Thursday, April 12, 2007
Adoption #2- Creating a Photo Scrapbook
Last December we were put in touch with a friend of a friend who's a midwife named Jessica. The first adoption lead that she had for us just didn't pan out, but she's made it clear that she's still on the look-out for us, for a private, domestic adoption situation.
After four months of conflicting schedules, we're finally meeting in person for the first time tomorrow afternoon. We're meeting in the park and Jessica is bringing her youngest child to play with Snuggle Bug while we chat and get better acquainted.
For this in-person meeting, Jessica has requested that we put together a photo scrapbook and give it to her to share with any expectant mothers that come to her looking for adoptive parents.
We have no problem with Jessica's request. We actually did this over two years ago for Snuggle Bug's birth parents and they said they loved having our photo scrapbook to share with their family and friends!
Putting together a photo scrapbook has proven to be much harder the second time around. I guess it's not surprising, considering the sheer volume of pictures we have taken since Snuggle Bug's birth. I only have room for 30 pictures...can you imagine how difficult it was to pick 30 pictures out of thousands?!
I suspect we'll be doing this again as part of the foster-to-adopt licensing process, so I'm playing it smart this time. I'm taking a picture of each page of this latest photo scrapbook before I turn it over to Jessica. That should make the next one easier to put together.
So, the dilemma we face now is whether or not we should put our family name on the inside cover of this photo scrapbook, as in "Meet the Overwhelmed With Joy family". I'm comfortable with using our last name in the book but Oronzo is not, since he has no idea who will be looking at this book, how often it will be distributed, or if it will be kept in a safe place when not being viewed by an expectant mother. I kind of understand his hesitancy but if an expectant mother is interested in talking to us, I have no problem sharing our first and last names then, so why not just have them in our photo scrapbook?
What's your opinion? Should we share our last name in this photo scrapbook or leave it out, using first names only? What would you do in our situation?
** Edited to add**
Okay, you all have convinced me to use first names only. Besides, I have to respect Oronzo's wishes in this matter. It's not all about me. :)
My photo scrapbook is done (28 pictures, 1 picture per page with a descriptive paragraph for each page). I think it turned out great and even Oronzo approves of it. I hope Jessica likes it tomorrow!
After four months of conflicting schedules, we're finally meeting in person for the first time tomorrow afternoon. We're meeting in the park and Jessica is bringing her youngest child to play with Snuggle Bug while we chat and get better acquainted.
For this in-person meeting, Jessica has requested that we put together a photo scrapbook and give it to her to share with any expectant mothers that come to her looking for adoptive parents.We have no problem with Jessica's request. We actually did this over two years ago for Snuggle Bug's birth parents and they said they loved having our photo scrapbook to share with their family and friends!
Putting together a photo scrapbook has proven to be much harder the second time around. I guess it's not surprising, considering the sheer volume of pictures we have taken since Snuggle Bug's birth. I only have room for 30 pictures...can you imagine how difficult it was to pick 30 pictures out of thousands?!
I suspect we'll be doing this again as part of the foster-to-adopt licensing process, so I'm playing it smart this time. I'm taking a picture of each page of this latest photo scrapbook before I turn it over to Jessica. That should make the next one easier to put together.
So, the dilemma we face now is whether or not we should put our family name on the inside cover of this photo scrapbook, as in "Meet the Overwhelmed With Joy family". I'm comfortable with using our last name in the book but Oronzo is not, since he has no idea who will be looking at this book, how often it will be distributed, or if it will be kept in a safe place when not being viewed by an expectant mother. I kind of understand his hesitancy but if an expectant mother is interested in talking to us, I have no problem sharing our first and last names then, so why not just have them in our photo scrapbook?
What's your opinion? Should we share our last name in this photo scrapbook or leave it out, using first names only? What would you do in our situation?
** Edited to add**
Okay, you all have convinced me to use first names only. Besides, I have to respect Oronzo's wishes in this matter. It's not all about me. :)
My photo scrapbook is done (28 pictures, 1 picture per page with a descriptive paragraph for each page). I think it turned out great and even Oronzo approves of it. I hope Jessica likes it tomorrow!
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, family
9 Comments:
I would agree with your husband. I would only use first names. If you meet an expectant mother you can share your last name or Jessica could share it if they ask. I would just tend to keep that private until you meet or something. Just my opinion. :)
We only put "Don and Kristi" on our adoption portfolio. As you meet and make decisions about a possible adoption plan, you can share more information with one another.
Ultimately, do what is most comfortable for the two of you!
Kristi in Texas
I would only use first names. The thing is, (and I may be naive) I don't think most birthparents would have any ill intent at all in knowing your last name. OTOH, when you are matched, the open adoption terms would be laid out at that time. Identifying information can be handled more appropriately at that time.
Blessings,
~Toni~
I'm gonna agree with the other ladies. Especially considering you'll have Snuggle Bug in it. Just to protect the innocent a bit more.
How about talking it over with Jessica and getting some of Oronzo's questions and concerns answered. If you use your last name make it clear that you want the scrapbook to stay where only she has access to it and not laying around somewhere...and that the potential birth families don't get to take it home, but can look at it there in the hospital. Maybe if there are some "ground rules" of Oronzo's that are followed he might feel more comfortable.
My reaction was immediate and swift. I would not put the family name in the front of the album. First names, yes, to add a personal touch, but last name? I just wouldn't.
I would do first names only....
I personally would only do first names.
I know when Tara was considering the adoption process we got albums that had just the first names but the majority of the albums we got had the last name. We would also do internet searches on the families as we wanted to know everything possible.
One family was in retail and we found out it was generational, they had been in the area they stated for years and I knew one of my friends had lived in the area so I contacted her to find out more about the family. She told us they were an awesome family. It gave Tara a lot of peace and she ended up selecting that family.
You know Tara kept her baby and I praise God she did but it was nice knowing more about the family she selected than what was shared in the album. Also in the albums some wrote a lot besides the pictures, some didn't. Some shared how they met, where they went on vacations, photos of extended family, etc...
Your case is a bit different though, with a child you have already adopted...so in your case I don't think I can advise you but as a wife, I always trust my husbands intuitive protectiveness of our family.
Hugs to you!
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