Monday, April 09, 2007
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Oronzo and I have made the decision to try to adopt through the State. We've picked an agency that we feel comfortable with and we're going to sign up for their foster-to-adopt program. We're still going to keep the word out with family and friends for a private adoption situation, just to keep our options open. But, since nothing's happening on that front, we're proceeding in this other direction.

I'd like to share our experiences along the way with adopting through the state. Of course, I won't be able to get into specifics about the child we might be placed with or the family of that child, they deserve their privacy after all, but I will get into specifics about the process itself and our interpretation of it. I hope that others will learn from our experiences, as I have learned from others.

Adopting through the state seems pretty scary to me right now, but a part of me has decided to let go of that fear. I'm tired of it holding me back. I'm ready to make a leap of faith.

So, in the interest of sharing our experiences, I thought I'd start by sharing some of the paperwork that we're having to fill out in preparation for our training class. I'm short on time so I may have to come back and add more details this afternoon, so please stop back.

Please keep in mind that each state will have different paperwork and, even within the same city, each agency will have different paperwork, but the resulting information that the state gets from prospective foster/adoptive parents ends up the same. I hope to take the mystery out of this process for others by sharing what we're going through.

Personal Profile (My Family History)

1. Who were all the people who lived with you (birth date and relationship) when you were between the ages of: birth through five years old, six through eleven, twelve through fifteen, sixteen until you left home.

2. Was there anyone not in your home or immediate family with whom you were especially close, and why?

3. Of all the people you listed in Question 1 & 2, where are these people now and how often are you in contact with them.

4. Of all the people listed, to whom were you closest and why?

5. What ages of your childhood did you like most, and why?

6. What ages of your childhood did you not like, and why?

7. With whom did you have the most difficulty getting along, and why?

8. When you were growing up, what were ways for members of your family to show the following feelings: happiness, love/affection, anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness/depression, stress.

9. Compared to other families you've known, both as a child and as an adult, would you say your family was happier or less happy than most families?

10. What family traditions with which you grew up do you still keep today, and why? Are there new traditions, and why?

11. Are there family traditions with which you grew up that you do not keep, and why?

12. Think back to the time when you left home to be on your own. How old were you? Why did you leave? How did you and your family feel about your leaving?

13. If you have been previously married or lived together in an intimate relationship, please complete questions 13-16. If not, go to question 17. Name of spouse or significant other? Date of marriage or beginning of relationship? Place of marriage? Reason marriage or relationship ended? Date marriage or relationship ended?

14. List any children you have, from previous marriages or relationships, who do not currently live with you.

15. What contact do you have with the person listed in questions 13 & 14. How do they feel about your desire to become a foster/adoptive parent?

16. Identify your emotions about the ending of your marriage. Describe how you handled those emotions.

17. If you have remarried, or entered into a new relationship with someone other than your children's father, how did your children adjust to the new person?

18. How did you meet your spouse or the person with whom you are living?

19. How long have you: know each other, been married, been living together?

20. What do you think was the main reason you married or entered into a relationship with this person and the main reason you have stayed together?

21. What do you like most about your spouse or partner? What do you think your spouse or partner likes most about you?

22. What would you like to change about your spouse or partner? What do you think your spouse or partner would like to have you change?

23. What do you most like about being married and/or living with someone?

24. What do you least like about being married and/or living with someone?

25. What would make you want to consider a divorce or ending of the relationship?

26. How much time during the week do you and your spouse or partner have along together, and do you think this is enough time?

27. What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have had in your life and how did you cope with it?

28. How and by whom were you disciplined as a child under the age of six?

29. How and by whom were you disciplined as a child between six and twelve?

30. How and by whom were you disciplined as an adolescent?

Okay, so this just scratches the surface of the stack of paperwork I have in front of me. As I was typing the questions here, I had an internal commentary going on in my brain, but I don't have time to explore that now. I'll try to come back this afternoon and add that after I get off work.

So, what do you think? Are any of you interested in me continuing with the sharing of this type of information? How would you feel about having to answer these questions?

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5:44 AM

At 7:55 AM, Blogger Joyful Days said...

Oh my goodness, and that is just the beginning? I do understand the why's but that would be a hard list of questions even with a perfect life experience to draw from.

Your adoption story of Snuggle Bug moved me so deeply, I will be following as your family's journey continues with dear child #2 coming into your lives.

Many prayers for your journey.

At 8:37 AM, Blogger GLouise said...

Yes, please do share! I have learned so much from your first adoption journey.

Thank you for your encouraging comments on my blog. I really appreciate your perspective and prayers.

At 9:17 AM, Blogger ChupieandJ'smama (Janeen) said...

I would definitely be interested in following your journey through this process. My prayers are with you and your family. Wishing you all the best!

At 1:50 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

congrats on making this decision! I hope it is one that will pan out for you guys and lead you to your second child!

Wow those questions are something else; I would have been overwhelmed with trying to answer them all! I do like to read about the whole adoption process, so if you want to share the paperwork nonesense please go ahead! and I only mean "nonesense" in the way that geesh I can't believe some of the questions they ask and how daunting it seems to be just to adopt! Best of luck!

At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you have chosen to share your experience with everyone. Sending many positive vibes your way :)

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Tricia said...

I find it all very interesting - I was trying to think of how I would answer all of these questions. Wow - it is amazing how thorough they are.

At 7:27 PM, Blogger on the Rock said...

This will definitely be of highest interest to me, since this could also be an option my husband and I will be considering. And you're right, there's so much to be weary of in fos-adopt, but atleast being given a reason to be on your guard is way better than being lulled into trusting blindly.

Ugh! The application part can be soooo tedious.

At 7:59 PM, Blogger Awesome Mom said...

I am friends with a mom that has adopted three kids from the state they had very good experiences all three times. You know, I actually like answering questions like that. They make me think.

At 8:00 PM, Blogger abebech said...

Congratulations on starting the process! So hard to let go of that fear, but I admire your decision.
We had to answer very similar (maybe the same) questions for our homestudy (non-state) and it was so timeconsuming and thought-provoking.
Looking forward to following your process!

At 5:22 AM, Blogger Carey said... tired after reading those questions, I cant imagine answering more. i pray that all goes the way you want it too.

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Butterfly Mama said...

WOW that is difficult! I'm looking forward to following your experience!

At 6:48 PM, Blogger PastormacsAnn said...

I would appreciate it if you continue to share the information sharing.

I was amazed at all the personal questions I had to answer as part of the "self-assessment" requirement of our homestudy. Sometimes the same question from three different angles. Personal, intimate, thorough. It was 15 pages long when I was finished.


The adoption paperchase is mind boggling.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

Been there, done that. Those are the exact same questions I had to answer.

Wait til you get to the infertility questionairre. It's so much fun. Nothing like being blessed with extra homework because we had fertility issues.

I just thought of it like this, the quicker it's done, the closer I am to bringing home my baby.

If you fill it out thouroughly enough, your home development worker won't have to take as much time asking questions during the home visit.

Good luck.


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

Imagine my surprise!
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Easter Edition)
WFMW (car edition)
Join me this Friday for FIF Easter edition!
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Grains of Gratitude
Favorite Ingredients Friday (BBQ Boneless Pork Ribs)
Writing an obituary
WFMW (stop urban legend emails)
Have you heard the news?

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