I've been meaning to update you all on Baby Bug's frustrating situation that I blogged about here and here but I needed some time to cool off and see how things played out. I'm ready now. And while I'm at it, I'll update you on Boo and Snuggle Bug as well, but in separate posts in the very near future. This post will be devoted to Baby Bug.

The short of it...CPS got their way. They are no longer providing any transportation for Baby Bug and Baby Bug was enrolled in a nearby daycare this past Monday. I'm less than thrilled!

Now, for the details (fair warning, this is going to be a long post!).

I will give Baby Bug's CPS worker (and her supervisor) credit for being quite clever. Not only did she successfully maneuver out of transporting entirely for this case, but she also presented the daycare situation to Oronzo in such a way that he couldn't help but be swayed to her way of thinking! I was at work the morning she came to discuss it with him.

Here's how things now work:

1) Baby Bug is enrolled in a nearby daycare. CPS is picking up the tab, entirely. We're not sure if they have her enrolled PT or FT but since we're not paying I guess it doesn't matter.

2) Three days a week, Oronzo (or myself) is responsible for dropping Baby Bug off at daycare by no later than 9 AM. The daycare opens at 7:30 AM so in theory we could drop her off as early as 7:30 AM. That will happen over my dead body. She will arrive at around 8:45 AM-8:55 AM.

3) On those three scheduled days, Baby Bug's parents are responsible for picking Baby Bug up at the daycare no later than 9 AM and they must have her returned to the daycare by 4:30 PM. Oronzo or I have until 6 PM to pick Baby Bug up from daycare. Again, I can assure you she will not be languishing in daycare until 6 PM.

4) I demanded some guidelines of my own in this less than desirable situation. First, I informed the CPS worker that I would be calling the daycare center each morning at 10 AM to make sure that Baby Bug had been picked up by her parents, so that she wouldn't be sitting in there all day, unbeknownst to us if her parents didn't show up. If they hadn't arrived by 10 AM, I told the CPS worker that Oronzo or I would go pick her back up and it was to be understood that her parents had then forfeited their entire day's visit. Second, if Baby Bug's parents were going to be late in dropping her back off at the specified 4:30 PM time, I expected them to call and let the daycare center know so that we could be warned. I made it clear to the CPS worker that if Baby Bug was not there when we arrived to pick her up and her parents hadn't called the daycare center, then we were going to call the CPS hotline, which involves the police going out to her parent's house to retrieve Baby Bug. Baby Bug's parents haven't done anything thus far to lead me to believe that we'd have any problems but I wanted it to be made very clear that if problems began there would be consequences and I needed to make sure that CPS would back me up. I needed to do my best to look after Baby Bug's interests since it seemed as though no one else was doing so! The CPS worker agreed to my stipulations and conveyed them in a letter to the parents.

Although I hate the idea of Baby Bug in daycare, her parents seem to hate it as much as I do and so far this week she's not been in daycare for more than 30 minutes each day! Yes, our tax payer's dollars are being wasted in such a way as this, since CPS (the State) is picking up the daycare tab. It's a joke, really!

We started this on Monday. Oronzo arrived at the daycare with Baby Bug at 8:45 AM and found Baby Bug's mom already there. Not only that, she had been there for an hour waiting! She was so nervous about the chance of being late and so excited at the thought of being allowed to have an all-day visit with her daughter for the first time in four months, that she left their house really early and got to the daycare an hour before Oronzo arrived! What a way to start things off on the right foot. My admiration for Baby Bug's mom increased even more that day! Monday afternoon, she had Baby Bug back at 4:30 PM on the dot and I picked her up on my way home from work at 5 PM. Baby Bug's mom arrived early the next two mornings as well and has been very punctual in returning her.

I feel bad that her parents have been left holding the bag as far as transporting for visits, especially since they have to travel across town, but they don't seem to mind one bit. They are just thrilled to have more time with their daughter.

Baby Bug's visitation with her parents is going to be increasing steadily over time. If this three days per week schedule goes well, after a while it'll be increased to four days, then five. Eventually they'll get some overnight visits and then weekend visits. The ultimate goal, of course, is reunification and her return home to her parents on a full-time basis.

I have such mixed feelings about all of this. On one hand, I'm happy that her parents are getting more time with their daughter and I'm very hopeful that they will continue to do well and do what they have to do to get her back. I really do think this is a good thing.

On the other hand, the more time she spends with her parents, the less time she spends with us. So far, the increased visitation doesn't really cut into my time with Baby Bug because it's mainly while I'm at work. But it won't be long until I see less and less of Baby Bug. I know this case has absolutely nothing to do with me but it's going to be emotionally hard for me to let go of Baby Bug, little by little.

I love this child as if she were my own, knowing full well that she's not. I "know" her and she knows me. Her face lights up like a Christmas tree anytime she hears my voice or sees me walk into a room. I know what each of her cries mean and how to comfort her. I know exactly how to hold her when she's over-tired and needs to get to sleep or if her tummy is hurting her. I love buying her cute little outfits and making her hair bows/clips to match! I love holding her close, rocking her, and surrounding her in song and prayer. I love caring for her and keeping her safe.

Baby Bug's next court date isn't until mid-July and even then it's uncertain as to whether or not the judge will consider Baby Bug's parents ready to get her back but by then she will have been with us for 8 months and I think, if they continue to do so well, her parents will have a very good shot at getting her back at that point in time.

So, our time with Baby Bug is dwindling. My heart aches at the thought of it. But, while she's still with us, I will be the squeaky wheel advocating for her best interests. Obviously I'm not going to win every battle, but I won't go quietly. She deserves the very best and I intend to do everything in my power to see to that while I am able.

That's all for now. I'll update you all on Boo and then Snuggle Bug very soon, so stop back again. As always, your prayers and your support are much appreciated!

Labels: adoption #2, Baby Bug, foster children, fostering