Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
It's been a while since I've offered up an update on how we're progressing towards persuing a second adoption through the state.

Let's see, this Thursday will be week 7 of our PS MAPP class. That means after this Thursday we only have 3 more classes left! Hooray!

The classes have been interesting. We've learned a lot about the "system", some good and some bad. Let me share a few details.

We've heard a lot of PC talk that frustrates us, like..."Yes, the parents may have burned their children with a cigarette but they're not bad people, they just need our help. They really love their children."

I know that it's not fair to say that all parents with children removed and placed into the system are bad people. I do believe that there are many that just need services provided to help them learn better parenting/life skills. Oronzo and I both struggle though when we're told that we're not only there to provide a safe and loving environment for the children, while it's determined whether or not the parents can get back on track, but we're also expected to try to mentor the parents. We're very protective of our privacy and the safety Snuggle Bug so we've made it clear to the trainers that, although we're willing to meet and interact with the parents for the sake of the child and the state's goal of reunification, we're not willing to do it in our home. And we don't want any of our contact information shared until we feel comfortable enough to decide how much to share.

Some of the exercises in this class have been very effective in putting us in the shoes of the children and how much loss they feel at being removed from their homes. Even when things are bad, the children love their parents and most often don't want to leave. It'll be our job to help make that transition, whether temporary or permanent, as smooth as possible. The classes have given us insight and techniques on how we can accomplish this daunting task.

Overall, I think the classes have been a lot more beneficial than I expected them to. I'm learning new things, I'm forming relationships with some of my classmates in the hopes that we can support each other along the way (we've exchanged email addresses so far), and I'm getting one step closer to becoming licensed. Oronzo thinks the classes are a waste of time and views them simply as a means to an end. He's going and he's doing the required homework, so I'm not complaining.

This Friday we have a licensing agent, from the agency we're working with, coming out to do an initial walk-through of our home. This is to share tips on how we can make our home more safe before the actual home inspection required as part of our homestudy. I'm actually happy to be having a "trial run" of the walk-through! Of course, I've been cleaning like a mad woman every night, driving Oronzo crazy, but that can't be helped.

We've filled out a lot of paperwork, I've gotten my fingerprinting card in the mail (hooray, I passed), we've turned in our emergency evacuation plan, and we're about to turn in copies of paycheck stubs, home/car insurance policies, copies of our drivers licences, and much more! It's an extensive list of things we have to provide!

So, I thought I'd mention that if you have specific questions about this process and our experiences with it thus far, leave me a comment and I'll do my best to answer them.

Stay tuned, later this week I'll post the generic letter we've been asked to write to the parents of the future child we might have placed with us.

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5:47 AM

At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's good to explain the process i'm sure it will help others.

God bless

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Jenn @ Knee-Deep in Munchkin Land said...

Oh man, whew! I'm impressed with what you and Oronzo are going through to get licensed. I will praying that God will place the perfect child, with the "perfect" (if they were perfect in the first place, I guess they wouldn't be with you, huh?) circumstances will be placed into your home and lives.

Please keep us posted!!

At 12:36 PM, Blogger Susanne said...

I'm still praying for you guys! I know it will work out. Bless you guys for doing this!

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Darla said...

I will keep you in my prayers. I've too adopted thru the state & it was so disturbing to know that the parents have more rights than the children..My youngest actually had to be in a body cast at the age of 4 months, had to be sent to a hospital by airlift 200 miles away and the mom didn't even go with him... but yet she still had the right to be his mom.... Aghhh...
Sorry.. shouldn't get me started.. Hang in there - If you need to vent or just need moral support you can feel free to email me at dmast@wecon.com...
Good Luck....
Darla Mast - Washington

At 5:24 PM, Blogger Tamara said...

It will be 2 years since we were licensed, and we still call and visit folks we attended class with - several of whom are also now in the adoption cycle. The MAPP classes did seem very PC. I've found that our privacy has been respected - when we went to the family team meeting last week the SW met us in the parking lot and escorted us back, and we did not have to sign our names. It was nice to feel at least some degree of protection for us.

At 8:31 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

thanks for sharing your experiences with the classes you've been taking! I'm glad to hear they've been more beneficial than you thought they would be. I didn't realize they would be expecting you to "mentor" the parents either...seems like they would be getting them the help they needed with other agencies...you're already taking on enough when you're trying to make the transition to your own home smooth enough for the child. Interesting. I've still got you guys in my prayers that this all works out soon for you to have another addition to your family - one way or the other!

At 4:26 AM, Blogger Shalee said...

Not only are you going to bless the lives of that sweet child, you're blessing the lives of the readers who want to follow this same quest by opening yourself up to their questions. You so rock.

Blessings on you and your proceedings...

At 8:46 AM, Blogger TeamWinks said...

It feels like yesterday we were doing the same thing! It certainly was a great deal of effort on our part, but I think we got the better end of the deal!

At 1:43 AM, Anonymous cheap necklaces said...

thanks for sharing your experiences with the classes you've been taking! I'm glad to hear they've been more beneficial than you thought they would be.


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Name: Overwhelmed

My complete profile

It wasn't supposed to work this way...Parts 1 through 10

(the story of the private, domestic adoption of our son)

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)
(Part 9)
(Part 10- Adoption Finalization)

Fostering isn't for the faint of heart!

(our journey to adopt again through foster-to-adopt, the good, the bad, & everything in between)

Adoption #2- considering the State
More Adoption #2 thoughts
Adoption #2- Back to considering the State
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 1)
Adoption #2- The Paperwork (Round 2)
Family Foster Home Licensing Prep Checklist
Adoption #2- Long overdue update
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Our preliminary home inspection went well!
Adoption #2: Licensing update
Adoption #2- Foster Facts
Adoption #2: I love it when things go my way!
Adoption #2- The home inspection
Adoption #2- We failed our home inspection!
Adoption #2- We passed the follow-up home inspection!
Adoption #2- Still waiting
Adoption #2- We're getting closer
Adoption #2- An update & a lead
Adoption #2- The lead that didn't pan out.
Adoption #2- We're licensed!
Adoption #2- We have a tiny baby here!
Adoption #2- Update on this precious little girl.
Adoption #2- Quick update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is staying longer!
Adoption #2- Baby Bug is growing!
Adoption #2- Overdue update on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- The latest on Baby Bug
Adoption #2- Shopping spree for Baby Bug
Being a Foster Parent Does Not Make Me A Saint
Adoption #2- Another Placement Call!
Adoption #2- Placement Meeting- UPDATED!
Adoption #2- We have Boo at our home!
Adoption #2- Meeting Boo
Adoption #2- I'm angry on Boo's behalf!
Adoption #2- A Birthday Party for Boo
Adjusting to three 3 and under!
Stressful moments in fostering.
Adoption #2- Update on our foster daughters
CPS Workers Jerking Our Chain!
It's getting much worse!
Fostering: Update on Baby Bug
Fostering: Update on Boo
The effects of fostering on Snuggle Bug
The time is drawing near to let go of Baby Bug.
Good conversation with Baby Bug's dad.
Boo has a Permanency hearing coming soon!
My heart is breaking!
Bittersweet news about Baby Bug.
Next Friday is going to be tough.
Packing up Baby Bug's belongings
It's done- Baby Bug is gone.
Working on finding peace, one day at a time.
Referral to the Early Intervention Program
Baby Bug update
Home Inspection for re-licensing
Parole granted for Boo's bio mom
Baby Bug is turning 1 year old soon.
Day 2 of Boo's permanency hearing
A prayer answered today!
Attending Baby Bug's 1st birthday party
Foster news
Good news for Boo's case
Boo's bio family visits
Termination Trial date set!
A new caseworker for Boo
I've been asked to testify in court.
Court hearing for "John Doe"
Contested termination trial begins tomorrow afternoon
Boo's adoption has been finalized!

We survived the first week of daycare...barely.
Happy Father's Day!
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Refreshing Drinks Edi...
WFMW (How to get your spouse to do dishes)
We survived the first day.
This week is going to suck!
Favorite Ingredients Friday (Sauteed Onion & Tomat...
I'm trying to avoid a panic attack!
WFMW (The Plate Method)
Pictures from our Mexico trips

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