, OW. Waiting is the hardest part.
You're all in my prayers.
Keep us updated...

At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

More prayers coming your way. I know it's not easy to wait, but God will take care of everything. Of that, I am certain. {{{ hugs }}} to you !

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Becca said...

I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I do believe that if God means it to be that He will find a way to make it happen for you. I am keeping all my faith in you. God Bless.

At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Laura said...

If there is one thing I don't like to do is "waiting". Keep your faith. You are in my thought. All the best.

At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I honestly understand the concern about paying ALL the medical bills.

I had full medical insurance and the agreement was that any bills that werent covered, Baby M's parents would pay for. Due to the emergency C-section and multiple hospital stays because of the placenta previa, the uncovered portion was over $7,000.

Not to scare you....but I understand how expenisve and your hesitation and I dont blame you. Praying that the right expectant mother and baby come your way.

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous chelle said...

oh wow! Lots to consider! Waiting is so hard ... I get waiting. HUGS!!! I am in awe that a woman in need cannot get health insurance. That is so sad.

We are so rooting for you!

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Brony said...

Trust in what you are feeling.
Prayers and hugs your way.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger Dawn and Joe De Lorenzo said...

I will surely keep you in my prayers! I would be most uncomfortable with the biological father not knowing of the pregancy. Listen to your heart and mommy instincts.


At 7:43 PM, Anonymous Erin said...

Very hard to know what to do. And yes, medical bills are expensive! What about Medicaid? Here in MI, there are programs for expectant women and children, even if the income is too high for regular Medicaid.

I'll be thinking of you and continued prayers.

At 8:41 PM, Blogger Barb said...

I'm so sorry to hear about these new developments. The fact that the father doesn't even know about the baby would worry me more than anything else although the expense is certainly a big factor, too.

I know you're probably on edge right now but I hope you find a little peace until the lawyer figures out what's going on.

At 8:45 PM, Blogger DeAnna said...

Wow -- that would be alot to think about. I know medical bills can be rather expensive, I'm surprised as everyone else said, that she can't get some type of coverage. I'm a little confused about the lawyer thing as well -- here and with both of our girls adoptions, we had one attorney for both of us, but I guess every situation is different. I will pray for you, God will give you a peace about what to do. Trust Him, He'll bring you YOUR child, even if this isn't the situation for you.

At 10:38 PM, Blogger PastorMac's Ann said...

Wow, that's rough. Will keep praying.

At 6:42 AM, Anonymous mia said...

Unsolicited advice-gotta love it huh? lol If it were me I would stipulate that the father be located, contacted and notified prior to signing anything with the mother. I would also ask this mother face to face (just you and her) if she would keep her baby if her financial situation were different. If her answer is yes I would reconsider going in this direction.

At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you and this situation!

At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for you and this situation!

At 8:48 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Oh how frustrating!! All of those unknown factors would make me nervous too!

If she's gone this far into her pregnancy without being insured - and if she doesn't find adoptive parents before the baby is born - this baby will be born regardless if she has insurance or not. I guess I don't understand, or think it's fair, that you would have to pick up the medical payments for the rest of her pregnancy and delivery.

Of course you have my continued prayers!

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OW - Just a bit of advice from our adoption experience. We were told that any unmarried mother qualifies for medicaid regardless of income. Also, you might ask your attorney if he has been put in this situation before - representing the BM and the potential adoptive couple. He may have someone he teamed up with to ensure proper representation of both. Also, when it comes to paying medical bills...inquire if you pay in full if you will get a discount. We had to pay the majority of Patrick's and his BM bills. We got 50% of his hosp bill, and 20% off her pre-natal bill. His BM had out of state medicaid so it wasn't accepted by all of the medical professionals involved.

Good luck! BTW - I love follwing your blog. You, your family and the potential BM will be in our prayers - LeAnna

At 1:59 PM, Blogger lightshines said...

Praying for you!

At 4:31 AM, Anonymous Mieneke said...

I really hope that things work out for you. You seem to be on the right track. Keep the faith.

Love and light,



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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

Adoption #2- We've got a lead!
Getting into the spirit of Christmas
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Grandma's sponge cake...
So, how was your Thanksgiving?!
WFMW (toddler healthy eating techniques)
We're in Nebraska
Heading home for Thanksgiving!
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Parmesan Bow-Tie Skil...
WFMW (reindeer puppet)
200th Post & more Adoption #2 thoughts

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