Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Loosing touch with Baby Bug
There's something that's been weighing heavily on my heart lately and I'd like to share.
It's been over a month now since I've last seen Baby Bug. In early April, I met her at the mall with her mom and baby brother. We spent time shopping together at Gymboree and then I chased her around the mall play area. She laughed, and laughed as I caught her in my arms, swooped her upside down and then set her back down to chase her all over again. I took some pictures of her that day, not realizing it might be my last time seeing her.
Baby Bug's parents have separated. Baby Bug's mom moved out of the townhouse they were renting and moved in with her father (Baby Bug's grandfather). She took the two kids with her. I'm not sure what kind of visitation schedule will be arranged between the kids and their father.
During our visit in early April, Baby Bug's mom mentioned that her dad did not approve of her keeping in touch with us after Baby Bug was returned home. For some reason he didn't think it was a good idea. She kept in touch with us despite his disapproval.
Now that she's living with him, perhaps she's feeling pressured to cut off contact with us. Or, maybe her life seems so out of control right now that she just doesn't have the energy to maintain contact with us. I don't really know the reason why she's stopped taking my phone calls. I've left a couple of messages with her and I've gotten no response. I no longer know where she's physically living. She never told me the location of her dad's house.
I just don't know what to do. Do I track down Baby Bug's dad (I know where he works) and see how they're doing? That might upset Baby Bug's mom. If I thought Baby Bug was in danger, I could contact CPS and ask them to track her down, but I honestly don't think she's in danger. Her little live is being turned upside down, but I still believe she's being well cared for. Do I continue to call Baby Bug's mom periodically (like a month from now) and hope that one days she answers my call?
Do I just let go and let God? It pains me to think that I may have to do this. Baby Bug is not our daughter, as much as we love her still. She has a mother and a father. It's really up to them what kind of contact they wish to allow us, if any.
I had hoped to have at least some minimal on-going contact with Baby Bug and her family. I wanted to watch her grow and be like an honorary aunt to her. I thought that was possible, but now I'm realizing that maybe it isn't.
I'm saddened at this break in contact.