Monday, October 16, 2006
Adoption #2- Trying to get a response.
So, on 9 October I called Catholic Social Services and left a voice mail message with the appropriate person that I was transferred to. I left my phone number and asked for a call back.
For several days we got no response so Oronzo decided to drop in without an appointment to see if he could catch the woman we needed to talk to (to be referred to as Ms. Dowly). She wasn't there, but a co-worker of hers was kind enough to spend some time with him and answer some of his questions.
Here's what he learned:
1) If we sign on with Catholic Social Services we will have to go through an orientation, 5 classes, an application process, and a Home Study process before we're eligible to be matched.
2) The next orientation may not be until January. Apparently there was one scheduled not long ago but there weren't enough prospective adoptive parents signed up for it, so they canceled it.
3) We're not able to specify a gender preference. In fact, they go so far as to counsel the expectant mothers NOT to disclose the sex of their baby to prospective adoptive parents. That's fine with us. We really don't care whether our next match is a girl or a boy. Eventually we'd like a girl, but if this next adoption is of a boy, that's perfectly fine. In fact, I think Snuggle Bug would probably have more fun with a little brother than a little sister. :)
4) This infant adoption program only places newborns. When Oronzo mentioned that we'd be comfortable adopting a child up to a year old, he was told that all their placements are of newborns only.
5) Couples are only able to adopt up to 2 children through this program. Since we already have one child, we'll only be able to go through their program once. That's fine. We may want to adopt a 3rd child but if that's the case we will probably go through the State the third time around.
6) The expectant parents look through profiles and choose who they want to meet with.
7) The agency requires at least a semi-open adoption, where there is a meeting before the birth and at least pictures shared afterwards. This is fine by us.
So far, that's all we know. After a week of us waiting, Ms. Dowly still hasn't returned our phone call. So, I sent her an email asking her to contact us. We'll see what happens. I must admit, I'm a bit frustrated by the fact that Ms. Dowly hasn't given us the time of day so far. Is this typical when working with an agency?
For several days we got no response so Oronzo decided to drop in without an appointment to see if he could catch the woman we needed to talk to (to be referred to as Ms. Dowly). She wasn't there, but a co-worker of hers was kind enough to spend some time with him and answer some of his questions.
Here's what he learned:
1) If we sign on with Catholic Social Services we will have to go through an orientation, 5 classes, an application process, and a Home Study process before we're eligible to be matched.
2) The next orientation may not be until January. Apparently there was one scheduled not long ago but there weren't enough prospective adoptive parents signed up for it, so they canceled it.
3) We're not able to specify a gender preference. In fact, they go so far as to counsel the expectant mothers NOT to disclose the sex of their baby to prospective adoptive parents. That's fine with us. We really don't care whether our next match is a girl or a boy. Eventually we'd like a girl, but if this next adoption is of a boy, that's perfectly fine. In fact, I think Snuggle Bug would probably have more fun with a little brother than a little sister. :)
4) This infant adoption program only places newborns. When Oronzo mentioned that we'd be comfortable adopting a child up to a year old, he was told that all their placements are of newborns only.
5) Couples are only able to adopt up to 2 children through this program. Since we already have one child, we'll only be able to go through their program once. That's fine. We may want to adopt a 3rd child but if that's the case we will probably go through the State the third time around.
6) The expectant parents look through profiles and choose who they want to meet with.
7) The agency requires at least a semi-open adoption, where there is a meeting before the birth and at least pictures shared afterwards. This is fine by us.
So far, that's all we know. After a week of us waiting, Ms. Dowly still hasn't returned our phone call. So, I sent her an email asking her to contact us. We'll see what happens. I must admit, I'm a bit frustrated by the fact that Ms. Dowly hasn't given us the time of day so far. Is this typical when working with an agency?
Labels: adoption, adoption #2, expanding our family, family
17 Comments:
Gosh, that must be really frustrating. At least you got answers to some of your questions, but I know that waiting and not knowing is the hardest part. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending good luck your way.
Blech! There is nothing that grates on my nerves more than an unreturned phone call, especially when it comes to something as important as adoption!! Please keep us posted...
That's how it was for us (and I wasn't happy about it) -- our sw didn't return calls/move forward until she could see a need for such a prospective parent on the horizon. So while I would have prefered to have our homestudy done and then just wait, that was not how the agency worked.
No it is not typical. In fact, it is rather weird. I will be praying for you!
I really hope you get in touch with someone that must be so very frustrating to have to wait on someone else to get things started!!! my thoughts and prayers are with you!!
I am very shocked! I recently adopted 2 girls in the past year and I think I would have gone crazy if that was how we were treated. My opinion if I may: I believe God has children out there for you and if this is a way to lead you to them by moving to a different company so be it. Be open, thats what my husband and I had to learn. Once we decided to be open, a week later we were proud parents to a new baby girl and 4 months later to a 14 month old girl. I live in Arizona but if you are open I know they are curretly looking for families (good families) for infants. I have already asked if they would take couples out of state and they said of course as long as they are homestudy ready. They can help you find an agency in your area to help you with that. This company we went through "Building AZ Families" was the best thing that ever happen to us. Not only do they return calls promtly but they sent cards, books, talked or just listen if we needed it. They have become family to us. The owner was adopted herself and the VP just adopted 3 from Russia. They know first hand the stress in adoption. With our adoption we asked that it would be closed and that is what we got. We also requested a girl and that is what we got. Of course that is what God choose for us as well. Please write me, lets talk if you would like! My e mail is njsbach@cox.net I pray God leads you to your children very soon. Mother to Grace and Olivia
Not having your phone call returned after a week sure doesn't sound typical to me. It sounds thoughtless and even a touch scary to me. I'm not sure I'd be able to put much faith in someone who can't manage her time any better than this. You sound a lot calmer about it than I'd be at this point. I hope your hear from her soon. And I hope she has a reasonable explanation for it taking her so long to even acknowledge you call and the message you left.
How frustrating that your phone calls have gone unanswered and Oronzo had to show up their in person just to get some questions answered! I pray it all works out for you the way it's meant to!
I would have to say this was not my experience when working with an agency. The social workers were always very eager to answer questions and everything. Maybe this person has a very large work load.
I am not saying you should cancel this agency out, but have you considered meeting with any other agencies? I know a lot of agencies in my area hold information nights where a group of prospective adoptive parents come into to hear an overview of the programs and Q&A with social workers. We found this process very helpful when we started our process. We went to a few information nights, before choosing an agency.
My agency is wonderful about returning phone calls or emails immediately. My social worker on the other hand....nightmare. My agency isn't in my town, so I had to have a local sw. She turned out to be a total flake who didn't do anything on a timely basis. Her delays alone cost us months in the process. I'd get local references and check very thoroughly. I can't imagine that communication would get better after you've signed up with them. It seems like now they'd want to be on "good behavior."
I would say the lack of communication is not a good sign. If they aren't even getting back to you NOW, how will it be when you are waiting to be matched, or waiting to hear about a specific case, etc. One thing I learned and was SO thankful for-- straightforward, honest, speedy communication is of utmost importance. Without it you will just go mad.
I'd look into other agencies. No need to cross this one off your list but there might be another one out there better suited to your wants/desires/needs.
OW, when your hubby stopped in and expressed concern that you two had made and call that was not yet returned, didn't she offer an explantion.
If not, I never put all my eggs in one basket. I would check other agencies. :) I will pray God guides you in your journey. :)
I don't have any thoughts about adopting through an agency. But I just stopped by to wish you all the best.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
My mom adopted two girls. One from China and one from Cambodia. She went through a pretty rough time. Their age was big factor. It took them what seemed like a long time. It was alot of red tape to go through.
My prayer are with you.
This must be so frustrating to deal with! I can't even begin to imagine. Best of luck to you and your husband with the entire process. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to in the end, so keep your chin up! =)
I think your idea for Favorite Ingredients sounds fabulous. Maybe you should have participants either number their ingredients or include it in their recipe title though, for those whom are looking for recipes without many ingredients.
How very odd that she won't return your calls. Too many case loads?
It sounds like you got some very positive answers. Now it is back to the waiting. That must be tough.
I will keep you in my prayers.
I have no clue about how this works but I would keep my options open...Id look other places too....this lady who hasnt even returned your phone call is very insensitive. Im sure she realizes how anxious you are and that you have questions. The least she could do is return your phone call....isnt that part of her job? I wish you luck OW, I know this must be very frustrating...
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