Sunday, July 18, 2010
There's a whole lot of adoption talk going on in our household.
As Boo's adoption finalization date approaches (a bit over a month away now), there's a whole lot of adoption talk going on in our household.

Adoption has been part of our everyday conversation for several years now. We've made a point to speak of it frequently with Snuggle Bug, even before he was able to understand much of anything we were saying to him (we're talking newborn stage here), in large part to get ourselves well-versed and comfortable with the conversations. Now that Snuggle Bug is 5, the word pops up more and more each day, often times prompted by him.

Here are some of the things he'll say to me,

"Mama, remember when I was in my birth mother's tummy?"

"My birth mother lives in ______ (state), right Mama?"

"Remember when I was 'dopted, Mama?"

"When is Boo gonna be 'dopted?"

I'm actually enjoying these conversations about adoption because for the longest time I worried that something was wrong, that I was handling things incorrectly, since Snuggle Bug never spoke of adoption, never made any reference to it at all. It wasn't until he was about 4 1/2 that something finally clicked.

Snuggle Bug is a very visual child. He wants you to show him things, not just tell him about them.

His dawning awareness of adoption (as much as a preschooler can understand) began when a neighbor's pregnancy became quite visible.

As she and I stood outside chatting one day, Snuggle Bug piped up and asked, "What's in your tummy?"

Our neighbor explained that her baby was growing in her tummy and that her baby would be born in about a month.

Snuggle Bug turned to me and asked, "Remember when I growed in your tummy, Mama?"

The moment of truth had arrived. It felt as though all my efforts to normalize talk of adoption throughout the years had finally culminated in this first question.

I knelt down to his level and explained, "Actually, honey, you didn't grow in my tummy. You grew in your birth mother's tummy and we were there at the hospital to meet you the day you were born."

I waited to see if my response would generate more questions. Snuggle Bug looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Oh, right," and the moment passed.

Since that first question, over time many more have followed and Snuggle Bug has even looked at pictures of Giselle. It feels so good to know that he feels safe enough to come to me with these questions and to realize that he's slowly beginning to grasp the concept that our family has been formed through adoption.

The fact that we talk of Boo's upcoming adoption quite a bit just adds another layer of awareness for Snuggle Bug as we explain what will happen in court that day.

I've overheard Snuggle Bug and Boo excitedly talking together about her approaching adoption and it warms my heart.

I can't wait to have Snuggle Bug witness Boo's adoption finalization. Being the visual child that he is, I think having him there in the courtroom with us will give him a deeper understanding about what adoption means to our family.

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10:00 PM
15 comments


15 Comments:
At 11:05 PM, Blogger on the Rock said...

I too keep wondering what age this will be an important topic. At just two and a half years old our first son is not quite aware when we are talking about the topic. By the time we go to court for our second in a few months he may very well begin asking too or wanting to participate in the conversation. Thank you for sharing this...

 
At 1:52 AM, Blogger Kelli said...

I am so excited for all you, it is just too much!! Cannot wait for the day you say "SHE IS OURS!!! ALL OURS

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger Carey said...

Hi, Its so good to hear from you. Im so glad that things are going well, Im super excited for you! Keep us posted!

 
At 6:54 AM, Anonymous Pam said...

It sounds like you are doing an awesome job with the topic with the kids. Though I only know you through reading your blog, this is so exciting, that things are working out for you to permanently add Boo to your family.

 
At 7:28 AM, Blogger Kathleen said...

Isn't it amazing how God's creates families! Nothing is so cut and dry in His eyes. I am so SUPER happy for you. What an amazing blessing. Make sure you take pictures of the event! HUGS!

Oh, you were the first person to ever comment on my blog four + years ago when my life was in upheaval. Isn't it amazing how things turn around and how God does indeed bless all involved.

 
At 7:35 PM, OpenID bluecottonmemory said...

What an exciting time for you!You are indeed a blessed woman!

 
At 8:30 PM, Blogger Jacquie said...

How exciting for you guys!! Snuggle Bug and Boo are so very lucky!

 
At 10:57 AM, Anonymous chelle said...

So great that your dreams are becoming a reality. I remember reading your story about your first adoption, then the pain and disappointment of other situations.

I am so very happy for you and your family!

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger boysmum2 said...

He sounds like a well educated little boy and that is thanks to you and your hard work. He sees the good and bad of adoption and has you to thank for it. Well done, I am sure Boo will feel just the same in a loving family with you guys

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger Penny said...

So happy for you! Keep us posted!

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Erin said...

This is so exciting that you guys are finally so close!!! :)

 
At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Edie Mindell said...

Hi. I have read your post here and somehow felt a deeper sense of admiration for your family. You handle things pretty well, and I'm glad your kid also handled the issue pretty well. Goodluck to your next adoption.:-)

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger james said...

Hi..!!
Very Nice blog..

James….
Karachi city

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Gina Lind said...

Thanks for sharing that! We also talk about adoption a lot in our house, but I've wondered at what point they will understand. Your blog is awesome by the way!

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Kathleen said...

Was hoping for an update when I popped in. Keeping you all in our prayers. HUGS!

 

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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)


(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)


Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

The ball is rolling and picking up speed!
Relinquishment paperwork has been signed!
No paperwork signed yet.
A Time To Mourn
In case you're wondering...
Snow Day
Severance ruling overturned for Boo's case.
Baby Bug's 2nd birthday
I'm home from surgery!
Going into surgery tomorrow morning.
























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