Monday, March 12, 2007
I have a confession to make.

Yes, that's right, we're not moving after all, despite all the reasons I gave for needing to in my We're teetering on the edge of a cliff post last month.

So, let me just list the reasons why we are now not moving:

1) Oronzo has won some fairly large paying contract bids as of late, and it's looking as though if we stay we can stash a good chunk of change away to ride out the leaner months that we might be facing later with the unpredictability of contract work. If all works out as planned within the next few months, just based on the contract work he's doing right now, we'll be able to stash away about a year's worth of cushion. And as he gets more contract work this year, we'll be adding to that stash.

2) We found out that we'd be loosing close to $20,000 to sell our house! The housing market has taken a real nose dive here since we bought our house and, although the realtors that we talked to said it's slowly making a comeback, we're looking at least another year before we wouldn't have to sell it at a loss! We love our house, we put a lot of work (and love) into remodeling it when we bought it a year and a half ago. We might have been able to come up with the $20,000 required to sell it at a loss (thanks to Oronzo's good paying contracts at the moment) but we still would've had to rent for at least a year in Nebraska as we scrambled to save up for another 20% down payment on a new house.

3) Our efforts to adopt would've been delayed at least a year due to having to save up money for a down payment on a new house. We also would've had a tough time getting time off of work to spend with a new baby with both Oronzo and I starting brand new jobs. You have to be employed at least a year before Family Medical Leave kicks in.

4) Neither of us were comfortable with putting Snuggle Bug in full-time daycare and the idea of me dropping down to part time after a year of working FT wasn't looking very realistic. And the idea of putting a brand new baby into daycare right away really broke our hearts. Oronzo was really struggling with the concept of going from spending 12 hours a day with Snuggle Bug to spending 2-3 hours a day with his son. He loves being a work-from-home dad and I love knowing that my child is being cared for by a loving parent.

5) The FT job for Oronzo in Nebraska seemed great, but in light of getting more contract work that would allow him to continue to work for himself and set his own hours, it wasn't quite as appealing as he first thought. Giving up my great job to find a new one in Nebraska was also feeling rather unappealing.

So, Oronzo has informed the company that he won't be accepting their position after all. They were disappointed but said that they understood. I had the very difficult task of telling all of my family that I wouldn't be moving back as planned. Giving up my dream, at least for now, of living close to my family has been the hardest part of this decision to stay. I was emotional, to say the least, when I had to tell my family we were staying. Every one of them were extremely supportive, despite their obvious disappointment. They've promised to do their best to come out here for Christmas.

We've let our friends here know that we're staying and they're all thrilled. We have yet to inform Oronzo's family. I'm leaving that to Oronzo to do. After Paige's nasty tough love conversation with Oronzo, we're almost feeling resentful at the fact that our staying means Paige will feel as though her conversation was what convinced us to stay, when in truth her conversation made absolutely no difference at all! If anything, it's made us more inclined to put up boundaries and keep her at bay.

Now that we're staying, we have to be even more diligent at budgeting and saving. We've got a list of home improvement projects that we know would have to be done if we ever want to successfully sell our house (thanks to the realtor we chose to sell our house), so we'll slowly be working on those improvements. We've also decided to start pursuing a second adoption sooner, rather than later, so be prepared to hear more on that topic in the near future.

Oh, and now that we're staying, Michelle can come visit us! Let's plan a visit before this year ends, okay Michelle? :)

Please say a prayer for Oronzo, that his contract business continues to grow and provides adequately for our family. Thank you so much!

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6:37 AM

At 7:59 AM, Blogger Blessed Assurances said...

God has a plan, I am certain. I will continue to pray

At 8:06 AM, Anonymous chelle said...

I am glad you all could come to a place where the entire family is happy. Being at home with your children is such a blessing I can totally relate that your husband wants to find a way to hang onto that.

You sounds really happy with your decision!

At 8:31 AM, Blogger Dawn said...

It is so wonderful that your way becomes more and more clear with every step. :)

At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

It sounds like the right decision to me. We are probably going to take about the same amount of loss on selling our home but we have to sell. Blech.

At 9:04 AM, Blogger Stacey said...

You sound very peaceful. I am glad that you all had some insight into the nitty-gritty and made a decision you both can be happy with. I am also glad for Oronzo's contracts!! What a great thing!
And ofcourse, I am glad for your ability to pursue a 2nd adoption sooner rather than later!

At 9:13 AM, Blogger ~Melissa~ said...

It sounds like things cleared up for you and you are on the right path! I'm glad Oronzo has gotten some good contracts!

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Joyful Days said...

I am so glad for you that things worked out the way they did. Moving can be exciting but so stressful. Staying put has its advantages. When the right time comes you will know. Praying for Oronzo's contracts, for family relationships and boundaries, for you and SnuggleBug & Newbaby.


At 1:13 PM, Blogger An Ordinary Mom said...

God works in mysterious ways, but His ways always work. I am so glad things seem so clear to you, and I bet they would never have been so clear if you hadn't of made your first decision to leave. You might have always wondered what if? Well, now you know :) !!

Congrats on the stay!

At 1:45 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Sounds like everything sure was falling into place for you to stay! Losing that much on selling the house would be a deal-breaker for me! Especially after all the work you put into it! What a blessing that Oronzo was able to get some big contracts to help with finances! I know it was killing you to make a decision to put snugglebug in day care; and now you won't have to put off the adoption process either. Although I'm sure it was hard for your side of the family to hear the news, at least they are understanding about it.

And now that you've called me out on a visit I guess I better make it happen :) Joe was thinking a 3 or 4-day holiday weekend - maybe Labor Day?

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Munchkin Land said...

It sounds as though a lot of thought, discussion, and prayer went into this decision. You're making the best one for your family!! Sometimes, God put those niggling doubts there for a reason. I'm glad everyone is at peace with this decision...

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Magi said...

Things work out as they're meant to, and it sounds like that may be the case here. Congratulations on knowing. It's the indecision that's the worst.

At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Tammy and Parker said...

I think things have worked out quite well for you guys!

I've missed you! I finally have a computer that works. Yea! And so I'm back to being able to visit AND post!

I'm excited to hear about future adoption plans!

At 5:09 PM, Blogger Barb said...

All very good reasons to not make the move. You sound very happy about the decision. Things with his sister will settle down eventually. She'll eventually realize she overstepped her bounds.

How wonderful all this new work came his way, just when you needed it to.

At 7:02 PM, Blogger Lori said...

Well, it sounds like you are at peace with your decision, other than missing your family in NE. Your reasons for staying put seem overwhelmingly positive!

I understand that little kernel of resentment towards the SIL. Oh, how I understand. I seethed just a little when I read your earlier post about her. But sometimes the best way to put someone in check is to just be the bigger person.

I'll keep you all in my prayers! I can't wait to hear the direction your next adoption goes.

At 7:19 PM, Blogger Angel said...

It sounds to me like an incredibly wise decision. I love your hubby's heart to be with the children. Sounds like you guys have your priorities right where they should be. I know that must have been a really tough decision to make. Angel

At 7:57 PM, Blogger My name is Dianna said...

It seems that you and your dh are walking in a state of grace! God bless you. Thank you for being human and sharing! I really sense the Lord in your decision! Thank God for His provision!

Lord, heep blessings upon you both and mark all the steps that need to be taken to glorify you as you work, live and prepare your hearts for the perfect child He's picked for you. Give you peace, love and forgiveness in dealing with anyone whose opinions are offered during your time of discernment.
I,pray that you eyes would only see the cross in those that may seem to control you as you seek Gods will!

Overwhelmed, I have relationships that anger me to no end and the Lord has recently asked me to pray for those people, to better love and serve them, everytime I wash dishes. (which is alot, 5 mins. here-15 mins there, it really adds up) It helps! God shows His infinite mercy for me, while I pray to extend mercy to those I pray for, through such a teeny-tiny offering.

At 5:49 AM, Blogger Laura said...

You seem relieved. Right at the bottom of your heart you didn't want to move. I seem very happy and confident. For sure everything is going to be all right and Oronzo will get many businesses opportunities. Best of luck.

At 6:59 PM, Blogger abebech said...

Wow! I'm sorry you won't be with your family, but it seems like such a sound decision, and it's coming out of such a great turn of professional events.

At 5:20 AM, Blogger A Bishops wife said...

Hello, I asm a first time reader. Beautiful blog. My hibby is a stay at home dad too.


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

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