You'll never believe where I am right now.  Can you guess from the image above?

Labels: business travel, vacation, working mommy

Well, I made it to Lancaster in one piece.  I'm not sure I took the most direct route to get here.  I flew into Ontario, CA and rented a car.  The nice people at the Dollar car rental counter gave me directions to Lancaster that had me taking 10 W to 57 N, then 57 N to 210 W, then 210 W to 5 N, then 5 N to 14 N on in to Lancaster.

As I was driving, I called Oronzo and chatted with him.  Of course, being a guy, he had to get on to Google and look up the course I was taking and then proceeded to tell me that if I had gone in the opposite direction on 15 I would've avoided driving through mountains and gotten here quicker.  I assured him that I didn't mind the longer drive.  For the next 2 weeks, I've got nothing but time and since the car rental and the gas is being paid for on this business trip, it was no big deal to take the longer route.  

I had my iPod with me and was enjoying being in the car alone, listening to my music (rather than Jimmy Buffet songs that Oronzo always listens to on his Margaritaville station in the car), belting out the lyrics to my favorite songs!

I must say, I'm impressed with my diggs for the next two weeks.  This Marriott in Lancaster is one of the nicer ones I've stayed in.  I have a rather spacious suite with a king sized bed in one area with a big screen TV (not your normal size) and a nice sized bathroom a stone's throw away!

Another area has a desk with free wifi internet access (my Macbook picked up their network in no time), along with a couch and a cofeee table.

Finally, there's a small "kitchen" area with a refigerator, a microwave, a counter with a sink, and a cabinet space in case I want to purchase beverages or food and store it there.

I'll tell you what, this place sure beats the rundown Motel 8 that I'm forced to stay in when I'm working at Holloman AFB in Alomogordo, NM.  Thankfully having an opportunity to see Michelle when I'm there makes up for it! :)

Labels: business travel, working mommy

I'm heading off to Edwards AFB today.  I'll be there on business for two weeks, through 25 July!  I'll have access to email and the internet while I'm in my hotel in Lancaster, CA but not during my time on base.

Labels: business travel, working mommy

Fair warning, this is going to be a long post.

Thing have been stressful these past couple of weeks in our household and it probably won’t get any better for another couple of weeks.

Last week I was away on business and during my time away Oronzo was left to take care of all three children on his own, 24/7. Let’s just say that things did not go well. Baby Bug is teething and she went from waking up only once per night for a feeding to waking up every couple of hours screaming in pain. Oronzo tried to sooth her quickly but there were a few times when her cries woke the other two children up. Oronzo got very little sleep the entire week.

Boo regressed back to feeling very anxious every time Oronzo would set her down and try to get something done. She would start sobbing and try to get him to hold her. Snuggle Bug was pretty self-sufficient but his needs still had to be met too. On top of the chaos with the children, Oronzo was desperately trying to get work done in the evenings for a project he’s trying to complete for a client. He failed miserably to meet that deadline and had to request an extension.

When I returned, Oronzo felt at the end of his rope. When I asked why he didn’t ask for help he explained that the help he needed the most was in the evenings and no one was available for that.

Unfortunately, I’m leaving on yet another week-long business trip this coming Monday. Usually my trips aren’t back to back like this but I can’t get out of going on this next trip. We thought that Oronzo’s mom would be able to come and stay with him for the week to help out with the kids but she informed us last weekend that she was no longer available, at all. We’re not even sure why but we feel like she’s left us hanging because she originally told us she would be able to help and now suddenly she can't.

Oronzo made it clear to me that he could not have a repeat of last week. He’s still behind on work and desperately needs to catch. As foster parents, we don’t have a lot of options when it comes to getting help in the caring of our foster children. To have someone watch the children for even an hour, they have to be fingerprinted and have a background check done. To watch them overnight, they have to be a fully licensed foster family. What this means is that Oronzo is going to have to put Baby Bug and Boo in respite care next week.

When he told me this, I panicked. Boo has enough separation anxiety issues as it is. Sending her to a strange home for a week surly will only make it worse. I’m sure she’s going to think we’ve left her for good! Baby Bug is a happy little baby and probably will be fine, as long as the foster family that’s caring for her gives her lots of love and attention. I confess that I pleaded with Ornozo not to do this and even went so far as to try to make him feel guilty about even thinking of it. I wasn’t very supportive of his admission that he was feeling overwhelmed with taking care of all three children by himself the entire time I was gone. My lack of support has led to strained feelings between him and I.

It took me a couple of days to accept that respite care is the only option for this next trip. I called our agency worker and filled her in on the situation. I started crying as I spoke with her. She was quick to reassure me that it was OKAY to ask for help and said that she understood that the restrictions placed on us on who can watch the foster children makes respite care unavoidable in these situations. She assured me she’d find a good family to take the girls. I requested that she try to find foster parents with no other children that would take both girls and that could give them their undivided attention.

Our agency worker appears to have come through for us. She found a couple that is just doing respite only and will have no other children in the home next week but our two girls. I called and spoke to the foster mom and we talked for about 30 minutes. I shared with her my concerns and she assured me that she’d take good care of them for us. She offered to let me come to her house ahead of time to get a tour and to get to know her and her husband a little better so I’m taking the girls tomorrow morning to meet with her. She’s okay with me giving her notes on the girls’ needs and sending a list of the items we’ll be leaving with them.

I’m still quite apprehensive about sending the girls to respite care and I think Boo will struggle with this even after she’s back home with us next Friday afternoon, but I’m trying to be respectful of Oronzo’s need for assistance. I’ve apologized to him for not being more supportive in the first place and the tensions are easing a bit. Now I just want next week to be over so I can get back to taking care of my family!

Who knew that business travel would prove to be so painful! You're prayers for our family next week would be much appreciated!

Labels: business travel, foster children, fostering, Oronzo, parenting, stay-at-home daddy, working mommy

Do you ever wonder when life is going to slow down a bit so you can catch your breath?

This month of May I've traveled three weekends out of four. I foolishly thought that once that traveling was done I'd get to relax a bit and feel less frazzled and discombobulated. Boy was I wrong!

I worked from 2:30-10:30 p.m. last night and today I'm turning around and working 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. again.

Here's what's on my plate the rest of this week:

1) Today- rush home after work, check out a daycare that we might be sending Snuggle Bug to for 4 months (if Oronzo gets an offer for a long term contract position that he interviewed for yesterday- more on that later).

2) This evening- straighten up the house, make dinner, and at 5:45 p.m. Oronzo and I will head off to our third MAPPs class while Snuggle Bug stays home with his new sitter. I did this week's homework at work just last night.

3) Tomorrow- I'll work from 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. again, go home and spend some time with Snuggle Bug and Oronzo before the three of us leave to attend a work-related function at 7 p.m.

4) Saturday- I'll get up at the crack of dawn to sort through items around our house and label them to be sold at the garage sale that I'm helping my neighbor Jack have. He's almost blind, you see, and can't do his own garage sale so I'm taking my items to his house and spending from 8 a.m.- 3 p.m. at his place helping him sell his stuff and hopefully some of mine. At 3 p.m. I leave to join some friends for a clay creative time (thank goodness for that) and then dinner at their house.

5) Sunday- We'll go to 9 a.m. mass, then out for breakfast, then home to put Snuggle Bug down for a nap, clean our house, and pack a picnic dinner. At 5 p.m. we'll head out to attend another outdoor pops concert with friends.

Whew! I'm exhausted just looking at that list. So, what's keeping you busy these days?

Labels: Oronzo, Snuggle Bug, topsy turvy world, working mommy

Be prepared for a lengthy post. I've got issues!

Oronzo and I feel as though we're teetering on the edge of a steep cliff, trying not to tumble off and smash into broken pieces on the rocks below.

There's sudden turmoil in our life, and it all stems from a job offer that has been extended to Oronzo. Let me explain.

For the past 2 years, Oronzo has been a stay-at-home daddy, taking care of Snuggle Bug and doing contract work from home. Emotionally, it's been fantastic! Although I wished I could be the one staying home with Snuggle Bug, my type of work has never allowed for that, while Oronzo's has. My comfort has been that his daddy, rather than a daycare stranger, is lovingly caring for Snuggle Bug.

So, emotionally, things have been fantastic! Financially, not so well. We've been managing to make ends meet, but sometimes just barely. My steady income certainly doesn't cover all the bills and Oronzo's contract work has been rather up and down, sometimes more down than up (through no fault of his own, Oronzo is the most motivated individual I know). And what's really frustrating is when he does a lot of work for a client, sometimes that client takes 120 days, or longer to pay their invoice and Oronzo has to hound them to try to collect. That's been rather unpleasant. So, we've been getting by, but not getting ahead. And with a second adoption on the horizon, we realize now more than ever that something’s got to give.

So, Oronzo started hunting for a FT job. He searched high and low in our city and surrounding areas but the market for his field has never been that good here. He began expanding his search to other states and decided to look at Nebraska, since most of my family lives there. Low and behold, he found a position that he was qualified for, he interviewed with the company that had the opening, and after 6 long weeks of waiting, the company extended him an offer.

The offer was decent but it wasn't as nice as we'd hoped it would be. We were hoping it'd be higher so that there'd be no question about me being able to stay home with Snuggle Bug and baby #2. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Although we'll be better off financially and we'll certainly have more stability, as well as a much better benefits package, I will still have to work FT for at least another year to play catch up and meet our long-term financial goals. Even my ideas of an in-home business will not be realized right away.

The gist of all this is that we have spent the past few days AGONIZING as to whether or not to accept this position and move to Nebraska. There have been many late night discussions, many tears shed, and even a PROS and CONS list thrown together over dinner one night, which really didn't seem to help us much with deciding.

Moving means giving up so much...it means leaving the city where Oronzo went to college, where his sisters live, where we met, dated, and became engaged, where Snuggle Bug was born and entrusted into our forever family, where he was baptized into the Catholic faith, where we have a close-knit circle of friends, where we have a beloved house (that we poured lots of love and labor into fixing up) in a fantastic neighborhood just walking distance from an excellent elementary school, where we've made friends with some very dear neighbors, where we only have to drive 2 hours to visit Oronzo's parents on their small ranch. I could go on and on but I think you get the point. The scariest part of moving means putting Snuggle Bug in daycare for at least a year. This alone is such a huge sacrifice for our family. My heart aches at the thought of it!

On the positive side, moving means more financial stability; it means that Oronzo will be in a senior level position being groomed for management. It means better chances of being able to adopt again. It means being closer to my family (Snuggle Bug will have many more aunts/uncles/cousins in NE to spoil him). It means that Oronzo will have more opportunities to pursue his passion of flying (he's a private pilot). It means a fresh new start and sometimes that can be exciting.

So, what did we decide? Well, we decided to take the plunge, accept the offer, and move to Nebraska. Oddly, even after making this decision, I still find myself weepy at times. It was SO HARD to make this decision because, other than the job/work situation, things have been really great here and we have so many good memories here in this city!

I can't help but wonder, did we make the right decision for the right reasons? Will our house sell at the price that we need it to in this buyers market? Will Snuggle Bug be okay with this transition? Will Oronzo and I? Will I be able to set proper boundaries with my large family to ensure that the needs of my small family come first? Is Oronzo sacrificing too much?

Now that the decision has been made, I'm trying to quell these doubts and commit myself to this course of action. I'm trying desperately to keep a positive attitude about it all. I've got a "moving task list" a mile long and everything on it needs to be done before we leave town on 22 March, so I don't have time to feel sad and mopey about it all. Oronzo's first day at work is 26 March. It's all happening so fast!

So, dear blogger friends, if you've made it through my long, long post, I implore you to offer up prayers and words of support and encouragement for our family. We certainly would appreciate them! In fact, if you wouldn't mind expressing your prayer in my comments section, I think I would draw much comfort from being able to read them. I firmly believe in the miraculous power of prayer!

Thank you so much for allowing me to sort through these conflicting emotions by blogging. It helps so very much!

Labels: family, leap of faith, moving, Oronzo, Snuggle Bug, stay-at-home daddy, working mommy

Thanks to all of you who have offered encouragement and comments to my I need your help! post. I do appreciate it.

Labels: family, home-based business, leap of faith, working mommy

Good Monday morning to you all! How was your weekend?

Labels: family, home-based business, leap of faith, Oronzo, working mommy

I've never particularly enjoyed traveling for business. Being away from Oronzo and Snuggle Bug, for any amount of time, just isn't all that fun. Thankfully, my job only takes me away 2 or 3 times a year.

When I told Oronzo that I'd be traveling to NM again this month he said, "Hey, don't you have a blogger friend there?" I guess he pays attention more than I give him credit for! :)

Having the opportunity to meet up again with Michelle made the thought of this trip a little more positive, and meet we did, for dinner last night. Not only did I get to see Michelle, but also her husband, Joe, and beautiful daughter, Kayla! We met at the Community Center (on base).

Now, you may remember that I've met Michelle once before, last July, when I was in NM on business. Meeting again this time was so relaxed and comfortable, just like connecting in-person with longtime friends! Thanks for taking the time to meet up with me, Michelle! It was great to see you again and catch up!

Besides the visit with Michelle, I also want to mention tomorrow's Super Bowl Sunday themed Favorite Ingredients Friday recipe exchange (thanks for the idea, Jen).

The recipes can be appetizers, soups, salads, or whatever you might consider serving at a Super Bowl party!




So, if you're interested in participating in this themed recipe exchange, feel free to grab the image that Susie with Bluebird Blogs so kindly designed for me (thanks, Susie!) and use it in your post tomorrow. See you then!

Labels: blogger friends, business travel, Favorite Ingredients Friday, recipe exchange, working mommy