Tuesday, June 13, 2006
I'm almost afraid to post this.
I had something happen Sunday morning that scared the life out of me. I wasn't going to post about it for fear that readers would judge and think, "What a horrible mother she is," but I think it'll help me process it by typing it out. And maybe, it'll serve as a reminder to others as it's done to me. Tears are welling up in my eyes just thinking about it, but here it goes.

Early Sunday morning, Snuggle Bug and I were outside playing, while we let Oronzo sleep as long as possible before we all went to mass.

As always, Snuggle Bug wanted to go inside the gated pool area so that he could throw his water balls in there. Since I was with him, I let him in and watched him throw his balls in, retrieving some of them for him.

At one point, I made the mistake of turning my back on him and taking a few steps away from him. I can't even remember why. It was a poor decision on my part.

In the few seconds that I was turned away from him, somehow Snuggle Bug fell into the pool, the shallow part of the pool. I'm sure he was trying to follow me, cut the corner a little too close, and fell in.

When I heard the splash, my heart leapt in my throat! I whipped around, took the few steps in the direction that I heard the splash and saw my beautiful baby underwater! Time froze. I froze! My mind was sluggish in deciding to dive in after him and then I saw him floating up.

As he surfaced, I crouched down and plucked him out of the water, immediately enfolding him into my arms, holding him tightly! His cry was music to my ears! I rocked him and attempted to soothe him (and myself) by repeating over and over, "You're okay. Mama's got you. You're safe now."

Poor baby, he was terrified and shivering. After doing a quick search of his skull to see if there were any bumps, swelling, or bleeding, I scooped him up and headed inside to get him wrapped up in a big towel. As we walked in, I noticed that his bottom lip was bleeding a bit. It looked as though he bit his lip, probably when he fell into the water.

Snuggle Bug clung tightly to me, still terrified. I was terrified too, my heart beating rapidly and my body shaking at the thought of what might have been!

Once I bundled Snuggle Bug in a big towel, I took him into his nursery, sat down in his rocking chair, and began to rock, cradling him close. He was content to stay on my lap, wrapped tightly in my arms for quite a while. Eventually his sobs subsided and my heart began to beat more normally. I must've said a thousand thank yous to God as we rocked.

Once I put Snuggle Bug in a dry diaper and clothes, I took him into our bedroom and woke up Oronzo, telling him what had happened.

Oronzo was so sweet. He told me, "You didn't leave him in the pool area unattended. You were right there. You did everything right and he's okay."

Oh how I love this man. He knew I was beating myself up inside for allowing this to happen and he did his best to nip that in the bud.

I love having a pool in our backyard but despite the self-closing, self-latching gates that we have around it and despite our rule of no cell phones in the pool area, there is still danger and this past Sunday I was painfully reminded of this.

I thank God that Snuggle Bug didn't smack his head on the side of the pool as he fell in, or swallow too much water and stop breathing, or any other of the horrible things that I imagined in the seconds that seemed like hours as I watched him float to the surface. Thank You God for protecting my precious baby and not letting him drown in our pool.

Please don't be too harsh on me if you choose to comment. What you think can't be nearly as harsh as what I've thought myself. The thought of loosing Snuggle Bug still chills my blood and I don't need to be reminded of what could've happened.

And please, learn from my mistake. If you have a pool, please, please, please, keep your children in eyesight and arms reach at all times.

And now, I'm going to share a HAPPY picture of Snuggle Bug in the pool with his daddy.

(Okay, maybe not. Blogger isn't behaving. I'll try again later.)


8:26 PM

At 9:31 PM, Blogger Free In Christ said...

Don't beat yourself up. Your husband was right, you were there, you din't leave him unattended. Again, DON'T beat yourself up. You sound to me like a terrific mother. Relax and enjoy your baby.

At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Julie said...

Oh my goodness! How scary!... But it's NOT your fault! Accidents happen, unfortunatly.

I'm so glad your son is alright!

At 10:04 PM, Blogger C. H. Green said...

Doesn't matter if you were standing there looking at him, he still could have fallen in. Stuff happens, girl. And sometimes you just can't stop it. I'm glad things turned out okay.

At 10:23 PM, Anonymous mayasmom said...


Check out this product, I just read about it recently. For peace of mind, it sounds like something I'd buy immediately if I had a pool! I think if we even vacation somewhere with a pool I'd get it.

And you DID do everything right -- you were right there to scoop that precious little boy up. Give him an extra kiss from all his internet "aunties" tonight...

At 11:44 PM, Blogger Shelly said...

Don't be harsh on yourself. Things do happen. I had my son get burned right before my eyes.

At 12:17 AM, Blogger Granny said...

I was sitting right next to my oldest (then a toddler) both of dangling our feet. Her brother was in a stroller just to the side.

I turned for a split second to check on him and she was in the pool with me right after her.

No harm done.

It happens. Accidents happen. Don't beat yourself up, please.

At 5:18 AM, Blogger Tracey said...

Ditto to above. He's ok... It is a horrible day when we realize not only our own mortality, but our children's as well and how fragile it is. I'm so glad he's ok. Now give yourself a hug cuz you didn't do anything wrong!

At 5:22 AM, Blogger Karla said...

I'll repeat the other comments. Don't beat yourself up. You did all the right things. As much as we'd like to as mothers, we can't hold our child's hand every split second of the day. One time our Bean went running (she was still learning to run, mind you) through our living room and slammed her head right into the very hard couch corner. She got a goose egg on her little forehead, even scraped it a little bit. I was mortified. "Why did I let her run like that?!" Now granted, that's not nearly as scary as having her fall in a pool, but.... I guess the principle I'm trying to share is that they have to learn their lessons, the hard way sometimes. And we just have to be the best parents we can be -- which you did perfectly!!!!! Who knows, maybe this has instilled in him a healthy respect for the water that might one day save his life. I'm inclined to think that most things happen for a reason, or at least good lessons can be learned from things that happen.
Sorry to be so long. =) Thanks for having the guts to post your story. It hasn't changed my opinion of your wonderful mothering skills that I've read about so far. You're an awesome mommy. I pray you'll be encouraged today. =)

At 6:26 AM, Blogger JennG said...

I am so sorry that happened to you! There is nothing worse than seeing your child scared or injured at our hands. When Devyn was 4 months old, I laid her by the edge of the bed to throw away her dirty diaper. I, too, should have known better because the minute I turned around, she fell to the floor.

Don't beat yourself up, we've all done it at one point or another!

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Trish said...

HUGS MOMMA!!!! Please please dont blame yourself. It wasnt your fault!

Yesterday Adam feel out of his highchair, trying to get to me.

Accidents happen! Thank god he is ok!


At 8:57 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

My neighbor's have a pool and their daughter has fallen in right in front of them before. I'm sure this was a lesson learned. The best of mother's make mistakes and learn from them so don't beat yourself up ya'll will laugh about it when he is older. (((((hugs)))))

At 9:40 AM, Blogger Beck said...

Kids do the scariest, most unpredictable things - I'm extremely over-protective, and have still had SO many close calls (hence, me being over-protective)! It happens to everyone - but you were right there, and although it was scary, no harm was done!

At 11:07 AM, Blogger MugwumpMom said...

I double and triple what everyone else has said. You are being way to hard on yourself...or the enemy is being his typical lying accuser self..so ignore those thought darts. You did nothing to contribute to this, and reacted quickly and properly afterwards. Continue in your thankfulness and when he's ready, take Snuggle Bug swimming so the fear doesn't get a foothold.

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Annette said...

you are being just as hard on yourself as every mother is when something happens to their child that wasn't supposed to happen that could have had a very bad result.

Life happens!

I've had my share of scary moments.... sometimes followed by understanding comments from my hubbie, and sometimes with "how could you?" :) And my boyo is only 11 months old.... My sister has told me stories about the things that have happened with her children.... So...I'm not alone, and you're not alone it happens. :)

Prayer and faith in God is what gets us through as mothers.

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Heather Smith said...

I posted a comment about this on the All Stars Blog! God was with you!!

At 11:46 AM, Blogger kpjara said...

Everyone who has read one word you have written knows your whole heart and life is about this child and your family as a whole! Do not question for one minute your ability!

I concur with everyone above!

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Praying for your Prodigal said...

I am so glad everything turned out o.k. I remember years ago as I was sitting at the children's pool with my son, then 2 years old....he nearly drowned standing right in front of me. He had a water wings on--and I was chatting with another mom who was watching her son as well. The two of us were so engrossed in our conversation that I didn't notice that my son had tumbled up side down in the wading pool.....and could have drowned...had I not heard the slightest little splash come my way. Mind you--he was right in front of me. Your warning is a good one--when toddler or little ones are near the water....you need to be extra careful!

You are not a bad mom--I echo the thoughts of the other commenters....I understand the fear you must have felt--and the gratitude that your sweet one is o.k!


At 12:40 PM, Blogger wolfbaby said...

Dont beat yourself up... bad things happen and your husband and everyone else is right. You didn't leave him alone in the pool area so you aren't a bad mom. The important thing is that he is ok and you were there to catch him when he fell.

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I had chills reading about your experience...and first of all I'm so glad Snuggle Bug is ok! I can imagine the feeling of your heart stopping and time freezing - that's something we as parents never want to go through. Kayla was on a changing table once and yes I turned my back and yes she rolled right off it. I "lost" her in our zoo once...in just a split second that I turned to talk to someone else she was gone and out of my sight. It is scary, and try as we might to protect them we can't watch them every single second...it's impossible. Try not to beat yourself up anymore over this...hugs to you guys!

At 1:43 PM, Anonymous sylvie said...

I know this must have been very scary for you. But the good thing is everything is ok. Those little buggers are just so fast they get away from us so quickly. Don't beat yourself up. This does not make you a bad mom at all!

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Patty said...

By naw you have quit shaking and snuggle babe has the puddin squeezed out of him.
So I will say it again accidents happen and Thank God he is fine.

At 4:17 PM, Anonymous away2me said...

What a scare! I'm sorry you had to go through that. I feel worse for you than for the Snugster!

At 6:44 PM, Blogger AMH said...

You are definitely NOT a horrible mother! Those kinds of things can happen. My sister did the exact same thing when she was about 2. My cousin did it when he was closer to four. There's something about water-- kids don't realize you can't just walk on it or through it.

I'm glad everyone was ok! Don't beat yourself up! Your hubby was right. Hang in there.

At 11:17 PM, Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

Ladies- I can't tell you how much your kind and supportive words mean to me! And not that I enjoy hearing about close calls with other's children, but reading your stories helped me to put my incident into perspective and simply be thankful that things turned out the way they did.

It's responses like yours that make me thankful I'm blogging. Who knew there could be such a vast sea of support from people I haven't had the good fortune to meet!

Thank you!

At 3:34 AM, Anonymous groovy mommy said...

It was scary, yet it wasn't your fault.

There are things that might happen, things that are out of reach.

So, don't blame yourself, girl...


At 11:24 AM, Blogger cloudscome said...

I can still see my oldest son stepping into the pool when he was just 2 years old, trying to run around the corner and going down instead. We were at a friend's pool party, and I was on the other side of the pool, watching him. I screamed and felt frozen. My friend, who was in the pool on a raft dove after him and pulled him out. Another friend picked him up and carried him around the pool to me, and then took him back in the water so he wouldn't be afraid of the water. I was so shook up! Thank God my friends were there with us and my son was safe. These things happen no matter how careful you are. I think sometimes the babies are more frightened just by seeing how shook up the moms get... they don't understand the danger but they get your vibes loud and clear! Today the baby almost pulled the computer off the desk onto his head while I was in the bathroom. I felt like a terrible mother! No more going to the bathroom!!!

At 7:30 PM, Blogger abebech said...

"It is a horrible day when we realize not only our own mortality, but our children's as well and how fragile it is." This is so true. I'm so sorry it ever has to happen.
You are a great momma, and your husband is right - you were right where you needed to be: right there.

At 11:15 PM, Anonymous chelle said...

Ok I had something similar happen to us this week. We were swimming in the pool, Becca has learned how to get out from the side of the pool!!! So she ran to the DEEP end and walked in (she cannot jump yet even thought she thinks she can!!) I was not far because I was swimming to where she was walking in fear!! Good thing too, the kicker is she came up laughing and squealing AGAIN AGAIN!!! OMG I could have sunk right there if I thought she would not try it again while I was weeping at the bottom of the pool!!!

Do not feel bad, learn and let go!

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Faith said...

You are a great Mom! Things like that happen, glad all is well!!!

At 8:25 AM, Blogger Lori said...

I have 5 children and everytime(and I am serious about this), EVERYTIME something has happened that required stitches, etc...I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE! So, don't sweat it, you see it for as serious as it can be. It's just a reminder, kinda god's way of keeping you on your toes. I'm new to your blog and just finished your adoption story. It was beautiful and brought me to tears.


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Name: Overwhelmed

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It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

How stupid can I be?!
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