Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
Tonight I've spent some time clearing out the dresser drawers used for Baby Bug's clothes.  I'm packing many of her things neatly in the extra large duffle bag that her parents packed up shortly after she came to us last November.  They packed all of her newborn clothes that night to give to us, fearing that she would never return  home to them.  Now it's my turn to pack up all of her clothes, knowing she's going back home for good.

As I fold up Baby Bug's 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12 month clothes, the memories that these items invoke are strong.  

There's the pink blanket that she arrived in late that night of 28 November.  She was sleeping in that blanket when I carefully picked her up out of her car seat and held her close.  The blanket has been lovely folded and placed in the duffle bag.  It's too warm for her to use at the moment but perhaps she'll use it again this winter.

There's the yellow ducky hooded towel that we bought her around Christmas time.  That's her towel and it goes home with her.  I haven't packed that away yet because I'll use it one last time when I give her a bath tomorrow night.

There are all the cute little dresses with matching bloomers and my favorite Children's Place zipper sleepers that we've bought for her over the past few months.  Those are all tucked in the duffle bag now, along with the matching bows that I made for many of the outfits.

There's the very large shopping bag of brand new clothes that she hasn't even worn yet.  We purchased them in larger sizes so that she has time to grow into them.  Her mom will be surprised to see the dresses, shirts, shorts, pants, 2-piece outfits, and sleepers that are brand new.  Those are 6-9 and 9-12 month sizes and since she's on the small side, she'll have to wait a bit to fit them.  I'm hoping we'll be in touch enough to see her wear some of those outfits later this fall and winter.

Friday morning I'll pack up the handmade blanket that my aunt sent her.  She's always slept with it every night that she's been here.  

There are stuffed animals (including her favorite plush giraffe), toys, a Christmas ornament, bottles, and other odds and ends that I'll be packing up for her.

I just can't believe that she's leaving us on Friday.  It's been a rough week for me and this weekend is going to be even tougher.  I miss her already and she's not even truly gone yet.  I've been almost frantically taking pictures of her for days now.  I've been holding her close and rocking her to sleep at night, and praying hard for her safety and happiness.

Friday we'll load up the car with all three kids and Baby Bug's belongings and we'll drive her home to her parent's house, around noon.  We'll say our goodbyes there and I'll try not to cry until we're gone because I don't want to spoil one of the happiest days of her parent's lives.  They are so very excited to be getting her back and I'm happy for them!

This weekend I'll probably start packing up the baby stuff (the excesaucer, the additional baby clothes that we already had, the infant toys, etc) and putting them into storage for now.  Oronzo and I have decided that we need time to grieve Baby Bug's absence for a while so we're not going to be put back on the "open" list for the time being.  We'll keep busy enough with taking care of Snuggle Bug and Boo.

I don't think I'll be hosting a Favorite Ingredients Friday recipe exchange this week.  I'll be too absorbed in spending every last possible moment with Baby Bug and then dealing with her absence when she's gone.  I promise to try to get back into the swing of things again next week.

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9:16 PM

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Just Lisa said...

This breaks my heart. I know you're hurting. I hope you're able to be strong on Friday. I'll be thinking of you.

At 10:21 PM, Blogger Crystal said...

I wish I knew what to say. I'll be praying for you. (((Hug)))

At 10:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This must be so hard for you. I can't even imagine... love is a difficult emotion... it invokes many other emotions during its course in life.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger Forgetfulone said...

Sounds bittersweet. I hope everything works out for Baby Bug.

At 11:42 PM, Blogger Kelli said...

Oh darlin, I have no words. Only know that I'm praying and sending you huge hugs. Even if I'm not there anymore.

I'm here if you need me.

At 5:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so sorry for your loss. grieve and allow yourself to heal your heart.

At 5:54 AM, Blogger threesidesofcrazy said...

This is such a difficult week for you culminating in an imperceptible loss and you'll need family time to heal. My prayers are with you as you deliver baby bug back to her parents and learn to adjust to her loss in your family.

At 6:04 AM, Blogger Kellie with an "ie" said...

I've been thinking about you so often this week as Friday approaches. Sending you a big hug and wishing you as much peace as you can possibly have tomorrow.

At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you OW. This is an amazing thing you are doing....

At 6:41 AM, Blogger Miss Notesy said...

How bittersweet for your family. You'll be in my prayers tomorrow.

At 6:46 AM, Blogger T with Honey said...

OW, you are in my thoughts and prayers. A bittersweet time, indeed.

At 6:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your family has done a lovely thing. I really admire your heart.

At 7:10 AM, Blogger PastormacsAnn said...

Keeping you in prayer.

At 7:20 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

You have been in my thoughts and prayers alot lately. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you all. I pray God gives you the strength to get thru this and that baby bug will do well back at home with her parents.

At 7:25 AM, Blogger pithydithy said...

I got all sniffly as you described your packing. This is breaking my heart for you, even though I know (just as you remind us) that it is a happy event for Baby Bug's parents and, ultimately, for her. I am so happy and grateful to know that when their family was in need, there was a family like yours out there to love and nourish Baby Bug and to then lovingly hand her back to her parents despite the pain of it all. Hugs.

At 9:05 AM, Blogger lightshines said...

Bitter sweat. You are in my prayers. I can feel the emotion in your post. Hugs.

At 2:54 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

You've done something that's amazing for Baby Bug and her parents. I can only imagine how painful it will be for you, Oronzo, Snuggle Bug, and Boo. You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger beth said...

Thank you so much for sharing this and for taking care of Baby Bug. I can't imagine how grateful her parents are for all of your help. I will be praying for you.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger on the Rock said...

If you cry, it's okay - everyone will understand and be deeply touched anyway.

And all those wonderful new outfits you have to pass on, well I think her mom will be covered in goosebumps and your love everytime she dresses Baby Bug in them - it's what gifts do:)

God Bless

At 9:59 PM, Blogger Angela said...

I'm not sure what to say.. I read your blog all the time waiting for news of your adorable kids.. and though I think that baby bug going back to her bio parents is an awesome thing If I was in your shoes I would be devisated.. there is no way to raise a little one that long and not fall in love.

We'll be thinking about you today.

At 12:08 AM, Blogger Judith said...

Strange that I stopped by on this night. Love sometimes asks a very big price for caring so much, but it's better than if this child, who needed it so much, was never with you.

I will pray often for you in the morning. Even in your heartbreaking pain, know that the moments you gave her are etched in her little heart and mind, and gave her things even her birth parents couldn't. Unselfish love like yours is carries out God's plan for her life.

At 12:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woke up this morning thinking of you. Wishing you love and strength. You and your family are truly an amazing blessing to this child...

At 5:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today on the Feast of the Assumption. May you be comforted all day.


At 5:35 AM, Blogger Carey said...

Thinking of you today. Praying for your family.

At 5:36 AM, Blogger Jen said...

I hope you are alright today. I'm praying for you and your husband and for Baby's in God's hands...

At 8:08 AM, Blogger The Apron Queen said...

I am thinking of you. You have done a wonderful thing. Caring for & loving a child while their family is unable to. Baby Bug is a lucky child to have so many who love her. :) Chin up & stay strong.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger Guenivere said...

Thinking and praying for you extra hard today!

Big hugs,
Jen O.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Sandy said...

I found your blog while surfing and my heart is breaking for you as I write with tears in my eyes. I will pray for you and your family.

At 1:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ow... I am so hurt and upset for you. To put it to you this way... they could have approached this so much better.

As always: Wishing you strength and Love.

At 4:22 AM, Blogger Kelli said...

Just wanted yo to know I've been thinking of you. Hugs sweet friend.


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

Next Friday is going to be tough.
Sorry for the sporadic posting.
My first sewing class.
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Appetizers & Snacks E...
Boo and her babies!
More tutus!
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Whole Grain Pancakes)
WFMW- free trinket boxes
Here's what 40 looks like.

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