Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, Boo, foster-to-adopt

The day has finally arrived! We're officially licensed for foster-to-adopt! After all the delays and frustrations, we've made it!

Looking back over our timeline, I see that we attended the agency on 30 March and it's now 8 November. So, it took us 7 months and a week to jump through all the state hoops to get licensed. For those of you considering adopting through the state, I'd encourage you to get started now because it takes quite a while!

So, now that we're licensed, we agreed to be put on the "Open Call" list, meaning the agency can call us day or night with emergency receiving or foster-to-adopt placements that meet our requirements.

When I learned that we had become licensed and Oronzo told me to call the agency back to let them know whether or not we'd like to be immediately put on the Open Call list, I must admit that I hesitated. It's not that I've changed my mind, it's just that my nerves got the better of me for a bit.

Placing that call meant accepting that our life is about to change in a drastic way. It could happen tonight or 6 months from now but if we stay on this course, changes are coming our way. We'll be opening our home to many strangers (foster care rep, case workers, lawyers, etc) and we'll be at the mercy of many more strangers. We'll be falling in love with a child (or several) and probably experiencing the pain (at least once, possibly more) of having to return the child to the parents. We'll be chugging away through the bureaucratic red tape of the state.

Life is really good right now. Snuggle Bug has our undivided attention, he's a great laid back kid, and things are fairly uncomplicated. I couldn't help but feeling nervous about disrupting all of that.

Thankfully, my excitement overcame my nervousness and I made that call! I let the agency know that we'd be willing to accept calls, starting now! Our state requires that we do 240 hours of strict foster care before we can be eligible for a foster-to-adopt placement so we're accepting emergency receiving calls to fulfill that requirement.

So, now we wait and watch the phones! Wish us luck and I'll keep you posted.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Homestudy, licensing

I have some exciting news to share! Our application has finally left the agency and has been sent on to the state, as of Tuesday this week! Hooray!

I'm sure the agency released our paperwork just to get me out of their hair! I was pestering them with phone calls and emails at least once a week. I was going to resort to bribery (showing up with a plate of warm brownies) if it took much longer but this past Tuesday morning when I emailed the boss of our licensing agent to ask how much longer, she emailed me back rather quickly to tell me they'd just sent out our application packet that morning.

So now, we have to wait 3-5 weeks for the state to approve our application and formally license us. I'm just going to expect the worst (that it'll take the full 5 weeks, maybe even a week longer) and hope for the best (that it'll only take 3 weeks).

I feel better now knowing that it's totally out of our hands. I could pester the agency to prod them along, but I really can't pester the state.

So, in 5 weeks or so (God willing) we will be eligible to receive placement calls for emergency receiving situations. Once we get our required 240 hours of strict foster care, then we can receive foster-to-adopt placement calls as well!

Keep us in your prayers if you don't mind. This has been a long haul already (we started this process back in April, after months of contemplation, prayer, and research). We're ready to expand our family! I can't wait to see Snuggle Bug in the role of a big brother! He's going to be great!

One last note, isn't the image I'm using in the post adorable? I saw it first on Donetta's blog and then found it on the CWO Scripture Tags. They have a lot of other cute ones there, go check it out!

Labels: adoption, adoption #2, adoption paperwork, expanding our family, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering

Just thought I'd let you know that absolutely NOTHING has transpired with our application since I last updated you all on our process.

I was lead to believe that our licensing agent was putting the finishing touches on our paperwork and her Homestudy report and was just about to turn it over to her boss for review when I spoke to her on 7 August.

Apparently that is not the case. When I hadn't heard from her in over a week, I emailed her and asked her if her boss had reviewed our application and forwarded it on to the state yet.

She emailed back to tell me that she was getting ready to turn everything over to her boss for final review.

So, for the past week and a half our application has been sitting in limbo. Ugh!!! I wonder how long it'll take for the agency to put their stamp of approval on it and get it turned in to the state? It takes 30-60 days from the time that the state receives it to approve us (as I hope they will), so we still have a lot of waiting in store.

This is the frustrating part...we've done all we can do and now it's out of our hands. I guess all that's left to do is pray.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, expanding our family, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Homestudy

We're plugging right along on getting everything done on our certification checklist. Let's see if I can remember what's been done thus far:

• 20+ page family profile (check)
• online application (almost done)
• 10 weeks of PS-MAPP training classes (check)
• CPR class (check)- we do the First Aid class next Monday evening
• Proof of income (check)
• Copies of drivers license (check)
• Copies of car insurance & registration for each vehicle (check)
• Copy of homeowners insurance policy (check)
• Home evacuation plan (check)
• Fingerprinting clearance cards received (check)
• Copy of immunizations for Snuggle Bug (check)
• Signed & notorized criminal history declaration forms (check)
• Combined interview by licensing agent (check)
• Individual interviews by licensing agent (almost check- mine is done, Oronzo's is scheduled for this Thursday)
• Physical & physician's statements (almost a check- mine is done, Oronzo's is scheduled for next week)
• Signing numerous agreement forms (check)
• Initial home inspection by agency licensing agent (check)
• Six reference provided by us and letters sent out by agency (check)

I think that's close to everything. We still have a few items left before we can be officially licensed. The biggest hurdle we face now is getting our "real" home inspection done by a State Inspection Agent.

Our agency licensing agent requested an inspection date for us 2 weeks ago and hadn't heard back. We got a packet of info in the mail from the state, explaining in layman's terms what the process involved (I though that was nice). The best part is that there was a number to call if we hadn't received a call from anyone scheduling an appointment for us within 30 days of the submitted request.

Okay, it hasn't been 30 days but I'm not always a patient person. I called the toll free number and left a very polite message asking someone to call me back. Amazingly enough, I got a call back in less than an hour and I got a inspection date scheduled, thanks to my call! I love it when things go my way!

Our home will be inspected on 31 July, a day when I will be out of town on business. Oronzo is going to handle the walk-through. It's probably better that I'll be out of town. I'd be a basket case if I were here, driving Oronzo crazy with my mad efforts to once again scour our house from top to bottom right before the inspection.

If all goes well with our inspection, we'll only have a few things left go get done to be certified (perhaps we'll be done by mid-August). Of course, we'll have to wait on our references to mail in their letters. Hopefully everyone will be prompt with that! We'll also have to wait for our licensing agent to write up her homestudy report but I get the impression that she's on the ball about all of that.

Wish us luck with the rest of the licensing process! We're starting to get nervous and excited, all at once!

Oh, one quick question, does anyone care to share some ideas on cute crib sets for little girls that incorporate the colors purple and sage? Store links would be appreciated! I find myself pondering over little girl crib sets now! :)

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering, home inspection, Homestudy

I haven't updated in a while how we're doing with our process of getting licensed for foster-to-adopt through the state, so here goes.

Thursday evening we attended the 9th of the 10 required MAPP classes. Although you think we'd be done with one more training class, you'd think wrong.

One of the things that has frustrated us about this training is that they seem to keep adding classes! We have to attend an extra "Nuts and Bolts" class next Wednesday evening and then our 10th MAPP class.

There's more. Since we have a pool, we both have to attend a CPR and a First Aid class (7/17 & 7/23) as well. We know these classes are important and we really don't have a problem taking them, we just wish we'd known upfront exactly what classes were expected of us!

So, when all is said and done, we will have attended 13 separate nights of classes! That's a lot of classes, especially considering we didn't have to take a single class to adopt Snuggle Bug. This process is so very different from adopting privately. We'll be glad when all these classes are done!

We're still waiting to have our official home inspection done by a state inspector. We did get a packet of info from the state that put into laymen's terms exactly what they're looking for, so that was nice. Better yet, they've given us a phone number to call to schedule an appointment if we haven't heard from anyone yet. You can bet I'll be calling them on Monday!

One unexpected thing that we learned during our class last week is that anyone we ask to babysit our foster child has to be fingerprinted before they can do so! I understand that they want the children to be safe, but this seems just a bit over-the-top to me. I sure hope our family members and close friends don't mind us asking them to take the time to go get fingerprinted if we need them to babysit for us! I'm not sure how one goes about delicately making that request.

Well, that's all for now. Check back on Monday if you're interested in participating in my very first Pay It Forward book exchange! I have another good book to give away! Thanks to all of you who seem to be in support of my idea! I can't wait to see how it goes.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering, home inspection, Homestudy

Yesterday we had a Licensing Agent (to be called Jessica) come from the agency that we're working with to get certified for foster-to-adopt through the state. She was at our house to do a preliminary walk-through of our house to see if any improvements needed to be made before our actual homestudy home inspection was scheduled.

I'm happy to say that we had almost everything in order! We carefully reviewed the list that I've attached to this post (click on the image to enlarge) before she arrived, so that helped.

There were a couple of suggestions that she had and I'd like to share them with you, in case you ever go through this yourself.

1) The plastic Safety 1st cabinets and drawers locks we had will not pass inspection with the state. She recommended that we get magnetic Tot Loks instead because those will pass inspection. I must confess, I've never even heard of these. Jessica said we can find them at Home Depot. I'll bet they're sold at Babies R Us too.

2) We're not allowed to have any extension cords used in our home. We can use surge protectors, as long as they are plugged directly into a wall outlet (not into an extension cord). Apparently extension cords are too much of an electrical fire hazard.

3) We need to purchase a carbon monoxide detector, especially since we have a fireplace. Oops, we forgot that one on the list.

4) We have to get a shepherds hook and ring buoy for our pool. Guess we'll be making a trip to Patio Pools this weekend.

5) We have to sign up for CPR & 1st Aid classes, since we have a pool. We've been meaning to do that anyway, now the state will pay for these classes.

Here are a few things I found interesting:

1) We had to check to make sure our water heater had the hot water temp set below 120 degrees. Thankfully, ours was fine.

2) We had to check our fire extinguisher and make sure it was at least a 2A, 40 B C (ours was a 3A, 80 B C).

3) We had to check our dryer vent hose to make sure it was aluminum, not the papery material that I remember having on our dryer growing up. Since our dryer is fairly new, that was no problem. Apparently they don't make them with the papery material any longer.

4) All the plastic outlet covers we had were not necessary. Jessica said for some reason they don't care about those anymore. Strange.

5) Dog's have to be have their rabiew shots up to date, cats do not. I wonder what the reasoning is behind that. We don't have a dog so it's not an issue, more of a curiosity.

I must say, I really like the agency we're working with right now. Everyone we've dealt with thus far (and there have been a lot of people involved already) has been professional, compassionate, and encouraging. Having Jessica over to our house felt like talking with a friend. She was so relaxed and laid back about whole situation.

What amazes me most is that Jessica said she thinks she can have us licensed by the end of August, just in time for a possible fall placement! She confirmed with us that we'd prefer a girl, newborn to 1 1/2 years old, that we'd consider a sibling group of 2 as long as they fall within that age group, and that we'd certainly consider a little boy if he were part of a sibling group that included a girl (can you tell we really would love to have a girl).

She reminded us that we had the right to say "No" to any situation we didn't feel comfortable with. In fact, she said she'd rather we were honest and said, "No" instead of accepting a situation we were really worried about and have it end in a disrupted placement for the child.

So, Monday morning Jessica is going to schedule our real home inspection. She said it can take several weeks to get an appointment. In the meantime, we'll finish the MAPP classes, allow her to interview Oronzo and I separately (on July 16th), and get the rest of our online application and paperwork completed. Whew! We still have a long way to go before we even start getting placement calls. That's okay! This feels like it's going by a lot quicker than I expected.

It's hard to believe that we might have a second child in our home by the end of the year! I'm excited about that thought!

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering, home inspection, Homestudy

Last week we were given the assignmen to write a letter to the parents of a child who may be placed in our home. We were instructed to tell the birth parents some things about us and our family that would assure them of our ability to foster or adopt their child.

As we wrote our letter, we were asked to think of the following questions:

1) How would I feel if my child were living with people I do not know?
2) What would I want to know about a family caring for my child?
3) What could another parent tell me that would make me feel secure that I am still my child's parent?

This letter will become a part of our Family Profile and may be show to birth parents.

I have been dreading this assignment! I've always had a strong dislike for "Dear Birth Parent" letters for several reasons. I don't feel it's right to call them birth parents before it's even been determined whether their parental rights will be severed. I'm not comfortable with the idea of "selling" myself to get a child, although I realize that the sad reality is that this is what often happens. I feel that all these letters end up sounding alike anyway.

Regardless of my distaste for this type of letter, we had little choice but to do as instructed. I rebelled a bit by refusing to use the title "birth parent".

I'll let you read what I wrote and turned in. Go easy on me, if you choose to comment. This wasn't easy to write.

Dear Parents,

We’d like to take this opportunity to share some information about our family, in the hopes that getting to know us a bit will ease your mind about who is caring for your child. We recognize that having your child placed in another family will be difficult for you and your child.

Oronzo and I met back in 1997 and our first date was on Valentine’s Day that year. We dated for five years before getting engaged. We spent a year planning our destination wedding/honeymoon in Ireland. We’ve been happily married for four years now.

Our family is being built through adoption. We adopted our son, Snuggle Bug, as a newborn through a private, domestic adoption. He is now 2 ½ years old and we love him dearly! He brings such joy to our lives. Snuggle Bug is a good-natured, gentle little boy who loves other kids.

Our hearts are now calling us to provide a loving home to another foster or adoptive child. We both come from large families and we want Snuggle Bug to have at least one other sibling, if not two.

If your child is placed with us, we will offer your child a safe home in a quiet and friendly neighborhood (walking distance from an excellent elementary school) with lots of loving attention. Although I work outside of the home, my schedule is fairly flexible and I don’t have to work overtime. Oronzo does consulting engineering work from home, so your child will not be in daycare. Note: By the time we are placed with a child, Oronzo's current contract job will be done and Snuggle Bug will be pulled out of daycare and become a stay-at-home kid again.

During the weekdays, your child will be with Oronzo and Snuggle Bug, going to library story times, taking walks, and having play dates with other young children. Our evenings are filled with indoor and outdoor play, family meals, bedtime stories, and lots of one-on-one attention. Our weekends are filled with family activities like trips to the zoo, the park to feed ducks, and other kid-friendly outings. We attend mass each Sunday and then go out to brunch afterwards. We also like to attend occasional baseball games (Snuggle Bug is a huge baseball fan already), bookstore story times, and outdoor pops concerts in the park. We often like to just relax at home and hang out in our pool when it’s hot outside!

We understand that the goal of the state for children that are placed into foster care is to reunify them with their parents. We will do what we can to assist in achieving that goal. We will treat you with kindness and respect. We will encourage your child to maintain a safe and healthy relationship with you. We will take pictures to share with you for the times that you are not together (Oronzo is a professional photographer). And if your child should become available for adoption by our family, we would be happy to send you pictures and updates on a set schedule so that you still know how they’re doing. We will never deny your child the right to their family history.

I hope this letter has reassured you that your child will be well taken care of and that you will be a part of their life, even when you’re not present. We would be happy to answer any specific questions that you might have.

Sincerely,

OW, Oronzo, and little Snuggle Bug

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering

It's been a while since I've offered up an update on how we're progressing towards persuing a second adoption through the state.

Let's see, this Thursday will be week 7 of our PS MAPP class. That means after this Thursday we only have 3 more classes left! Hooray!

The classes have been interesting. We've learned a lot about the "system", some good and some bad. Let me share a few details.

We've heard a lot of PC talk that frustrates us, like..."Yes, the parents may have burned their children with a cigarette but they're not bad people, they just need our help. They really love their children."

I know that it's not fair to say that all parents with children removed and placed into the system are bad people. I do believe that there are many that just need services provided to help them learn better parenting/life skills. Oronzo and I both struggle though when we're told that we're not only there to provide a safe and loving environment for the children, while it's determined whether or not the parents can get back on track, but we're also expected to try to mentor the parents. We're very protective of our privacy and the safety Snuggle Bug so we've made it clear to the trainers that, although we're willing to meet and interact with the parents for the sake of the child and the state's goal of reunification, we're not willing to do it in our home. And we don't want any of our contact information shared until we feel comfortable enough to decide how much to share.

Some of the exercises in this class have been very effective in putting us in the shoes of the children and how much loss they feel at being removed from their homes. Even when things are bad, the children love their parents and most often don't want to leave. It'll be our job to help make that transition, whether temporary or permanent, as smooth as possible. The classes have given us insight and techniques on how we can accomplish this daunting task.

Overall, I think the classes have been a lot more beneficial than I expected them to. I'm learning new things, I'm forming relationships with some of my classmates in the hopes that we can support each other along the way (we've exchanged email addresses so far), and I'm getting one step closer to becoming licensed. Oronzo thinks the classes are a waste of time and views them simply as a means to an end. He's going and he's doing the required homework, so I'm not complaining.

This Friday we have a licensing agent, from the agency we're working with, coming out to do an initial walk-through of our home. This is to share tips on how we can make our home more safe before the actual home inspection required as part of our homestudy. I'm actually happy to be having a "trial run" of the walk-through! Of course, I've been cleaning like a mad woman every night, driving Oronzo crazy, but that can't be helped.

We've filled out a lot of paperwork, I've gotten my fingerprinting card in the mail (hooray, I passed), we've turned in our emergency evacuation plan, and we're about to turn in copies of paycheck stubs, home/car insurance policies, copies of our drivers licences, and much more! It's an extensive list of things we have to provide!

So, I thought I'd mention that if you have specific questions about this process and our experiences with it thus far, leave me a comment and I'll do my best to answer them.

Stay tuned, later this week I'll post the generic letter we've been asked to write to the parents of the future child we might have placed with us.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering, Homestudy

Well, we attended our first PS-MAPP class (PS-MAPP stands for: Partnering for Safety and Permanence – Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting) last Thursday night and we go again tonight. Our first class went really well. There were 20 of us in attendance, from all walks of life. I think we're going to have a good group. Everyone seemed willing to participate in the discussions and group activities. We're going to be getting to know each other over the course of these 10 weeks of classes. I hope that at the end, when we graduate, Oronzo and I will have made some new friends and that we can support each other as we go through this foster-to-adopt process! I'm getting a good feeling from the 2 instructors we have, one in particular seems incredibly passionate about her work.

I thought some of you might appreciate if it I shared a checklist we were given. Remember, we've already filled out a mound of Family Profile paperwork. Now we're being asked to fill out an online application (some duplication of information is definitely happening). While working on our online application, I printed out this checklist.

Family Foster Home Licensing Preparation Checklist

In consideration of your application for licensure, your contracted licensing agency, and/or the Office of Licensing, Certification, and Regulation (OLCR), will need you to provide various types of documentation to support your qualifications.

The following checklist will provide you, the applicant, a helpful resource in gathering the information your licensing agency and/or the OLCR minimally require(s) to review and process your application for licensure. If you should have any specific questions regarding any of the documents listed on the checklist, or require clarification of any kind, feel free to discuss these with your licensing agency.

Proof of Income
You will need to provide current documentation in support of the income reported on the budget statement. Some examples of proof of income you may provide your licensing agency, include:

Pay Stubs W-2

Tax Returns State/Federal Entitlement

Child Support Rent

Contributions By Household Members

Assets

Adoption Subsidy

Other/ State Federal Assistance

Criminal History Declaration
You, as well each adult household member (18 years and older), will need to be fingerprinted and be required to complete a declaration of criminal history form. The documentation you will need to provide consists of a:

Fingerprint Card (complete with expiration date and Department of Public Safety Card #)

Criminal History Declaration

Transportation
If you and/or any adult household member (18 years and older) will be transporting children or vulnerable adults, documentation of valid driver’s license, liability insurance, vehicle registration will need to be shown for each driver.

When transporting a child or vulnerable adult you, and/or any adult household member drivers, will be expected to provide and use safety restraints appropriate to the age and weight of each child or adult transported; prohibit the number of persons in any vehicle from exceeding the number of available seats and seat belts in the vehicle; and ensure that any vehicle used to transport children or adults in wheelchairs be equipped with floor mounted seat belts and wheelchair lock-downs for each wheelchair being transported.

Be prepared to provide the current documentation consisting of:

Valid Driver’s License (State, License Number, Expiration Date, Restrictions)

Liability Insurance (Company Name, Coverage Expiration Date)

Vehicle Registration (Car Year, Make, Model, Vehicle Identification Number, Expiration Date)

References
If you are applying for a Family Foster Home License, be prepared to
provide documentation consisting of the names, addresses, telephone
numbers (and e-mail addresses if available) for:

5 Character References, with no more than 2 references from people to
whom you are related. If you are married, 2 references must be from
people who know you as a couple.

School References may be required if you have school aged children.

If you are applying for a Child or Adult Developmental Foster Home License, compile a list of references including names, addresses, telephone numbers (and e-mail addresses if available) for:

3 Character References from people who are familiar with you and your
family, but who are not related.

1 Employment Reference if you are currently working, or have worked,with children or adults with developmental disabilities.

School References may be required if you have school aged children.

Children’s Immunizations
Provide documentation that each child living in your home has received the immunizations appropriate to the child’s age and state of health, unless you have submitted a signed statement that the child has not been immunized because of either: a) religious affiliation which is opposed to such immunizations or b) because you are opposed to such immunizations. Documentation you will be asked to provide consists of:

Immunization Records OR

Statement of affiliation with a religion which is opposed to immunizations OR

Statement of applicant opposition to such immunizations

Training
You will be required to complete training. For each training requirement, be prepared to provide the completion date, credit hours and course title. Dependent on the type of license for which you are applying, you will be asked to provide documentation verifying completion of one of the following types of training:

Adult Development Home pre-service training

Adult Development Home ongoing training

Child Development Home pre-service training

Child Development Home ongoing training

Family Foster Home pre-service training

Family Foster Home ongoing training

Professional Foster Home pre-service training

Professional Foster Home ongoing training

Other training

Certifications
If you are applying for a Family Foster Home License:

You will be required to have current CPR Certification (showing the expiration date of the certification) if any bodies of water on your premises are greater than 18 inches in depth and, a foster child 13 or younger is placed in your home; OR if you are applying for a professional foster home license.

First Aid certification (showing the expiration date of the certification) is only required if you are seeking a Professional Family Foster Home License.

If you are applying for a Child or Adult Developmental Foster Home License, provide documentation of:

Current CPR Certification (showing the expiration date of the certification)

First Aid certification (showing the expiration date of the certification)

Dog Rabies Vacinations
If you own a dog and the dog is routinely present on your premises, you will need to provide documentation for that dog demonstrating current vaccination against rabies.

Rabies Vaccination Verification (Name of dog and vaccination expiration date

Physician’s Statement
If this is the first time you are applying for a Family Foster Home License, you will be required to provide a physician’s statement, current within 6 months of your application for licensure.This same requirement also exists for any other adult household member or person living on your premises (18 years or older) who will be regularly providing care and/or supervision for a foster child. At least every 3 years after initial licensure, you, your adult household members and persons living in your premises (who regularly provide care for foster children) will be required to obtain new/updated physician’s statements.

If this is the first time you are applying for a Child or Adult Developmental Home License, you and each adult household member (18 years or older), will be required to provide a physician’s statement, current within 6 months of your application for licensure. A physician’s statement may also be required of any adults, not living in your home, but who reside on your premises. Atleast every 3 years after initial licensure, you and your adult household members will be required to obtain new/updated physician’s statements.

Emergency Evacuation Plan
Prepare a drawing of an Emergency Evacuation Plan minimally showing:
1) 2 exits which are remote from each other on each floor used by a child or
vulnerable adult

2) at least one exit, on each floor, with a direct and safe means of travel to the outdoors and a safe method to reach the ground
level; and

3) a window serving as a second exit only if the child or
vulnerable adult can access and open the window and can pass through it.

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering

In an earlier post I shared a small portion of the paperwork that we've been requested to fill out in preparation for getting licensed for foster-to-adopt through the state.

Oronzo and I have managed to fill out the entire packet of questions and I dropped it off at the agency today. Okay, let me re-phrase that, Oronzo filled out the Foster/Adoptive Father profile paperwork after I repeatedly badgered him and I filled out all the rest. That's okay though, it's done!

So, since many of you expressed an interest in seeing more of the questions we are being asked in this paperwork, I'll continue one with a second list. Here goes!

Personal Profile (My School and Work History)

1. How many grades did you complete in school (junior high, high school, college, graduate school)?

2. If you did not complete high school, what were the reasons?

3. If you have attended college, what was your field of study and what degree did you receive?

4. As you think back over all your school experiences, were they primarily good experiences or bad? Please explain.

5. What kinds of school experiences did you like the most (what subjects, what activities)? Please explain.

6. What parts of school were most difficult for you (what classes, what activites)? Please explain.

7. How important will grades and school performance be for the child placed in your home?

8. What are your school expectations for a child placed in your home?

9. Since leaving school, please list (from first to current job): places you've worked, job title, length of stay, & reason for leaving.

10. Of all the jobs listed, which did you like best and why?

11. Of all the jobs listed, which did you like least and why?

12. If you are currently employed, please describe your job. What do you do at work? How long would you like to keep this job? What are your plans to look for another job within the next few years? How do you think becoming a foster or adoptive parent might affect your work?

Personal Profile (My Interests In & Expectations of Foster/Adopt Parenting)

1. What made you think about becoming a foster/adoptive parent at this time?

2. Have you ever been in foster care? Were you adopted? Do you know anyone who has been in foster care or adopted? If yes to any of these questions, please explain.

3. If yes, how did your own experience or contact with these people affect your interest in foster care or adoption?

4. What do you believe to be the major differences between foster care and adoption?

5. If you are interested in only foster care, what helped you decide to provide only foster care?

6. If you are interested in possibly adopting through the foster care program, what are your concerns?

7. If you are interested in only adopting, why do you prefer to adopt rather than foster?

8. If you're interested in becoming a foster parent, under what circumstances (if any) might you later consider adopting a child?

9. If you're interested in becoming an adoptive parent, under what circumstances (if any) might you later want to foster?

10. Are you physically able to mother/father a child? If yes, are you planning to have a child or children by birth in the future? If no to either question, please explain.

11. As you think about becoming a foster/adoptive parent, what do you think you will like the most? What do you think you will like least? What do you think others in your family will like best and least about having a new child in your home?

12. If you have parenting experience, what have you enjoyed most about being a parent?

13. What have you disliked most about being a parent?

14. What childhood ages do you or would you most enjoy parenting?

15. What childhood ages do you or would you least enjoy parenting?

16. What forms of discipline do you find to be most effective?

17. Under what circumstances do you think it is OK to spank or physically discipline a child?

18. Please list any agencies you have previously contacted to be come a foster/adoptive parent and share the outcome of contact.

19. Imagine that today is the day you are going to meet the child or children who will be placed in your home. Please describe this child: age, sex, personality, appearance, family, background, siblings, etc.

20. Have you ever been a parent to someone else's child?

Well, there you have it, another small portion of the paperwork we've been asked to complete. There's quite a bit more. Are you still interested in additional paperwork posts? :)

Labels: adoption, adoption #2, adoption paperwork, foster-to-adopt, fostering

It's time to reflect on the good things of this past week in another "Grains Of Gratitude" post. Grains of Gratitude was started by Christine at Brady's Bunch.

1. Our sweet neighbor, Hetty died earlier this morning, at 3:30 a.m. We got the call from her husband, Jack, at 6:30 a.m. I'm thankful that we were given the opportunity to know this wonderful woman. Over the past 2 years, she became like a grandmother to me and Oronzo and a great-grandmother to Snuggle Bug. We will miss her fiesty nature and her kindness. Prayers for Jack and their 2 children and grandchildren would be much appreciated. They will miss Hetty most dearly, as will we!

2. I'm thankful that so many bloggers are offering up prayers for Kelli and Heather. Both need prayers now more than ever! The power of prayer can work miracles, so please go to their blogs and offer them enouragement and prayers.

3. I'm thankful that we finished our huge stack of adoption paperwork last night! I'm sure more will be required to be filled out, but for now we're caught up. We'll turn it in on Monday to the state agency we're working with. Oronzo's responses for his foster/adoptive father profile were quite brief, but I don't care. He did them, that's what matters. If they need clarification from him, they can ask him. Later this coming week, I'll post some more of the questions we had to answer, since many of you expressed an interest in seeing those.

4. I'm thankful for the opportunity to meet Jessica, the midwife, this past Friday. She loved the photo scrapbook that I put together and said she'll be sharing it with her other midwife associates and will try to spread the word with doctors here in town. Perhaps we'll get our next match through Jessica. It could happen!

5. I'm thankful for the Family Day that's being hosted by the military base that I work on! It hasn't happened yet, so I'll come back and post details later today, but I'm really excited. It's going to be a lot of fun for Snuggle Bug and one of his toddler friends that we've invited to join us. Stop back and take a look at the pictures that I'll post!

Happy Sunday to you all!

Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, Grains of Gratitude, Hetty, neighbors

Oronzo and I have made the decision to try to adopt through the State. We've picked an agency that we feel comfortable with and we're going to sign up for their foster-to-adopt program. We're still going to keep the word out with family and friends for a private adoption situation, just to keep our options open. But, since nothing's happening on that front, we're proceeding in this other direction.

I'd like to share our experiences along the way with adopting through the state. Of course, I won't be able to get into specifics about the child we might be placed with or the family of that child, they deserve their privacy after all, but I will get into specifics about the process itself and our interpretation of it. I hope that others will learn from our experiences, as I have learned from others.

Adopting through the state seems pretty scary to me right now, but a part of me has decided to let go of that fear. I'm tired of it holding me back. I'm ready to make a leap of faith.

So, in the interest of sharing our experiences, I thought I'd start by sharing some of the paperwork that we're having to fill out in preparation for our training class. I'm short on time so I may have to come back and add more details this afternoon, so please stop back.

Please keep in mind that each state will have different paperwork and, even within the same city, each agency will have different paperwork, but the resulting information that the state gets from prospective foster/adoptive parents ends up the same. I hope to take the mystery out of this process for others by sharing what we're going through.

Personal Profile (My Family History)

1. Who were all the people who lived with you (birth date and relationship) when you were between the ages of: birth through five years old, six through eleven, twelve through fifteen, sixteen until you left home.

2. Was there anyone not in your home or immediate family with whom you were especially close, and why?

3. Of all the people you listed in Question 1 & 2, where are these people now and how often are you in contact with them.

4. Of all the people listed, to whom were you closest and why?

5. What ages of your childhood did you like most, and why?

6. What ages of your childhood did you not like, and why?

7. With whom did you have the most difficulty getting along, and why?

8. When you were growing up, what were ways for members of your family to show the following feelings: happiness, love/affection, anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness/depression, stress.

9. Compared to other families you've known, both as a child and as an adult, would you say your family was happier or less happy than most families?

10. What family traditions with which you grew up do you still keep today, and why? Are there new traditions, and why?

11. Are there family traditions with which you grew up that you do not keep, and why?

12. Think back to the time when you left home to be on your own. How old were you? Why did you leave? How did you and your family feel about your leaving?

13. If you have been previously married or lived together in an intimate relationship, please complete questions 13-16. If not, go to question 17. Name of spouse or significant other? Date of marriage or beginning of relationship? Place of marriage? Reason marriage or relationship ended? Date marriage or relationship ended?

14. List any children you have, from previous marriages or relationships, who do not currently live with you.

15. What contact do you have with the person listed in questions 13 & 14. How do they feel about your desire to become a foster/adoptive parent?

16. Identify your emotions about the ending of your marriage. Describe how you handled those emotions.

17. If you have remarried, or entered into a new relationship with someone other than your children's father, how did your children adjust to the new person?

18. How did you meet your spouse or the person with whom you are living?

19. How long have you: know each other, been married, been living together?

20. What do you think was the main reason you married or entered into a relationship with this person and the main reason you have stayed together?

21. What do you like most about your spouse or partner? What do you think your spouse or partner likes most about you?

22. What would you like to change about your spouse or partner? What do you think your spouse or partner would like to have you change?

23. What do you most like about being married and/or living with someone?

24. What do you least like about being married and/or living with someone?

25. What would make you want to consider a divorce or ending of the relationship?

26. How much time during the week do you and your spouse or partner have along together, and do you think this is enough time?

27. What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have had in your life and how did you cope with it?

28. How and by whom were you disciplined as a child under the age of six?

29. How and by whom were you disciplined as a child between six and twelve?

30. How and by whom were you disciplined as an adolescent?

Okay, so this just scratches the surface of the stack of paperwork I have in front of me. As I was typing the questions here, I had an internal commentary going on in my brain, but I don't have time to explore that now. I'll try to come back this afternoon and add that after I get off work.

So, what do you think? Are any of you interested in me continuing with the sharing of this type of information? How would you feel about having to answer these questions?

Labels: adoption, adoption #2, adoption paperwork, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering