Tuesday, March 23, 2010
In case you're wondering...
We still don't have a definitive answer on Boo's case but here's the latest.

Once CPS determined that Boo's bio mom is indeed incarcerated again, they filed a motion for a new severance trial. That trial has been set for mid-April.

In the meantime, the judge has ordered that a mediation conference be held between us (Oronzo, me, and our lawyer) and Boo's bio mom and her lawyer, as well as a facilitator and CPS present. Obviously, since Boo's bio mom is incarcerated in another state, this will be a phone conference.

The judge is hoping that we'll be able to come to some kind of post-adoptive arrangement that where we agree to some type of post-adoptive contact in exchange for Boo's bio mom voluntarily relinquishing her parental rights, rather than fighting it in court longer (Boo has been in the system for over 2 1/2 years now, it's time for this to be done).

I must admit, I've gone through some angry moments. I've felt angry that we're being strongly encouraged to negotiate post-adoptive contact with a woman who has led a dangerous and criminal life-style for over 20 years. I've felt angry at what she's put her daughter through these past 2 1/2 years with her actions. I've felt angry that she's fought so hard to maintain her parental rights and yet couldn't seem to keep her own life together to give her daughter the stability she deserves. And I've struggled with these emotions because under different circumstances, I'd probably have no problem with some type of post-adoptive contact, as we have with Snuggle Bug's bio mom.

It's taken me time to work through this anger. Thank goodness for supportive family and friends who have listened without judgement and prayed with and for us.

I'm in a better place now to enter this mediation conference that's to be held next week. Oronzo and I have agreed on a "bottom-line" as far as what type of post-adoptive contact we're willing to offer (visitation is NOT a part of that bottom-line, not while Boo's bio mom is living the life that she's living now and maybe not at all until Boo requests that...if she makes that decision). If Boo's bio mom isn't willing to accept our bottom-line, then we'll see her in court. We feel the odds are more in our favor at this point.

We've been told that Boo's bio mom is seriously considering relinquishing her parental rights. She's begun to admit to herself and others that she may never be stable enough in her own life to parent her child. Still, it's not certain that she will make that decision in the end. We may still end up in court.

So, that's the update. This has been a much harder road than we ever imagined. It's been so stressful and there are days when I feel I've aged 10 years in the past 2. I just pray that this will all be worth it in the end. Boo is what keeps us going throughout all of this.

We celebrated Boo's 3rd birthday recently by having a birthday tea party for her. She loved pouring tea for all of her little friends that day!

I look back at some of the first pictures we took of her when she arrived to us at 12 months old. It didn't seem like it at the time, but she was still such a baby girl back then...now she's grown taller, her face is definitely more defined, and her hair is nearly down to her waist (she calls it her princess hair). She's a sassy, beautiful, stubborn little girl. We love her dearly!

I'll post another update sooner rather than later.

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10:28 PM

At 6:45 AM, Blogger pithydithy said...

It's great to hear from you! I am so sorry and frustrated for you that this continues to drag on. You are clearly a loving family with a great attitude about open adoption (look at your relationship with Snuggle Bugs parents and with your first foster daughters family!). Enough is enough, though. It is time for Boo's interminable wait in the system to be over. You love Boo and she loves you, it's best for her that she is your daughter, and exposure to her bio mother could harm her. How is it that this is not immediately clear to the courts? How is it that you are still going through this? Argh.


At 3:26 PM, Blogger Kelli said...

Hey there-

I am SO glad to hear from you. I have been wondering about how y'all are doing.

That is an absolutely adorable picture of her, and it reflects the happiness she feels. And only you and Oronzo are to thank for that.

We will be praying for the mediation, and understand we are in total agreement of your "bottom line".

Let me know how you are doing- emil me if you want to talk, I would gladly give you my number.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Carey said...

Its so good to hear from you. Ive been praying for you and your family.
Thanks for the update.

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Julie said...

Thanks for the update. I am so sorry about all your troubles and I feel so angry about it. I can only imagine the emotions you are feeling.

I will continue to pray that Boo becomes your's "offically" very very soon.

((big Hugs))

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Magi said...

I can't believe this is still dragging on. Check that. I can totally believe it, but I am sorry it's happening to you.

It sounds like it's going to end the way you want. Good luck!

At 12:11 AM, Blogger boysmum2 said...

You are still doing so well, glad to see you are finding strength with family. Good luck with all you have to face in the next little while.

At 8:44 AM, Blogger MommaofMany said...

So glad to hear from you finally! I know this hard road and I'll pray that she will accept photos and letters being sent through the agency and will relinquish.


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

Snow Day
Severance ruling overturned for Boo's case.
Baby Bug's 2nd birthday
I'm home from surgery!
Going into surgery tomorrow morning.
Slowly moving forward with Boo's adoption.
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Grilled Sweet Pepper ...
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Salad Edition)
My life as a SAHM.
Potty mouth

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