Monday, October 30, 2006
Adoption #2- ongoing research
Oronzo and I have decided that we need to look at more than just Catholic Social Services as an option for our next adoption. Neither of us are overly impressed with their professionalism. We're not getting the warm fuzzies and for something as important as this, I think we need to have a good feeling about the agency we're working with. We haven't totally disregarded CSS, we're just continuing our research.
So, today I ripped out a page from the Yellow Pages phone book. There's only 1 page in our city for adoption services. There's a bigger city about 2 hours from here that probably has many more agencies, but we want to start locally and see what we find.
One listing in the yellow pages really disturbs me. Here are the details:
Silver Spoon Adoptions
Providing Families of Distinction & Privilege, Doesn't Your Child Deserve the Very Best?
Yikes! Does this mean they only work with very wealthy prospective adoptive families? To me, this ad smacks of condescension and coercion!
Of course, I will be calling them to see what they have to say. We're far from a family of distinction and privilege so they'll probably not give me the time of day, but I simply have to hear their sales pitch. I plan on asking them a lot of questions regarding how they treat the expectant mother, see if I can't make them squirm a bit.
The other ads seem fairly benign, although many of them stress the paid living and medical expenses for the potential birthmothers (I have mixed feelings about this) and none of them say "potential" birthmother or expectant mother in their ads. No, they consider them birthmothers even before the baby has been born. Rather annoying.
Well, I have some phone calls to make to these agencies so I'll keep this post short. I plan to create a spreadsheet to track and compare what we learn about each agency.
Wish me luck!
So, today I ripped out a page from the Yellow Pages phone book. There's only 1 page in our city for adoption services. There's a bigger city about 2 hours from here that probably has many more agencies, but we want to start locally and see what we find.One listing in the yellow pages really disturbs me. Here are the details:
Silver Spoon Adoptions
Providing Families of Distinction & Privilege, Doesn't Your Child Deserve the Very Best?
Yikes! Does this mean they only work with very wealthy prospective adoptive families? To me, this ad smacks of condescension and coercion!
Of course, I will be calling them to see what they have to say. We're far from a family of distinction and privilege so they'll probably not give me the time of day, but I simply have to hear their sales pitch. I plan on asking them a lot of questions regarding how they treat the expectant mother, see if I can't make them squirm a bit.
The other ads seem fairly benign, although many of them stress the paid living and medical expenses for the potential birthmothers (I have mixed feelings about this) and none of them say "potential" birthmother or expectant mother in their ads. No, they consider them birthmothers even before the baby has been born. Rather annoying.
Well, I have some phone calls to make to these agencies so I'll keep this post short. I plan to create a spreadsheet to track and compare what we learn about each agency.
Wish me luck!
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, expanding our family, family
10 Comments:
Hi Overwhemed with joy,
Have you considered China. We did a ton of research on it and are currently adopting from there. Everyone we know that has adopted from China has had the most amazing experience. There are TONS of blogs to check out people's journey to their chldren in China. It is a very clearcut, precise country to adopt from.
Amy
I am sure you will find an agency that fits your family. When we started our journey we met with several agencies in our area and somehow the one we chose felt right. When I refer people to them I always say what sold me was I liked that our social worker Ann, talked to me and explained things like we were 3 years old! That is exactly what we needed a lot of hand holding and not someone muddling through like it was info we should know, especially with it being our first time.
Good luck!
Glad you all enjoyed your family time together at the beach! whoo hoo!
You never know what you might stumble on in your attempts at finding an agency. My daughter almost excepted a job at an agency in Oklahoma, but opted to go a different route.
Our thoughts and prayer are with you always, and best of luck. :)
well how frustrating with both of those ads! Hopefully the agencies are much better than the ad seems to represent! I think you're doing the right thing by searching out other options - espcially since you don't get the "warm fuzzies" from the CSS!
I totally thin you should have the warm and fuzzies from the agency that may help you find your family!
I adore how much you respect the birth mother and family. The amazing way in which you approach the entire thing leaves me awe.
Totally sending positive vibes your way!
I think it's good to keep your option open. Things will turn out how they are supposed to.
I'm also glad that you had a good trip. Welcome back.
I DO wish you luck. I don't like the sound of either of these.
I can't imagine your frustration, OW. I think it's time for me to add you to my prayer list. And that, my friend, I can do. Immediately.
It's unbelievable to me that people like you and Orenzo have to go through this to simply adopt a baby and give him a wonderful life full of love.
Admittedly, I'm very naive about the whole process. Still, I hate that it's so difficult for people like you.
My long comment got deleted (argh) but the short version is that we discovered too late that while we were happy with our agency's first priority being first families, we needed just a little bit of handholding, so do take care in choosing (we found the right combination in our intl agency).
As for Silver Spoons, the name says it all. How awful and incorrect to assume that that's what mothers want for their children! Argh.
Silver Spoons? Yikes. What a name.
God has a baby waiting for you-I pray that He lead you to the right agency and gives you a peace that passes all understanding. Keep me posted!
Susan
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