Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Adoption #2- a lead through the State
Do you ever feel confused about the path that God wants you to follow? I'm feeling extremely confused right now.
Not long ago I wrote a post, Adoption #2- considering the State. In this post I talked about exploring the option of adopting through the foster-to-adopt program. Oronzo and I attended an orientation and I walked away feeling as though the emotional risks were too high for me to handle. Oronzo respected my decision not to persue adoption through the State at this time. I thought that was the end of the subject for a while.
Well, today we got a call from a good friend of ours who adopted her son through the State. She was calling to tell us that one of her friends has been placed with a newborn baby girl just yesterday and they're unable to adopt this child because they're moving to Alaska in 5 months. All they can do is provide a foster home for this baby. Once they move, the baby will be put back in the system.
All our friend could tell us about this situation is that the baby's mother has had 3 other children taken away from her and there's a very high probability that this baby girl will be taken from her as well, and that it probably won't take even a year for this mother's rights to be terminated.
Our friend is strongly encouraging us to get certified through the State so that this baby can be given to us by the time that her friends move to Alaska.
We've met the couple who is fostering this baby girl. Their son, also adopted through the State, has been in various playgroups with Snuggle Bug. They're a very nice family and I know this baby girl would be very well taken care of by them while she's in their home. In fact, we'd be able to visit this baby girl frequently while we were in the process of getting licensed through the State.
Is God trying to tell me that adopting through the State is the way we should go and that I need to open my heart to this option?
Here are my concerns:
1) Oronzo is scheduled to interview for a job in Nebraska, in the very city where 2 of my siblings live, on 11 January. I'm praying he gets the right job offer and we can move closer to my family. Although he's willing to consider such a possibility, he's not thrilled about moving to Nebraska and away from his family. Still, he's said that if the offer is right and the company seems to be a good one, he'll do it (he was the one that applied for the job initially with no prompting from me, I didn't find out until after the fact). He's told me, "We've lived near my family for the past 10 years, I'd be okay with moving close to your family now. I know it'd make you happy."
2) Can I get over my fears of the emotional risks to try adopting through the State? I'm not sure that there's any guarantee that the baby girl in question would be allowed to go to us even after we're certified. There's a good chance that she would, but no guarantees.
3) How would I feel with just visiting this baby girl for 5-6 months, not being able to mother her and care for her, in the hopes that I'd be allowed to adopt her?
Ugh, these decisions are so difficult! I guess I should be thankful these leads are presenting themselves to us. At this rate, we're bound to find a second child soon, one way or another!
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, baby, family, parenting
15 Comments:
I will pray that you make the right decisions here! I know a family who is in our church that have adopted 3 children through the state and each one went through smoothly. I know there are no guarantee's but God will make it clear.
Oh gosh, such a hard decision! Right after we had our failed match in 2003, we received word about a young sibling pair that were being placed and did we want to go through the state process to do that.
In the end, we decided a sibling pair off the bat was more than we had anticipated, so we stuck with the agency infant program.
I will be praying for you and your decision.
Dear Lord, we bring OW's fears to you knowing that you have a plan. It is hard to see the direction you desire for them to go-so until you say go this way-remind us to BE STILL AND KNOW YOU ARE GOD and remind us that you HAVE A PLAN-TO BRING US HOPE AND A FUTURE. Lord there is nothing better than seeing you move and direct our lives so we ask that you cleary guide them right now as they make some pretty big decisions. Bless them with a child to love and raise as their own. We need more people like OW and her husband-willing to make good homes for kids who need them.
Thank you Lord for all that you have done and all that you are going to do!
In your most precious name!
Amen!
Oh this does sound like a promising lead. Just think that in the time it takes to become certified, you will get the chance to see what the biological mother is going to do with her service plan. Based on history, not too likely that she will comply with what is required. Good luck and I will praying for your family during this time.
Aren't you most thankful for the loyal readers who are believers?
That's the most important thing..we will stand with you in your desires, God says he gives us the desires.
This lead does sound very promising! I can understand your reservations about getting emotionally involved and not knowing you'll be able to adopt her, but it does sound like something to look further into! You're in my prayers!
I read your post and my gut says you have to go for it. That's just my gut talking.
Wouldn't do any harm just to start the ball rolling to get certified, would it? Sounds exciting though. You'll all be in my prayers.
I am saying a prayer that whatever you decide will be the best for your family. God has a plan, and you will know what the right decision is. My cousin and his wife went through the state, and were foster to adopt. I know they were a nervous wreck until everything was finalized even though they knew (99% positive) that the mother wouldn't change her mind. But you always worry, how could you not. They are still going through the state to adopt #2 and feel comfortable with their decision.
I find in these circumstances, one step at a time, leads us to the path we were meant to take. Try to have a lot of quiet calm time to listen too.
It can't hurt to proceed cautiously and see where it takes your family.
Totally sending you quiet vibes so you can lead the way.
It wouldn't hurt to start the certification process. Think of it as opening one more door of possibilities. You can then see where it leads you.
Good luck!
Oh, I will be praying....
I am praying for you. Larry and I have been through the foster-adoption program here but decided not to foster kids as well, you know our story with our daughter and grandbaby...but it doesn't hurt to go through it...you don't have to follow through if you don't want to of course. Hugs and Prayers!
wow. Sounds like I very tough decision. We have also considered fostering to adopt, but the emotional risks are really scary. This situation does sound a little more promising though. I pray you guys make the right decision.
Do you people honestly think that God plans for a woman to have four children taken away from her? How sick is that?
Poor woman,can you just imagine what her childhood must have been like? And how much pain she must suffer having failed four children?
What emotional risks are there in a foster adopt situation that you don't have in an adoption anyway?
I am going to pray for that poor mother if it's ok with you.
You seem to be having a wonderful life, and I hope all your wishes will come true.
I really don't think God has anything to do with adoptions, it's all done by us stupid humans.
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