Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Adoption #2- a lead through the State
Do you ever feel confused about the path that God wants you to follow? I'm feeling extremely confused right now.
Not long ago I wrote a post, Adoption #2- considering the State. In this post I talked about exploring the option of adopting through the foster-to-adopt program. Oronzo and I attended an orientation and I walked away feeling as though the emotional risks were too high for me to handle. Oronzo respected my decision not to persue adoption through the State at this time. I thought that was the end of the subject for a while.
Well, today we got a call from a good friend of ours who adopted her son through the State. She was calling to tell us that one of her friends has been placed with a newborn baby girl just yesterday and they're unable to adopt this child because they're moving to Alaska in 5 months. All they can do is provide a foster home for this baby. Once they move, the baby will be put back in the system.
All our friend could tell us about this situation is that the baby's mother has had 3 other children taken away from her and there's a very high probability that this baby girl will be taken from her as well, and that it probably won't take even a year for this mother's rights to be terminated.
Our friend is strongly encouraging us to get certified through the State so that this baby can be given to us by the time that her friends move to Alaska.
We've met the couple who is fostering this baby girl. Their son, also adopted through the State, has been in various playgroups with Snuggle Bug. They're a very nice family and I know this baby girl would be very well taken care of by them while she's in their home. In fact, we'd be able to visit this baby girl frequently while we were in the process of getting licensed through the State.
Is God trying to tell me that adopting through the State is the way we should go and that I need to open my heart to this option?
Here are my concerns:
1) Oronzo is scheduled to interview for a job in Nebraska, in the very city where 2 of my siblings live, on 11 January. I'm praying he gets the right job offer and we can move closer to my family. Although he's willing to consider such a possibility, he's not thrilled about moving to Nebraska and away from his family. Still, he's said that if the offer is right and the company seems to be a good one, he'll do it (he was the one that applied for the job initially with no prompting from me, I didn't find out until after the fact). He's told me, "We've lived near my family for the past 10 years, I'd be okay with moving close to your family now. I know it'd make you happy."
2) Can I get over my fears of the emotional risks to try adopting through the State? I'm not sure that there's any guarantee that the baby girl in question would be allowed to go to us even after we're certified. There's a good chance that she would, but no guarantees.
3) How would I feel with just visiting this baby girl for 5-6 months, not being able to mother her and care for her, in the hopes that I'd be allowed to adopt her?
Ugh, these decisions are so difficult! I guess I should be thankful these leads are presenting themselves to us. At this rate, we're bound to find a second child soon, one way or another!