Tuesday, March 23, 2010
In case you're wondering...
We still don't have a definitive answer on Boo's case but here's the latest.
We celebrated Boo's 3rd birthday recently by having a birthday tea party for her. She loved pouring tea for all of her little friends that day!
Once CPS determined that Boo's bio mom is indeed incarcerated again, they filed a motion for a new severance trial. That trial has been set for mid-April.
In the meantime, the judge has ordered that a mediation conference be held between us (Oronzo, me, and our lawyer) and Boo's bio mom and her lawyer, as well as a facilitator and CPS present. Obviously, since Boo's bio mom is incarcerated in another state, this will be a phone conference.
The judge is hoping that we'll be able to come to some kind of post-adoptive arrangement that where we agree to some type of post-adoptive contact in exchange for Boo's bio mom voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights, rather than fighting it in court longer (Boo has been in the system for over 2 1/2 years now, it's time for this to be done).
I must admit, I've gone through some angry moments. I've felt angry that we're being strongly encouraged to negotiate post-adoptive contact with a woman who has led a dangerous and criminal life-style for over 20 years. I've felt angry at what she's put her daughter through these past 2 1/2 years with her actions. I've felt angry that she's fought so hard to maintain her parental rights and yet couldn't seem to keep her own life together to give her daughter the stability she deserves. And I've struggled with these emotions because under different circumstances, I'd probably have no problem with some type of post-adoptive contact, as we have with Snuggle Bug's bio mom.
It's taken me time to work through this anger. Thank goodness for supportive family and friends who have listened without judgement and prayed with and for us.
I'm in a better place now to enter this mediation conference that's to be held next week. Oronzo and I have agreed on a "bottom-line" as far as what type of post-adoptive contact we're willing to offer (visitation is NOT a part of that bottom-line, not while Boo's bio mom is living the life that she's living now and maybe not at all until Boo requests that...if she makes that decision). If Boo's bio mom isn't willing to accept our bottom-line, then we'll see her in court. We feel the odds are more in our favor at this point.
We've been told that Boo's bio mom is seriously considering relinquishing her parental rights. She's begun to admit to herself and others that she may never be stable enough in her own life to parent her child. Still, it's not certain that she will make that decision in the end. We may still end up in court.
So, that's the update. This has been a much harder road than we ever imagined. It's been so stressful and there are days when I feel I've aged 10 years in the past 2. I just pray that this will all be worth it in the end. Boo is what keeps us going throughout all of this.
We celebrated Boo's 3rd birthday recently by having a birthday tea party for her. She loved pouring tea for all of her little friends that day! I look back at some of the first pictures we took of her when she arrived to us at 12 months old. It didn't seem like it at the time, but she was still such a baby girl back then...now she's grown taller, her face is definitely more defined, and her hair is nearly down to her waist (she calls it her princess hair). She's a sassy, beautiful, stubborn little girl. We love her dearly!
I'll post another update sooner rather than later.
Labels: adoption #2, Boo, foster children, foster-to-adopt, fostering
7 Comments:
It's great to hear from you! I am so sorry and frustrated for you that this continues to drag on. You are clearly a loving family with a great attitude about open adoption (look at your relationship with Snuggle Bugs parents and with your first foster daughters family!). Enough is enough, though. It is time for Boo's interminable wait in the system to be over. You love Boo and she loves you, it's best for her that she is your daughter, and exposure to her bio mother could harm her. How is it that this is not immediately clear to the courts? How is it that you are still going through this? Argh.
Hugs.
Hey there-
I am SO glad to hear from you. I have been wondering about how y'all are doing.
That is an absolutely adorable picture of her, and it reflects the happiness she feels. And only you and Oronzo are to thank for that.
We will be praying for the mediation, and understand we are in total agreement of your "bottom line".
Let me know how you are doing- emil me if you want to talk, I would gladly give you my number.
Its so good to hear from you. Ive been praying for you and your family.
Thanks for the update.
Thanks for the update. I am so sorry about all your troubles and I feel so angry about it. I can only imagine the emotions you are feeling.
I will continue to pray that Boo becomes your's "offically" very very soon.
((big Hugs))
Julie
I can't believe this is still dragging on. Check that. I can totally believe it, but I am sorry it's happening to you.
It sounds like it's going to end the way you want. Good luck!
You are still doing so well, glad to see you are finding strength with family. Good luck with all you have to face in the next little while.
So glad to hear from you finally! I know this hard road and I'll pray that she will accept photos and letters being sent through the agency and will relinquish.
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