Saturday, August 05, 2006
Public or Private?
I had an interesting discussion with a friend of mine (to be referred to as Darla) this morning. Let me provide some background before I go any further.
Oronzo got to know Darla before I did, through a library story time group. When he came home and told me that he'd met a single mom who had adopted her son (to be referred to as Jordan), I was excited! This was the first adoptive family we'd met in town and we hadn't even had to join an adoptive play group to accomplish this.
I made a point to get to know Darla and her son, Jordan, by inviting them to our house for play dates and arranging play dates at other places. Now, we interact with her and Jordan on a regular basis. She's a great woman and her son is adorable, he's just a few months older than Snuggle Bug. We have every intention of raising the boys to be long-time friends.
Darla adopted Jordan through the State and she's been very willing to answer my questions as I ponder the idea of one day adopting through the State myself. But, that's a discussion for another post.
This morning, we were with Darla and Jordan, taking the boys horseback riding at a nearby stable. While we were there, she excitedly told us about a private school she'd found out about that she was going to investigate further. She told us what she knew; you could enroll your child as early as 3 years old (part time or full time, it's your choice at that young age), it was pre-kindergarten through 8th grade, tuition was $3,000-$5,000 per year, and they boasted an unstructured learning environment that focused on an approach of play and creativity to learn. She thought it sounded fantastic and admitted that she didn't like the rigid structure of public school and had no intention of enrolling Jordan in public school.
We listened to what she was sharing, asking questions along the way, but making no commitments when she encouraged us to check out this school with her. At some point we'll have to share with her how we feel about public vs. private, but that didn't seem the right time with the horse riding activities going on.
So, how do we feel about public vs. private, you might ask?
Well, let me start off by saying we intend to enroll Snuggle Bug in a public elementary school. There’s one that’s only a few blocks from our house. We're told that it's currently rated in the top 5 elementary schools in our city. I'm not really sure what the ranking criteria are, but it sounds good. Not only that, but the grade school and the high school are also walking/biking distance from our house and they are touted as excellent within the school system.
But it's not just the convenient locations or the excellent rankings that are compelling us to send Snuggle Bug to public school, although those are important factors, it's probably most of all our own personal experiences that are motivating us.
I went to public school for my entire school career and had a pretty good experience. My teachers were approachable. They cared about their students. They were passionate about their subjects. They were more than willing to help any student that asked for it. I feel as though I got a well-rounded education that adequately prepared me for college. There were not a lot of drugs or violence in our schools and what little was there I managed to avoid without much effort.
Oronzo, on the other hand, was shipped off to a private boarding school in another state. He felt abandoned, isolated, and miserable in the beginning. Eventually he made friends and adjusted well enough, but overall he didn't appreciate private school life. In fact, his dyslexia was undiagnosed throughout grade school and high school, despite the fact that smaller classroom environments were offered in this private school. It wasn't until he got into college and a girlfriend recognized what was going on that he was diagnosed and received assistance. Up until then, he simply struggled painfully with his studies and had to deal with his father's frustration that he wasn't getting higher grades. Oh, and drugs were quite rampant in that small private school.
As a result of our personal experiences, we both agree that we want to give public school a try. We're firm believers that you get out of a situation what you put into it. We want Snuggle Bug's public school experience to be as positive as possible so we intend to be those annoyingly involved parents who volunteer time in the classroom as a classroom attendant, go to every extracurricular activity practice & game that Snuggle Bug is involved in, and volunteer in other ways as well. We're also firm believers that we have a responsibility at home to mold our child's value system, support him in his education, and help build his confidence level. I don't want to leave that all to a school, public or private, to handle.
Perhaps we're naive in our views because we haven't had a child in school yet, but we're saddened to hear some of our friends who feel that public school isn't good enough for their child. These parents are not even willing to give the public school system a chance. Is the public school system really so inadequate and evil in this day and age? Is there no redeeming quality to public school?
I'm interested to know, are you sending your child to public or private school? Maybe you're doing neither and you've decided to do home schooling. Whatever your decision, what led you to that decision and how's it going so far (if your child is old enough to be in school)?
39 Comments:
My challenge in my circle of friends is homeschool or public school. I have to agree with you...I am going to send my three sons to Public School. They are not old enough to be in school yet but that is what my plans are.
My husband and I both had an overall good experience in public schools as well. I think if we as parents are involved in our children's education that it will make all the difference. But that's just me.
Also Jesus has called to be salt and light to the world....how can I do that if they are home with me?
I can't speak from experience as a parent, but I can as a public school teacher. I teach high school, and my husband teaches middle school. Your child will do fine in public school. I can tell that by reading this post. Why? The children who succeed or fail in any school settings vary tremendously, but there is one overwhelming common factor-parental involvement. I have seen students from the lowest socio-economic level succeed, and I have seen the sons and daughters of privilege fail. The successful students have families that are involved. They value education. They feed their child breakfast and provide clean clothes. They make sure homework is completed. They may work multiple jobs to pay the rent, but their children know how important it is for them to do their best. Our schools are flawed, but they are also filled with people who want to help your child succeed. They just need to be met halfway. Sorry to go on for so long. Obviously this is a subject that is important to me.
If we live where we currently do when our daughter reaches school-age, we will either enroll her in a nearby charter school or homeschool her. The public schools in our district are not a place where we want her to be. Both safety and the quality of the schools in our district are questionable at best.
I went to public school for all but four years, after which I was homeschooled. Both experiences for me were favorable, but I especially liked the homeschooling as I am a quick learner and I could go at my own pace. We were really involved in church and with other homeschoolers in the area, so lack of socialization was never an issue.
My husband had experiences in both public and private schools. The private school experience was good, and one of the two public school experiences was good while the other was horrible. So I think it really depends on the school.
I am glad that my husband and I had a variety of school experiences, as I think it will help us make our decision for our kids. The end result for us is that we agree that when talking about public, private, or home schooling, either can be good or negative experiences depending on the school. I also agree with the commenter who talked about parental involvement as being a key factor to kids succeeding.
We homeschool our daugther, age 7. We have so many reasons why we chose to do so ( I actually posted on my blog many of the reason, one if the very first post). She did attend a public kindergarten (a charter school). It wasn't a bad experience by any means, but it did confirm that I could do a better job at home. She has excelled in homeschooling and we are both having a wonderful time. I get to spend those precious moments with her while she is still at that tender, influential age....I'm open to change, but right now I'm sticking with whats working...and homeschooling is definetly working for us! Good Luck!
My first two years of school were in a private pre-school, because the public preschool wasn't a nice place. From kindergarten to where I am now has been spent in public schools. My high school is in my state's top 10, and for the most part it's an okay school. Yes, there is drug use, a lot of kids drink, we do have some fights and other issues but I wouldn't go to a private school. The ones around my area have a lot more problems with drugs, drinking and fights. Plus in public school you get to meet more people, you are exposed to the upper class and the lower class.
Like everyone else said, being involved helps a lot. It'll show Snuggle Bug that you care how he does with school, and you care about him. I don't have kids but I don't think there is anything wrong with public schools (not that there is anything wrong with home schooling or private schools).
I went to public schools as did my daughters. My daughter is now a third grade teacher in a public school. The one thing I know for sure - parental involvement makes all the difference. It's the kids whose parents leave it all up to the teacher who struggle.
Kayla will be going to a public school...both of us went to public schools and didn't have any problems. I just don't think we could afford private anyway; but if the public school system we're in doesn't seem to be working out I would find a way to pay for private if that was a better option.
We send our daughter to public school. She likes it and so do we. So far we have had a solid academic experience. But it's more than that - public school can promote a sense of community - going to school with your neighbourhood friends, the kids you go to church with, play on soccer teams with. Private school can be filled with a variety of people (and that is great) from all over but maybe there isn't a greater sense of community - the community is the school. It's a hard question with a lot to think about. I guess it depends on what you want your child to learn.
For me it was economics, not a choice. The girls are doing quite well. I don't know if I would have done it differently if money hadn't been the deciding factor.
I'd like to think I'd support the public school and to my best to help them be better.
(Which is what I'm doing now).
Thanks for dropping and answering my Saturday Question. Aren't you glad it's impossible to scratch a back over the Internet? :o)
My children, ages 14 and 11, go to public school. There are problem teachers, behavior issues, drugs, apathy etc. in every school. Certainly if you're in the inner city where it has been proven that the schools in many cases are inadequate but the community has no choice but to utilize them, I'd say you're so right to go for it. I think kids are more a part of their community when they attend the local schools as well, which helps to round-out family life. If you're fortunate enough to have diverisity in your school, that will also benefit your son, and there would most likely be much less of that in anything private. Home schooling was never an option for me.
We homeschool. Noah will be in fourth grade (technically) next year and Madison, of course being only two, should continue her intense curriculum of dumping toys, scribbling on her hands and feet and annoying her brother.
We've got strong feelings and philosophies that led us to homeschooling but it was also about the kind of kid Noah is/was and the two things together brought us here and kept us here. That said, I don't think homeschooling (or public schooling or private schooling) is the be all and end all for every kid. As Snugglebug continues to grow and you get a better sense of his needs, you will feel more and more confident (hopefully!) about where he will best thrive. And the great thing is if public schooling (or homeschooling or private schooling) isn't working, it sounds like you have other options in your community.
In short, making decisions based on your family values and your kids and being flexible as your family's needs grow or change is going to give your child the education he needs/deserves. As thoughtful and involved as you are, I'm sure that he will have happy school memories regardless!!
No Children here, but I went to public schools my entire life and I turned out just fine.
I agree with Dawn I have very firm convictions about why we have chosen to homeschool our children. Thing 1 would be in Kindergaten this year - and for many reasons (among those our faith and his quirky personality) we feel that attending public school would squlech rather than grow his love for learning. We live in a GOOD school district - and the Elementary school is within walking distance in the homey lazy suburbs. I encourage you to think long and hard about whatever decsion you make - and know that if the one you make is NOT working out - that you have other options.
Pop on over sometime and check my archives from June and July - they will give you insight to why we chose this path.
We plan on sending your daughter to public school too. I have a few years to decide though!!
This weekend I am spreading warm and fuzzies ... I have been popping over to read your blog for a few months now. I started just as you started posting the journey you undertook to welcome Snugglebug into your lives. I was over taken with emotion and instantly felt a bond with you (although we are strangers and not in a stalking kind of way promise!) Your love for you family is amazing and I am honoured to be a part of it through reading your blog.
I, of course, don't have children in school anymore. Both of my own attended public schools. As many commenters have said, parental involvement is truly the key.
My daughter is a teacher, but sends her two boys to a private parochial school. Parental involvement is required and the children thrive..
My kids are going to the tiny local public school, largely for lack of great options. It's been mostly a good experience - the school itself does TERRIBLE on provincial testing, and there are some safety issues because public schools in Ontario really don't expell kids with behavioural problems anymore. Yep, there are severely disturbed 14 year olds at the same school as my 7 and 4 year old. Terrific, eh? And the school itself has made some decisions about what should be and shouldn't be shared with parents that I do NOT agree with. So overall - I am mixed.
Both my kids went to public schools. My son is in grade 12 next year..he has been a straight A student all along, as has my daughter. I credit the teachers for it. They were always approachable, and we were always involved, so that makes a difference...and kids in a private school without involved parents will fair no better than public school kids without involved parents.
My daughter is going to public school on base and my son will too when he is old enough. To me the fact that parents are involved means a LOT, no matter if you are in public or private school. I personally just want to know that my daughter goes to a good school with good teachers and a good atmosphere, if that doesn't happen, I'll be the first to pull her out. :)
I think you should do what your heart desires and not worry about what others may think....if public school is what you and your hubby want for your kids, then go for it :)
Have a great weekend,
Sandra
My opinion is in light of the fact that I am a public school special education teacher at the middle school level, I went to public school myself, and I teach in New Jersey where the public schools (for the most part) are considered excellent. I believe people do what is right and makes sense for their family based on values and finances. I feel public school is an ideal setting to educate a child and we will have our son in public school. However, especially as a special education teacher, I STRONGLY believe that parents need to be deeply involved in their child's education. It can't be all on the school and teachers. I see students who struggle and, unfortunately, need to put in twice the time and effort in order to even be on grade level. Parental involvement is KEY to any child's success.
I admit, a child may be able to learn more being homeschooled since he or she is in a small setting with individualized attention. Private school, on the other hand, has nothing on the public school system in my opinion.
I send Madison to public schools. I went to public schools. My step brother and sister went to private schools. We all turned out great. I had a little more independance. They were kept under a more strict leash than me. But bottom line we all have great lives and are loving, caring people. I would say pray about it and he will guide your way.
Jen
We attended public school. Our 3 children attended public school, except for one year by one of our daughters. We didnt consider that year to be a success for her. Not knocking private school at all, it just wasnt the best choice for her. We eventually decided to send them to public school and private christian college, since we felt that was a time in their lives when they were making big decisions that would shape their adult lives, like the choice of a mate, career, etc. We spent our money there. I agree with Barb, parents being involved in whichever choice they make is vital.
Honestly we don't know which we will be doing. Our baby is coming up on a year, so we've got awhile. I attended a public school and my hubby a private school. We both turned out just fine, and we were both educated. We don't know what we think about the issue yet either!
JRG301@YAHOO.COM
JEN
My daughter went to a private school for Kindergarten, and frankly didn't learn a thing. I don't blame that on private schools though, just that one, who was teaching the same things all the kids already learned in pre-school. We then moved to this very small town that we live in now, and I wanted her friends from Church to be her friends at school also. The nearest private school is 15 minutes away in the next town. the public elementary school here is wonderful. The teahcers have been wonderful as well, and yes, I'm one of those annoying mom's that always at the school too. My daughter has had nothing but wonderful experiences since we've moved here. I think that if we ever lived in a big city, I would probably change to private, because in my mind, that would shelter her a little more than a big city public school. I was soo glad to hear you say that you know it's you job as a parent too, and you don't expect the school to do everything. My husband wrote an article in our newspaper about that same thing when he was told that he had "failed a child" by a mother who was not helping her child with his homework at all, and expecting my husband (who was just a tutor one hour a week) to do everything for this child, and make sure his grades went up!!!
We've talked about it and Dadguy and I both agree that unless we move someplace with a horrible public system that is completely unchangeably bad, we will go public. I agree with your solution to be highly involved, that way if there ARE any problems or weaknesses, you can head them off at the pass.
Not that private would ever be an option... we have three kids and plan on having one more eventually... private school tuition, on one income? Nope, that's just not gonna work unless he copyrights some hunk of uber-cool code that everyone wants to buy. Our other choice would have to be homeschool.
Well we are sending our kids to a public school but that doesn't mean we are against private schools...I think private schools can be good for some kids while public schools are good for others...it just depends on the situation. Me and my husband both went to public schools and we came out fine so that is what we are hoping for our kids too!
I think it all depends on the type of kids you have. However, I'm a strong believer in public schools. We plan on sending our kids to public schools because I want them to be with kids that are different than them. I don't want them to only have wealthy/chrisitan/white/etc. peers. I don't think this is very possible in a private or homeschool setting.
Wow! You've probably opened a can of worms, huh?! Personally, Jon and I were both raised in public schools and we really feel that we turned out a-ok. Our biggest reason for sending Devyn to a public school though, is similar to Amy's comment above. We want them to have the diversity that public schools offer, it'll be our job to teach them right from wrong, and how to best handle each situation. But that's just my two cents!
Well, if we were sending our children to school, we would send them to parochial school (your parish school). We both were schooled in a parochial school environment and benefited immensely.
We have chosen to homeschool for the first several years for a variety of reasons, most of all the quality and style of education we feel we can offer our children is in our opinion far more ammenable for our children than any other style of education we have encountered.
I will blog about this at length at some point. It will likely have to be a 3 or 4 part blog due to my MANY thoughts on homeschooling and why I want it for our family.
Anyways, that all being said (since you asked what we would do), I think it is essential to make a choice and dive in. You know, really EMBRACE your choice. It is, after all, YOURS. I do not think we can live our lives attempting to please the masses of our family and friends. Goodness knows that our homeschooling is not the popular choice among our closest friends and get this: ALL of our family is educators! SO, this really goes against the grain for them. Alas, it is with great joy and courage that I stand up and OWN our choice.
Oh, and I am also really big on re-evaluating every year or two because your child's needs and/or your family dynamics may change in such a way that schooling is called to change and adapt as well. That is why we have committed only to the next couple years of homeschooling and then we will re-evaluate.
Just wanted to add that tidbit!
Wow! Lots of comments here! When our girls are old enough we will be either sending them to a Christian school (I don't just say private because there is a difference in them where we live) or we will be homeschooling if the expense is too high. I agree with the comments before mine that you have to decide what is best for you and your reasonings behind what you're doing. You really have to know your kids well enough to know what is best for them too. As Eagles Wings Mommy said in the first comment - we are called to be the salt and light of the world, but not all kids can handle that big of a responsibility at a young age. You just have to know if your kids can. I was talking to someone the other day and her daughter is going into Jr. High and they've decided to send her to a private school because they felt she (unlike their other children that are through Jr. High) is a follower, one that would fall easier into peer pressure - and although there is peer pressure anywhere, they felt it would be better at this particular private school (I realize that is not always the case) I told her that I respected the fact that she was involved with her kids to know that. Even if we teach our kids right from wrong that doesn't mean they will always make the right decisions. Like others have said, with constant involvement maybe that's something you will notice right away. I feel that you do have to know what is best for your family, be completely involved no matter where they are, and do it without feeling you have to defend yourself to others.
I have three children. We have had our children in public school, private school and homeschool. I am the least happy with public school. My middle child was left to flounder so badly that she fell way behind. As a result she is being homeschooled this year. She should be going into 4th grade and instead she can only read at a first grade level and can barely make in in a second grade classroom.
I was highly involved in her school as a classroom volunteer, member of the PTA, even sitting on different boards so I would have a better idea how the school operated. Nothing worked. They call these children shadow children or twilight kids. Every school has them. They're the ones that dont qualify for special Ed or the gifted programs but neither can they keep up in the regular classroom. They are shoved through until high school. 73% of the shadow children never graduate.
As I watched my child slip deeper into the system I had no choice but to pull her out last spring term and homeschool her.
My oldest daughter went 6 years to public school then was pulled out and sent to private school for her highschool years.
My now five year old son went to private school preschool last year and this year he will be homeschooling with his sister.
We have tried it all. Nothing beats homeschooling.
Those of you voicing your opinions who have never sent kids to school yet let me caution you to be flexible. Life doesnt always throw us roses and sunshine. It's very naive to think you have the answers to what school is right for your kids when they grow up. What you think now may be entirely different as the years go by and real life hits the fan.
I'm not pointing a finger at anyone here I'm just lovingly saying that if you havent been there yet be careful!
I agree with Faith, you have to find what is best for your family and it may not be the choice you always thought.
I was a public school teacher for many years and swore that was the road I would take BUT we are now in a declining neighborhood with much drug and domestic violence crime (they list arrests in local paper) and although I take test scores with a huge grain of salt, the school is in the lower ten percent of our school system. We found an affordable private school and my son will start there next week. I just took a hard look at the kids he was going to be surrounded by all day long and decided that I didn't want him exposed to those behaviors at such a young age and next year when we may not be able to afford all day private school I am looking into homeschooling unless we move.
BUT, if we lived in a nicer neighborhood I would send him to public school. They get so much more funding and have so many extras that most private schools cannot compete with. I have always thought that the teacher makes the education so my advice would be get involved early and get to know the teachers so you can request a good one each year.
We have our children enrolled in public school. Our oldest is in college and doing very well. Along the way we have had problems with public school and almost decided to home school. In the end we decided that the pros outweighed the cons and kept them in public school.
Having said all that I also began to do in home schooling for after hours. To encourage my children to love learning and to see that there is stuff to be learned all the time and all around us. Sometimes they are more receptive than others but overall I think this has been a good balance for us. Additionally I have been a VERY active advocate for my children in their schools. If I saw a problem I went to the school and talked to them about it. Sometimes they were receptive and sometimes they weren't. But I made sure they knew that I was doing this because my only goal is to help them understand my child so that they can help her learn to the best of her abilities.
I believe there is no easy answer to this question you need to find the balance that works well for you. As long as you are doing what you believe is in the best interests of your child and you are fully committed to ensuring that their learning experience is the best that it can be it doesn't matter if it is home school, private or public. They're learning, that's what truly matters.
Personally, we are going to homeschool our son.
Both hubbie and I disliked elementary public. He went to a private high, I went to public high.
We're open to highschool options, but at this point, elementary education will be done at home.
I am a supporter of public schools--not only because my husband is a teacher--but I do feel they do a great job overall. But it really does depend on the school district. I would never send my kids to the big city public school system near where I live because of the misbehavior it tolerates in an effort to not seem racist (It is a bad situation, my husband had worked in it and it is like the administrators are afraid of punishing the students for bad behavior because they rightfully fear accusations of racism so they can't get rid. However, the s of the troublemakers, so the regular kids see that nothing is done if you act up, so they act up, too, and the classrooms are hopelessly interrupted in a vicious cycle).But many of the suburban school districts, even districts that are small and do not have much money like where my husband works, do a great job because they are consistent, the teachers are excellent and dedicated (you don't take that kind of work for that little pay unless you are dedicated), and the kids are constantly challenged. We live in a district that goes out of its way to see that the children's needs are met. The teachers go above and beyond the classroom duties to teache their students. People do not realize just how challenging it is to maintain order , much less teach, thirty of other people's children all day. In addition, teachers in public schools are licensed professionals who are required to keep their teaching credentials current through continuing education throughout the year. Many public schools do not require teachers to be licensed and they do not have to perform to the same standards and scrutiny that public schools must. Most public schools have no accountability whatsoever. Finally, personally, I have attended both public and private schools and the public were definitely better. The teachers were better, the curriculum was more diverse, the students were kinder. Overall, public schools are not perfect, but I do not feel they deserve the bad rep they get at all.
Sorry for getting on my soap box here.
I had a horrible public school experience, mostly beacause of the students. We put our kids in private school until our oldest finished third grade and them pulled him out to homeschool. We're starting our third year homeschooling and will probably do it up until highschool. Then it's back to the question, public or private.
Read your post over at Writer... Interrupted. You should definitely consider Home-schooling as well. I'm certain that you could do a fantastic job! Feel free to email if you'd like to chat about it.
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