Okay, so maybe my feet weren't quite this bad, but they sure felt like it. Take a peek at my salon experience.

Salon employee/Janeen: Put your feet in this bowl of warm water. Is it too hot?

Me: Not at all, just right! ((gritting my teeth as I adjust to the near-scalding temperature of the water.)) Oh, what's this on the bottom of the bowl?

Janeen: Those are marbles.

Me: Fabulous! ((note to self, go buy some marbles for home use))

Janeen: Okay, I'll take your right foot now, please. Oh, my. Did you trim your nails yourself today?

Me: Well, I trimmed them last week. Did I cut them too short?

Janeen: ((Putting her clippers back away)) Umm...let's just start with some filing.

Janeen: When was the last time you had a pedicure?

Me: Before my son was born.

Janeen: How old is your son?

Me: He's two.

Janeen: I see. ((a pained expression creeps across her face))

Me: I shaved my legs last night, just for you! ((as she's putting me to sleep by massaging my ankles and calves with lotion))

Janeen: That's nice, you'd be surprised at how many women don't.

Janeen: Why don't you pick a nail color. ((handing me at least 50 nail color samples))

Me: Oh, how could I possibly choose?! ((Half the fun was reading all the creative OPI nail color names like "Red my mind!", "I'm not really a waitress", "Yucatan If U Want", "Skinny Dip'n Lake Michg'n", and "Hoodoo Voodoo?! I finally settle on "I Love This Color".))

During the hour and a half that Janeen spent making my feet presentable once more, I sipped water, chatted with Anora, watched the other customers come in for maincures, facials, and massages, stared at the soothing blue walls, and listened to the soft, calming music playing in the background.

You might be wondering what it costs for this indulgence. Well, Anora got a discounted price of $30 per pedicure. At first, I thought this seemed a bit pricy, but when it was time to go, I was plotting ways to justify to Oronzo why I just have to have a pedicure at least once a month from here on out! I like the slogan of the salon we went to, "offering a new lifestyle, not just luxury". I'm all for that!

And now, for the picture proof as to why I'll never be mistaken for a foot model. Even after all that pampering, I still have my dad's unsightly feet. Oh well, at least I have snazzy nail polish on my toes now!

Yes, that's my foot propped up on my desk. How else was I going to show you all how my pedicure turned out? :)