Thursday, February 22, 2007
We're teetering on the edge of a cliff!
Be prepared for a lengthy post. I've got issues!

Oronzo and I feel as though we're teetering on the edge of a steep cliff, trying not to tumble off and smash into broken pieces on the rocks below.

There's sudden turmoil in our life, and it all stems from a job offer that has been extended to Oronzo. Let me explain.

For the past 2 years, Oronzo has been a stay-at-home daddy, taking care of Snuggle Bug and doing contract work from home. Emotionally, it's been fantastic! Although I wished I could be the one staying home with Snuggle Bug, my type of work has never allowed for that, while Oronzo's has. My comfort has been that his daddy, rather than a daycare stranger, is lovingly caring for Snuggle Bug.

So, emotionally, things have been fantastic! Financially, not so well. We've been managing to make ends meet, but sometimes just barely. My steady income certainly doesn't cover all the bills and Oronzo's contract work has been rather up and down, sometimes more down than up (through no fault of his own, Oronzo is the most motivated individual I know). And what's really frustrating is when he does a lot of work for a client, sometimes that client takes 120 days, or longer to pay their invoice and Oronzo has to hound them to try to collect. That's been rather unpleasant. So, we've been getting by, but not getting ahead. And with a second adoption on the horizon, we realize now more than ever that something’s got to give.

So, Oronzo started hunting for a FT job. He searched high and low in our city and surrounding areas but the market for his field has never been that good here. He began expanding his search to other states and decided to look at Nebraska, since most of my family lives there. Low and behold, he found a position that he was qualified for, he interviewed with the company that had the opening, and after 6 long weeks of waiting, the company extended him an offer.

The offer was decent but it wasn't as nice as we'd hoped it would be. We were hoping it'd be higher so that there'd be no question about me being able to stay home with Snuggle Bug and baby #2. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Although we'll be better off financially and we'll certainly have more stability, as well as a much better benefits package, I will still have to work FT for at least another year to play catch up and meet our long-term financial goals. Even my ideas of an in-home business will not be realized right away.

The gist of all this is that we have spent the past few days AGONIZING as to whether or not to accept this position and move to Nebraska. There have been many late night discussions, many tears shed, and even a PROS and CONS list thrown together over dinner one night, which really didn't seem to help us much with deciding.

Moving means giving up so much...it means leaving the city where Oronzo went to college, where his sisters live, where we met, dated, and became engaged, where Snuggle Bug was born and entrusted into our forever family, where he was baptized into the Catholic faith, where we have a close-knit circle of friends, where we have a beloved house (that we poured lots of love and labor into fixing up) in a fantastic neighborhood just walking distance from an excellent elementary school, where we've made friends with some very dear neighbors, where we only have to drive 2 hours to visit Oronzo's parents on their small ranch. I could go on and on but I think you get the point. The scariest part of moving means putting Snuggle Bug in daycare for at least a year. This alone is such a huge sacrifice for our family. My heart aches at the thought of it!

On the positive side, moving means more financial stability; it means that Oronzo will be in a senior level position being groomed for management. It means better chances of being able to adopt again. It means being closer to my family (Snuggle Bug will have many more aunts/uncles/cousins in NE to spoil him). It means that Oronzo will have more opportunities to pursue his passion of flying (he's a private pilot). It means a fresh new start and sometimes that can be exciting.

So, what did we decide? Well, we decided to take the plunge, accept the offer, and move to Nebraska. Oddly, even after making this decision, I still find myself weepy at times. It was SO HARD to make this decision because, other than the job/work situation, things have been really great here and we have so many good memories here in this city!

I can't help but wonder, did we make the right decision for the right reasons? Will our house sell at the price that we need it to in this buyers market? Will Snuggle Bug be okay with this transition? Will Oronzo and I? Will I be able to set proper boundaries with my large family to ensure that the needs of my small family come first? Is Oronzo sacrificing too much?

Now that the decision has been made, I'm trying to quell these doubts and commit myself to this course of action. I'm trying desperately to keep a positive attitude about it all. I've got a "moving task list" a mile long and everything on it needs to be done before we leave town on 22 March, so I don't have time to feel sad and mopey about it all. Oronzo's first day at work is 26 March. It's all happening so fast!

So, dear blogger friends, if you've made it through my long, long post, I implore you to offer up prayers and words of support and encouragement for our family. We certainly would appreciate them! In fact, if you wouldn't mind expressing your prayer in my comments section, I think I would draw much comfort from being able to read them. I firmly believe in the miraculous power of prayer!

Thank you so much for allowing me to sort through these conflicting emotions by blogging. It helps so very much!

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6:00 AM
29 comments


29 Comments:
At 9:44 PM, Blogger Dawn said...

Congratulations on taking the next step into a new phase of your life! Sure, it'll be hard but it sounds like the rewards will be many!

 
At 10:29 PM, Anonymous chelle said...

Congrats! The decision part is usually the hardest ... the relief of knowing what is happening next will sink in and it will all be wonderful!

HUGS

 
At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Jill said...

Congrats!!! I know that things will turn out beautifully for you and your family. I would tell you not to worry, but I know how hard that is. Just keep your chin up, and think of the wonderful journey you are about to embark on!

 
At 1:40 AM, Blogger Awesome Mom said...

Congratulations! It will be a crazy adventure but I am sure that your new home will have many lovely people to meet. We are facing the possibility of a move in the near future so I know how agonizing the decision can be.

 
At 7:42 AM, Anonymous Mike said...

Everything will be OK. And don't worry about Snuggle Bug. He'll meet and make friends his age in daycare (and that is always good for him).

Keep the faith. And have fun.


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger Magi said...

I'm the queen of moving. It will be okay. Snugglebug will adjust to daycare. It will probably be harder for you and Oronzo than him. He'll get to play with new friends and learn new exciting things.

It sounds like you both put a lot of thought into this decision, and there were an awful lot of pluses in your list.

I'd move tomorrow to be closer to my family.

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger ChupieandJ'smama said...

I had a whole huge, pesonal, heart felt post composed and blogger ate it. Basically I said to give to God. You made a decision that you feel is in the best interest of your family and that's all you can do. I'm praying for you and I truly believe that God will take care of you all.

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Becky said...

I will pray that you may find peace with your decision. That your family will have a smooth transition. That your house will sell for what you need it to. And, that your hearts will be Overwhelmed with Joy once you settle in and realize that you definitely made the right decision! :)
Congratulations on the new job and best wishes on the move!

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger Joyful Days said...

This lurker will lift up prayers for you. Having been through many moves and job upheavals, I can empathize.

Praying your desire to stay at home with Snuggle Bug and baby #2 are met sooner than you can see as doable now. Praying your family allows you to keep the boundaries you need. Praying your move is smooth and all housing needs are met and exceeded beyond your dreams. Praying for your peace of heart and mind.

Blessings of peace,
In Him,

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Laurel Wreath said...

Congrats, I know it will be with mixed feelings, but look at this as an awesome adventure in life. New avenues to explore, new people to met, it will be awesome. praying everything goes smoothly for you.

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger Barb said...

I know just how you feel, OW. It was a huge leap of faith when after living in the same small town on the eastern side of the Rockies for 25 years, we packed it all up and came out west.

It's the best thing we ever did.

The one thing in your pros and cons list that jumped right out at me is that this move will make a second adoption easier. For that reason alone, it's worth it.

I know how you ache at the thought of putting Snuggle Bug into daycare, too. I had some horrible emotions when Krissy made the decision to put my little grandson into daycare a couple of days a week. It's was absolutely the right thing to do. He loves it and we see a huge change in his social skills.

This all sounds good to me. It sounds like a win-win situation. And it's a blessing that you'll still be near family, as long as you DO set those boundaries, right from the beginning.

I'm excited for you!

 
At 11:26 AM, Anonymous Ann said...

Sending prayers for peace and that God will confirm you in your decision!
One great thing that won't change with your move, is that your blogging community will stay intact!!

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger An Ordinary Mom said...

Oh my! It sounds like you have an overly full plate right now! However, with that being said it sounds like you have made the best decision for you and your family. You really can't go wrong if you have prayed about it and felt like you are heading in the right direction. Just keep having faith.

Daycare for Snugglebug might be hard at first, but if you find a good one, I am sure it will help with the transition. At least it is only temporary ... keep that in mind.

Congrats on the upcoming changes in your life. It might be hard now, but it sounds like it will be great in the long run!

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Larae said...

I'm so happy you two were able to make a decision. Don't worry if it was the right one or not, what's meant to be WILL be. I know it's easier said than done..I have bene in the same position when I left my beloved state of Texas to move up North here. I just told myself that it doesn't have to be "forever"...because it doesn't. A few years spent there and if ya'll really don't like it, you can always move back or somewhere else!
Always remember that when God brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it!

I'm so excited for you and your family, congratulations on the changes in your life. My prayers are with you all!

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger crygibb said...

Congrats on the new job. I will be praying for you and your family that the move will go smoothly and find a wonderful new place to move filled with new memories and lots of new friends. I also pray that your hubby enjoys his job, and that it won't be a stressful one. I pray for your safety and wisdom. All things are possible with God by your side.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Tracey said...

Moving is stressful no matter what your situation is. I'm happy you guys came to the decision, and are happy about it. Goodluck in everything that goes with it. I hope it's all smooth!

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger AMH said...

Congrats on making the leap!!! Sounds like you are starting a new chapter in your life. I honestly believe that things happen for a reason, and perhaps there is something in store for you in your new phase of life!

We are in a similar situation... I am freelancing from home, and hubby is working full-time. We are just barely making ends meet. And clients who take FOREVER to pay are currently driving me MAD.

Looking forward to reading about the move!

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Oh wow!! wow, wow, and wow! I know this was not an easy decision for you to make; especially since you still won't be able to stay at home for another year. Will you be able to transfer with your job or have to look for a completely new job? Maybe once you get settled and everything you'll find that you won't have to go to work after all? One can hope anyway!

I can't believe how fast all that is happening and you'll be moving next month! I'm bummed that we won't get to plan a trip to AZ and visit you and get to meet Oronzo and snuggle bug though!

Sending you lots of prayers for a smooth move!!

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

Congrats on the new job - and take it from someone who just went through a 1300 mile move to be close to a TON of family - it was worth it!!

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger abebech said...

Congratulations on the exciting new adventure, and on making a tough decision. It'll be so nice to take a turn being near your family, though those new configurations always take some hammering out. I'd be weepy too (we might move across town and I'm weepy!) You'll make it all work!

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

Congratulations! I will keep you in prayer as your family embarks on this new journey.

 
At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Overwhelmed.

Long time lurker..delurking. God's grace is surely sufficient for you during this crazy time. If you have commited this to prayer and confident about God's direction, then all will be alright.

I will keep you and your amazing family in my prayers.

You never know what kind of doors God will open up for you as a result of your faith.

Blessings,

Mary

 
At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Father~I ask that you comfort this family as You guide them into the next part of their journey. May they keep their eyes focussed on Your Plan for their lives...as they watch their territory increase. Show them these next few days that this is Your plan. Give them a confidence in their decision --even as their hearts grieve and prepare in leaving where You have placed them and prepared them for this season.

Kristi in Texas

 
At 11:22 PM, Blogger Jenn said...

After reading your post it seems like you have made the right descion. Even though there are things you'll miss, the way you wrote it made it sound like you are feeling like you've made the right descion.

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger A Special Family said...

Firstly, a big congratulations on making this decision. It really does seem like you had a tough choice, and perhaps some sacrifice now (a year or so) for better family time. If it means in a year or two you can adopt again and be home, well then it will be simply wonderful.
Having moved myself this year, to a new country, I too agonized, deliberated, prayed etc. As a single, I found it especially hard to know what to do, but I am at peace now. It was hard, scary and sad at times, but I do believe it was the best choice I could make at the time.
I will be thinking about you and praying for you lots!
Kate

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger mira said...

My husband and I have moved many times due to his job. Most of them were okay, a couple of them I felt like I was being pried away kicking and screaming. What I learned along the way is that it always works out. There are friendly and wonderful people everywhere. Our second or third move his boss' wife gave me some very good advice that I'd like to share with you, "Remember that wherever you go it is some else's home, it can be yours too if you are open to the possibilities." I belive that you will do fine. Congratulations on the job and I'll will send peaceful thoughts your way for an easy transition.

 
At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Erin said...

oh, wow! What a big step but I bet it will be good in the long run for Oronzo to be on a steady income again.

And, I moved my blog to its own site :) seekinggodknowswhat.com

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Barbie said...

Congrats! Sounds like a lot of change for your little family. I pray that God would bless you with His peace. That you would cling to Him in this time of transition. I pray you sell your home quickly and at a good price. And that your move and all the details involved in that would go smoothly.

Risk are such a big part of life, never easy, but also exciting. May you not be so overwhelmed:) with the heaviness of your move, that you don't enjoy all the blessings and excitement of it.

 
At 8:15 PM, Blogger Judith said...

May the road rise up to meet you wherever you go........, and where ever that is, God's already there looking out for you. God bless.

 

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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)


(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)


Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
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Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
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Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
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Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
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Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
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It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
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Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
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Court hearing for "John Doe"
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