Thursday, June 21, 2007
PS-MAPP class homework assignment
Last week we were given the assignmen to write a letter to the parents of a child who may be placed in our home. We were instructed to tell the birth parents some things about us and our family that would assure them of our ability to foster or adopt their child.
As we wrote our letter, we were asked to think of the following questions:
1) How would I feel if my child were living with people I do not know?
2) What would I want to know about a family caring for my child?
3) What could another parent tell me that would make me feel secure that I am still my child's parent?
This letter will become a part of our Family Profile and may be show to birth parents.
I have been dreading this assignment! I've always had a strong dislike for "Dear Birth Parent" letters for several reasons. I don't feel it's right to call them birth parents before it's even been determined whether their parental rights will be severed. I'm not comfortable with the idea of "selling" myself to get a child, although I realize that the sad reality is that this is what often happens. I feel that all these letters end up sounding alike anyway.
Regardless of my distaste for this type of letter, we had little choice but to do as instructed. I rebelled a bit by refusing to use the title "birth parent".
I'll let you read what I wrote and turned in. Go easy on me, if you choose to comment. This wasn't easy to write.
Dear Parents,
We’d like to take this opportunity to share some information about our family, in the hopes that getting to know us a bit will ease your mind about who is caring for your child. We recognize that having your child placed in another family will be difficult for you and your child.
Oronzo and I met back in 1997 and our first date was on Valentine’s Day that year. We dated for five years before getting engaged. We spent a year planning our destination wedding/honeymoon in Ireland. We’ve been happily married for four years now.
Our family is being built through adoption. We adopted our son, Snuggle Bug, as a newborn through a private, domestic adoption. He is now 2 ½ years old and we love him dearly! He brings such joy to our lives. Snuggle Bug is a good-natured, gentle little boy who loves other kids.
Our hearts are now calling us to provide a loving home to another foster or adoptive child. We both come from large families and we want Snuggle Bug to have at least one other sibling, if not two.
If your child is placed with us, we will offer your child a safe home in a quiet and friendly neighborhood (walking distance from an excellent elementary school) with lots of loving attention. Although I work outside of the home, my schedule is fairly flexible and I don’t have to work overtime. Oronzo does consulting engineering work from home, so your child will not be in daycare. Note: By the time we are placed with a child, Oronzo's current contract job will be done and Snuggle Bug will be pulled out of daycare and become a stay-at-home kid again.
During the weekdays, your child will be with Oronzo and Snuggle Bug, going to library story times, taking walks, and having play dates with other young children. Our evenings are filled with indoor and outdoor play, family meals, bedtime stories, and lots of one-on-one attention. Our weekends are filled with family activities like trips to the zoo, the park to feed ducks, and other kid-friendly outings. We attend mass each Sunday and then go out to brunch afterwards. We also like to attend occasional baseball games (Snuggle Bug is a huge baseball fan already), bookstore story times, and outdoor pops concerts in the park. We often like to just relax at home and hang out in our pool when it’s hot outside!
We understand that the goal of the state for children that are placed into foster care is to reunify them with their parents. We will do what we can to assist in achieving that goal. We will treat you with kindness and respect. We will encourage your child to maintain a safe and healthy relationship with you. We will take pictures to share with you for the times that you are not together (Oronzo is a professional photographer). And if your child should become available for adoption by our family, we would be happy to send you pictures and updates on a set schedule so that you still know how they’re doing. We will never deny your child the right to their family history.
I hope this letter has reassured you that your child will be well taken care of and that you will be a part of their life, even when you’re not present. We would be happy to answer any specific questions that you might have.
Sincerely,
OW, Oronzo, and little Snuggle Bug
As we wrote our letter, we were asked to think of the following questions:
1) How would I feel if my child were living with people I do not know?
2) What would I want to know about a family caring for my child?
3) What could another parent tell me that would make me feel secure that I am still my child's parent?
This letter will become a part of our Family Profile and may be show to birth parents.
I have been dreading this assignment! I've always had a strong dislike for "Dear Birth Parent" letters for several reasons. I don't feel it's right to call them birth parents before it's even been determined whether their parental rights will be severed. I'm not comfortable with the idea of "selling" myself to get a child, although I realize that the sad reality is that this is what often happens. I feel that all these letters end up sounding alike anyway.
Regardless of my distaste for this type of letter, we had little choice but to do as instructed. I rebelled a bit by refusing to use the title "birth parent".
I'll let you read what I wrote and turned in. Go easy on me, if you choose to comment. This wasn't easy to write.
Dear Parents,
We’d like to take this opportunity to share some information about our family, in the hopes that getting to know us a bit will ease your mind about who is caring for your child. We recognize that having your child placed in another family will be difficult for you and your child.
Oronzo and I met back in 1997 and our first date was on Valentine’s Day that year. We dated for five years before getting engaged. We spent a year planning our destination wedding/honeymoon in Ireland. We’ve been happily married for four years now.
Our family is being built through adoption. We adopted our son, Snuggle Bug, as a newborn through a private, domestic adoption. He is now 2 ½ years old and we love him dearly! He brings such joy to our lives. Snuggle Bug is a good-natured, gentle little boy who loves other kids.
Our hearts are now calling us to provide a loving home to another foster or adoptive child. We both come from large families and we want Snuggle Bug to have at least one other sibling, if not two.
If your child is placed with us, we will offer your child a safe home in a quiet and friendly neighborhood (walking distance from an excellent elementary school) with lots of loving attention. Although I work outside of the home, my schedule is fairly flexible and I don’t have to work overtime. Oronzo does consulting engineering work from home, so your child will not be in daycare. Note: By the time we are placed with a child, Oronzo's current contract job will be done and Snuggle Bug will be pulled out of daycare and become a stay-at-home kid again.
During the weekdays, your child will be with Oronzo and Snuggle Bug, going to library story times, taking walks, and having play dates with other young children. Our evenings are filled with indoor and outdoor play, family meals, bedtime stories, and lots of one-on-one attention. Our weekends are filled with family activities like trips to the zoo, the park to feed ducks, and other kid-friendly outings. We attend mass each Sunday and then go out to brunch afterwards. We also like to attend occasional baseball games (Snuggle Bug is a huge baseball fan already), bookstore story times, and outdoor pops concerts in the park. We often like to just relax at home and hang out in our pool when it’s hot outside!
We understand that the goal of the state for children that are placed into foster care is to reunify them with their parents. We will do what we can to assist in achieving that goal. We will treat you with kindness and respect. We will encourage your child to maintain a safe and healthy relationship with you. We will take pictures to share with you for the times that you are not together (Oronzo is a professional photographer). And if your child should become available for adoption by our family, we would be happy to send you pictures and updates on a set schedule so that you still know how they’re doing. We will never deny your child the right to their family history.
I hope this letter has reassured you that your child will be well taken care of and that you will be a part of their life, even when you’re not present. We would be happy to answer any specific questions that you might have.
Sincerely,
OW, Oronzo, and little Snuggle Bug
Labels: adoption #2, adoption paperwork, family, foster-to-adopt, fostering
6 Comments:
I think that is a great letter!!! You really put a lot of thought into it and it shows.
I think it is a lovely letter.
With prayer,
That is an awesome letter! And I know the assignment was tough, but I think it's great that you got to sit down and write out all the wonderful things you do with your family...and it provides GREAT ideas for other families. Any child would be blessed to be part of your family!
That was beautifully written... I think you did a wonderful job!!
I always thought writing one of those letters (and as you said, 'selling yourself') would be so difficult - I just wouldn't know what to say that wouldn't sound like every other letter! I think you did such a great job with this letter! If I was in a situation where I needed to place my child w/another family, I would be very comforted to read about your family letter!
Hello,
My name is Carrie and my husband Cory and I are in the process of MAPP classes and this is our next assignment. Like you, I have been dreading this assignment because I too did not want to just sell ourselves, but at the same time I want the child's parents to know that I am a good person and will take care of their child as my own. My biggest struggle was how to start and end the letter and this example has given me many ideas. Thank you for sharing. Also, I too did not want to start with 'birth parent' as it seemed like that was all they were. You letter got me off to a great start and I hope that it helps the parents see into our day to day life.
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