Friday, September 01, 2006
Complete
We're getting family pictures taken this morning. Actually in almost exactly one hour. Neither Josh nor I are showered. And Nicholas is back in bed after waking up far too early for his liking this morning. Can we pull it off? Most likely. I'm not all that worried about it.

Instead, my mind is eight hours East, wondering what the Munchkin is doing this morning. Will she by some strange connection be dressed in red and blue today? Will she feel the same empty spot in her heart this morning?

Family things get to me. There should be another child in this family picture. She should be wild and crazy and have the most beautiful hair known to mankind. She should love and hate her brother all in the same breath. And if we want to get technical, my belly should all ready be swelled with fourteen weeks of Rose, but she's gone, too. These losses in my life still sting.

Often we hear that firstmothers "complete" anothers' family. Thankfully this is usually said by those less attached to adoption on a personal level. But even well-respected adoptive parents have said to me in casual conversation, "I'm so thankful that our son's firstmom completed our family."

At the price of her own.

My family will never be complete. There will always be a missing Munchkin in family pictures. On Christmas morning, there will be missing presents. On Thanksgiving day, we won't have enough place settings on the table. Easter? One less basket. Halloween? One less costume to make. December 13th will never be spent, in Ohio, blowing out candles, unwrapping presents and snuggling my precious daughter to sleep.

I know, I know. I should buck up and be grateful for my Son. I am! November 17th is our celebratory day. This Christmas should be full of wrapping paper and squeals. And on Thanksgiving, I'll even give him some table mashed potatoes.

But my family will never be complete. She will always be missing even though I know exactly where to find her.

Zoomed in HappinessJenna writes an adoption blog entitled The Chronicles of Munchkinland. She most frequently writes in her family blog, Family Living; Hatfield Style, where she just recently shared the fact, with the world, that she is a firstmother. She lives in Ohio where she is a wife, a Mom to Nicholas and, most shocking, a brand new work-at-home-mom.
6:26 AM
13 comments


13 Comments:
At 7:23 AM, Anonymous starbender said...

Sounds like a fantastic day!
:)

 
At 8:08 AM, Blogger Magi said...

As someone in the process of adopting, I read a huge amount of blogs from our perspective. I read a few from the prospective of adult adoptees. It is good to hear yours as well. Thank you for sharing, and thanks to OW for introducing you to me.

 
At 8:09 AM, Blogger Magi said...

I forgot to ask. Would you mind if I linked to your post, so that the pre-adoptive parents that are part of my world can read as well?

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Kathleen Marie said...

My daughter very, very recently considered adoption. In fact she changed her mind at the last minute after hearing her daughter's first cry. She had a c-section.

Several of my post are from the expectant grandma's perspective. I am very, very pro-adoption but I really had a hard time with my own daughter placing her daughter up for adoption. I am so thankful that she kept Alexys but my heart and prayers still go out to the perspective adoptive parents. I know the Lord has the perfect child for them and I hope it is soon.

Thank you for sharing from your heart. God Bless!

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Jenna said...

Magi; feel free to link. I need to remember to link this in my own blog! LOL!

Starbender; it turned out semi-decent. I think.

Kathleen; thank you for sharing your story with me as well.

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Sheri said...

Jenna, I am a regular reader of your site: The Chronicles of...

But I don't think I've ever left a comment. So I just want you to know I do read your blog and you touch my heart regularly. As this post touch me, deeply.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Munchkin Land said...

Jenna, I just named my new blog Knee-Deep in Munchkin Land! I had no idea another munchkin land blog existed out there.

Thanks for taking the time open your heart for the rest of us. It takes a brave woman to be that vulnerable. It was beautifully written!

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger Pamela said...

My heart goes out to you. You sound like a wonderful Mom and your son is so fortunate to have you, very touching.:)

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I hope the family photo shoot went well today!

Thank you for sharing your story; I'm very sorry for your losses. I have no connection to adoption, so I can't pretend to understand what you've gone through/are going through - but you surely have given a lot of people a peek into what it's like. My heart goes out to you as you are missing both of your losses.

 
At 3:02 AM, Blogger Trisha said...

Just a really beautifully written piece. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

 
At 6:43 AM, Anonymous chelle said...

Being I did not know my "birthmother" when I was growing up, this is exactly how I imagined she would feel at times. Thanks for sharing your story.

 
At 7:42 AM, Anonymous Jessica said...

Sounds like a busy day...family pics. can be the greatest though!!!

 
At 8:33 PM, Anonymous PinkJeweledCat said...

I honestly don't remember how I arrived at your blog. I sorta zoomed over the site at first, admiring the BEAUTIFUL photographs here. I really like the Five Ingredient Friday thing. I may do one this Friday for my simple chicken quesedillas. Then I wandered down the page and was reading the posts, and then I came to the post entitled "Complete". I agree that all things happen for a reason. You see, I was adopted when I was almost four years old, and my first son that I had, when I was single, and not ready to be a mom, was given up for adoption. That alone, made me truly feel connected to this blog. And as I read this post, my heart nearly stopped when you said that you wouldn't be celebrating your daughter's birthday on December 13th. That is my birthday. I can't quite explain how that impacted me. For reasons I can't quite identify, I feel such grief for your loss. I've been getting messages left and right from God about how I just need to quit focusing on the negatives of my life, and be thankful for the gifts I've been given, through my children. I pray that God will continue to bless you, and that your courage will be a beacon to all those who yet live in the darkness where they know no hope. Ta for now dahling.

 

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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)


(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)


Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
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Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
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Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
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Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
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Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

I'm taking a vacation but my blog is not!
Works-for -Me Wednesday (creating blogging categor...
Will my baby's face be scarred?
Active Family
My first attempts at home movie production.
Five Ingredients Friday (Cheesy Hash Browns)
How do you cope when a child goes down the wrong p...
Works-for-Me Wednesday (alternate use for pot rack...
Older Parent (revealing my age)
I'm back from an unplugged camping trip!
























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